


PAX Prime

by Cheesewheel



Category: Banana Bus Squad
Genre: Anxiety, Banter, Fluff and Smut, Friendship, M/M, Presents, Sexual Confusion, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-01
Updated: 2018-10-19
Packaged: 2019-03-25 18:53:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 50
Words: 73,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13840890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cheesewheel/pseuds/Cheesewheel
Summary: #FRIENDSHIP Besties meet up, have fun, take the piss, and be themselves. Surprises are in store.





	1. PAX and Presents

Write something, because it might be worthless, you’ll see purpose start to surface. - 21 Pilots Kitchen Sink

Snow fell outside the hotel room window, slowly icing the streets of Boston. Evan lounged on his bed, watching the weather to waste time and relax from the long flight from LA. PAX Prime began in the morning, and the gang was due to meet that evening. It was one of the few times everyone managed to get tickets, so the week was guaranteed to be crazy. Some of the guys were bringing their girlfriends as well, which just added to the number of the already large group. Evan knew they were most likely going to be splitting up into smaller groups. Tyler, Scotty, and Anthony would end up dragging each other around and getting drunk. Craig would switch between them and Nolga, Lui, Luke, and Brian. Sark and Seananners tended to drift, and Marcel and Brock would pick and choose. Evan usually hung out with the latter, but struggled to stop being mobbed by meetings and fans. He almost missed the days where he could drift by unnoticed, and just enjoy the convention. He adored his fans, and owed them a lot, but it be nice just to hang out with his mates.

The man was drawn from his thoughts as his phone buzzed. He rolled over to grab the device, checking the name. _Wildcunt._ Grinning at his own pun, Evan opened the message from one of his oldest gaming friends.

_Bitch where you hiding? Im not spending another convention hunting for your ass_

Rolling his eyes, the Canadian typed a reply.

_Im in my room waiting for you fuckers to arrive_

_Well get the fuck down here, me and moo are here_

Evan sighed, before climbing of his bed. Most of the guys had managed to get booked in the same hotel, which meant if he didn’t go down, Tyler would come up. Grabbing his key card, he left. The elevator was slow as hell, and he had to wonder if Tyler would just get bored and go looking for him. He giggled quietly at the thought of Wildcat raging about it. The elevator dinged, and gave him access to the lobby. People were milling about everywhere, Boston heaving ready for PAX. He turned his gaze above the heads, easily spotting their giant of a friend. Finally managing to weave through the crowd, Evan clapped his two friends on the shoulder.

‘Sup bitches.’ Both men span and immediately lifted the Asian man off his feet.

‘Dude, how the fuck you been?!’ Tyler practically screamed in the short man’s ear. Ears ringing, Evan managed to catch Brocks muffled ‘Hey Evan,’ before he was released. Staggering back, the smaller man gazed at his friends.

‘I was fine until you deafened me you fucker.’ Tyler just waved him off.

‘Don’t be such a pussy.’ Shoving the taller playfully, Evan glanced at the crowd. It was slowly starting to thin, allowing him to keep an eye out for the rest of the gang. The three chatted aimlessly for a while, until Moo was interrupted by a loud shout.

‘Oii, they’re over here.’ Rang out in an Irish accent, but before Evan could locate the source, he was being pulled into another hug. ‘Good to see ya man.’ He laughed at Brian’s antics, giving the other a shoulder shake as he pulled back.

‘Good to see you too Terroriser.’ Evan stepped back automatically as a smaller blur shot past, hitting Tyler hard enough to send him staggering. ‘and you Mini.’ Craig mumbled something illegible from Tyler’s shirt, sending the third arrival laughing. Even turned to look up at the tall man, grinning. ‘How do you manage these two Nogla?’

‘I don’t,’ was the reply before the Canasian was pulled into a bear hug, the taller man’s laugh rumbling across it. Evan grinned up at him, as further shouts echoed across the lobby, signalling the arrival of Marcel, Simone, and Anthony. Chaos ensured, as various hugs, brofists and insults were traded. Scotty and Chrissy appeared soon after, dragging Cartoonz with them, beginning the process all over again.

Evan took a small step back from the growing group, smiling at his friends chatting. Craig bounced between people, rapid conversation spilling forth, as Nogla attempted to wrestle him into a headlock. Brian was teasing Brock, and half watching Tyler and Marcel bicker. Simone rolled her eyes towards Evan at their behaviour, whilst helping Scotty out of a potted plant where Anthony had shoved him, Chrissy laughing behind them. A hand landed on his shoulder, causing him to jump slightly. Luke grinned down at him.

“Chill dude, just me. I’ve got something for you.” Evan tilted his head, narrowing his eyes slightly.

“It’s not another crappy tourist keychain, is it?” Luke had a habit of bringing these to him after he admitted he thought they were tacky. Cartoonz smirked.

“Nope, it’s from Delirious.” Evan could feel the grin stretch his face, excitement bubbling in his chest. At the elder’s knowing look, he tried to play it cool.

“Is it now?” he asked as nonchalantly as possible, glancing towards the still chattering group. Luke just rolled his eyes, pretending to slap him on the head.

“Can’t fool me, you dick. Now act excited or I won’t hand it over.” He pouted slightly. The others would give him shit for getting excited, but Luke would definitely withhold the gift. Then he had an idea.

The phone was out of his hand before he could even unlock it.

“No you don’t, cheeky fucker, Jon’s not helping you this time. Now start begging.” The North Carolinan was quick to catch on, Evan had to admit. He gazed hopelessly at the phone being dangled away from him, before heaving a sigh.

“Please Luke.”

“Try harder fucker.” The Canasian closed his eyes for a moment, before clasping his hands in front of him, and widening his eyes.

“Please Luke, I can’t wait to what Delirious has bought me, and I hate to stand another minute not knowing.” His voice was filled with sarcasm, but he knew there was lingering truth under it. The stares of the group drilled into his side, their attention haven been caught. He swore mentally at Luke, who noted his glare with a grin.

“Evan, Evan, Evan. Now that may have been enough if y’all actually sounded genuine, but you fucked it up. So on your knees, Bitch.” The guys let out a collective “Ooooooo” before the shouting began.

“Get down for that dick Vanoss!” Tyler hollered, Mini cracking up beside him.

“Go for it Evan, it doesn’t taste that bad.” _Thanks Jiggly…_

“Do it ya focker!” Nolga managed to attract even more stares from the surrounding public. Evan flipped them off, turning back to the root of his problems. Luke raised his eyebrows, grinning like a fool, waiting for him to make the first move. _This better be fucking worth it Delirious._ Heaving another sigh, the Canadian dropped onto his knees, deciding to just get it over with. Hands clasped, puppy dog eyes in full force, he pouted up at the taller.

“May I have my present now. Pretty please Luke. I want to see what Jonathon sent me,” he begged, using his most innocent child voice. Luke burst out laughing, offering the other a hand to pull himself up with. Tyler’s wheezes and Anthony’s laugh echoed over the others, all of whom were pissing themselves. Terroriser was struggling to hold his vlogging camera steady, whilst Nogla’s had been dropped on the ground.

Evan face was burning. _Fucking dicks_ he thought, grinning at his ridiculous friends. Luke turned towards his rucksack.

“I can see why that face works on Jon now. You’re adorable,” the elder said, reaching to ruffle Evan’s fauxhawk. He ducked the approaching hand, swatting it with a lazy hand.

“Fuck off, I’m manly as hell.” A bundle of wrapping paper was shoved into his hands, smiling wide enough to feel his cheeks ache. Luke once again rolled his eyes, scoffing at the man.

“Bullshit.” Evan ignored him, ripping the blue paper off his present. He took a moment to look at it, before bursting into laughter.

“What is that?” Lui quizzed, appearing next to him. Taking several deep breaths, the Canadian held up the plushie. It was a honey badger like in Far Cry 4, poised to ‘attack’, with the words _fight me bitch_ embroidered in its chest in bright red. He grinned at his friend’s confusion, giggling uncontrollably. He gained several weird looks before the others turned to greet Lui, effectively distracting them from him.

His phone was slipped back into his hand, which he unlocked and took a selfie with the toy. He sent it with a simple caption.

_Just tell me where to find you, and I will ;P_


	2. Dinner and Teasing

Evan gazed around at his friends, all crowded round the table. After Sark and Seananners showed, they had finally found a restaurant willing to seat all twelve of them. The table was loud, laughs flowing easily. Nogla was attempting to vlog his food, interrupted by Lui promoting his channel as usual. Craig was stealing Tyler’s pizza whist the taller was distracted by Anthony. Evan grinned softly, joining in the laughter when Scotty managed to snort beer out of his nose. Brock, sat to his left, nudged him.

“Good to see them again, ain’t it?” The tone was sarcastic, but the other knew he was genuine. “Shame Delirious never joins us, I’d bet he’d love this.” Cartoonz lifted his head towards them from across the table. Evan shrugged.

“He’ll appear when he’s ready to.” The statement was short, to the point. The others had a habit of trying to pressure Jonathon into showing up, but Evan always made it clear that he was willing to wait for his friend. It usually ended up in a teasing about being over protective, but he didn’t care.

“I would have thought you of all people would be the most eager to actually see the dude.” Brock’s tone was careful, polite and questioning, and low enough only Evan and Luke could hear him. Evan took another bite of his food, chewing slowly. Luke was staring him down, waiting for his answer. Finishing his mouthful, he put down his fork.

“Do you really think I wouldn’t be over the moon to actually meet him? The dudes my best friend, of course I’m eager. Fuck knowing what he looks like, it just be great to actually spend time with him, not through a computer. But I also know that pressuring him ain’t gunna do shit. We may not give a shit what he looks like, but he obviously cares about it, so it’s up to him when it happens.” His words were careful, trying not to give too much away, whilst emphasising the importance of Jon’s decision. There was a finality to his words, pointing towards the end of this conversation, until Brian leant over from Brock’s other side.

“See, this is why people think yer fucking,” the Irishman said with a smirk. Evan huffed a sigh, rolling his eyes, as Moo shoved the other. The Canasian caught Luke’s eye, receiving an approving nod from the elder. Being Johnathon’s oldest friend and the only one who had actually seen the man, Evan knew the man wouldn’t hesitate to kick their asses should they say something wrong.

The conversation was dropped, dinner finished, and they ended up back in Craig’s room, two floors above his own. Sark and Seananners had ditched them for their own beds. The alcohol kept flowing, making their cheeks rosy, and lips loose. Evan sat back in the only armchair, sipping at his beer, once again just observing his friends. Surprisingly enough his presence in the group was a lot less in person, than during gameplay. He enjoyed watching the chaos, just throwing in a comment every now and then to sass someone.

His phone buzzing drew his thoughts away. Checking it, he smiled. _Jonathon._ Unlocking the device, he opened the message.

_You wish bitch. Youd lose anyway XP_

_Keep telling yourself that_

_Its true. How are the guys?_

_Busy getting drunk. Scotty just licked Jiggly_

_Gross. Probs tastes like homeless. You joining them?_

_In licking people? No thanks_

_In drinking you dick_

_Ive had a couple, but im not as far gone as the others_

_Pussy_

_Hi wildcat, didn’t realise I was talking to you, especially as you are half asleep on Minis bed_

_Is he really???_

_*picture*_

_HA! Saved. Why is moo on terrorisers legs?_

_He complained they were cold, so brock thought of a solution._

_Nawwww. How come yoi dont do cute things like that for me_ _☹_

_Because I haven’t met you dick. Come see me, and I might_

_Maybe_

That made Evan pause. It wasn’t a straight out no like usual. This was getting interesting.

“Whose Jonathon?” came over his shoulder, making him jump. The Canadian fumbled not to drop his phone, turning to see Chrissy leaning over his shoulder. He opened his mouth to reply, but Marcel cut in.

“He’s Evan’s bae, also known as the one and only Delirious.”

“Fuck off dude,” was the blunt reply he gave. Simone slapped the dark skinned man from her perch on his lap.

“Don’t tease him Marcel. It’s cute how close they are.” Nogla butted in from across the room.

“I ship it!” was all he got out before Mini tackled him, pillow in hand. The resulting screams caused Tyler to stir.

“Would you faggots shut the fuck up?”

“No, we’re discussing Evan’s love life,” Brian shot back from the floor, Moo sending Evan an upside-down look of apology.

“What love life? He can’t fuck a dude he’s never seen.” _Thanks Tyler, appreciate that_ the Asian thought.

“Maybe we can persuade him to put a paper bag over his head, and then they can bang.” Evan glared at the Irishman, silently plotting his and Wildcats deaths. Slow and painful sounded perfect. He glanced over at Toonz, hoping for backup, only to find the man filming the exchanged. He flipped him off, before turning back to the arguing pair.

“That’s fucking dumb.”

“Can you think of anything better ye cunt?”

“How about we stop talking about it?” Evan shot out. Both men ignored him.

“Tell Evan to stop being a pussy, and go and see the fucker. He has his address.”

“He won’t focking do that. Vanoss is too nice to break Delirious’s trust,” Nogla chucked out from under Lui, who was sat on his head. The squeaker decided to throw his two cents in.

“Nogla’s right. We need to get Delirious to him.” Evan dropped his head into his hands. This was not going well for him.

“And how exactly are you going to do that?” Brock sounded confused, still giving the now prone Canadian worried looks. Lui grinned.

“Simple. We use the only person who knows him better than any of us.” All eyes shot towards Cartoonz, still recording.

“Y’all can fuck off, I aint helping you.”

“Y’all…” Scotty echoed from the floor, bursting into giggles. Chrissy patted his head like a dog, rolling her eyes.

“Come on Luke, you’ve got to have been battered by twice the sexual tension we have,” Craig whined, flopping down next to the giant on his bed.

“There isn’t any sexual tension,” Evan protested, earning him several scoffs. Anthony wandered over, sitting on the arm of his chair and looping an arm around his neck.

“Are we going to have to teach little Evan about what boners mean?” the man chortled, ruffling the Asian’s hair. Evan tried to shove him off, but the hold just tightened into a headlock.

“You guys are dicks,” the Canasian grumbled.

“Yeah, and you’re annoying us with your denial. So shut the fuck up,” Tyler replied, moving his head onto Mini’s lap.

“Fucking hypocrite,” he muttered back. The taller shot him a sideways glare, allowing the youngest of their group to pet his hair. Evan managed to struggle free on Panda, allowing him to fall in his seat as the Canadian stood.

“Right, I’m going to bed you fucks.” He received boos from Brian and Scotty, Moo waving goodnight at him.

“Night Evan,” Chrissy and Mini called after him as he left. A lift ride later, he entered his room, immediately zeroing in on the plushie sat on his pillow. Grinning, he got ready for bed and curled around the soft toy that smelt like pine and pizza. It didn’t take long for him to drift off, breathing in the scent of his best friend left on the badger.


	3. Hangover's and Texting

When Evan managed to meet up with guys for breakfast the next morning, the majority of the large group looked worse for wear. Heading for breakfast, his attempts at conversation were met with hungover grumbling, Tyler in particular swatting at him to make the shorter be quiet. He snorted at his tall friend, taking note of his bloodshot blue eyes and hangdog expression, only lightening when the coffee shop came into view. Evan stood back whilst his friends wrestled to be first to satisfy their caffeine addiction, sharing a grin with Brock, who was the only other person looking half alive.

Half an hour later, stomachs sated, they waltzed into the convention centre. Almost immediately most the guys disappeared, hunting for certain games that were rumoured to be debuting. Evan sighed heavily. He wanted to join them but had a meeting in half an hour. Lui and Craig remained with the Canadian as they also had the same meeting, the three of them wandering slowly towards the room, gazing at the colourful displays, Evan half listening to the vivid tale of Tyler throwing up in Craig’s bathroom last night, and the resulting smell the Brit had to deal with.

All to soon it ended, and the meeting began. What was meant to be a short idea session ended up taking three hours, which caused the men to emerge with growling stomachs, immediately ringing their friends to help hunt down lunch. They found an In and Out Burger down the street, and met up with the rest, who were chattering excitedly about various items and games they had found, and fans that had recognised them. Evan couldn’t help but feel a tad jealous, wishing he could go have fun after lunch, instead of doing some random live stream gameplay like he was meant to.

Once again, his phone managed to draw his thoughts away. Johnathon had text him again. Curiously, he opened it.

_Are you ok?_

Tilting his head in confusion, the Canasian glanced around. He knew he would have no idea if the mysterious man was near, and the likelihood was near zero, but the question made it seem like the older could see his dark mood.

 _I’m ok, why?_ The reply was immediate.

 _Cause thats bullshit_ Evan frowned.

_And how do you know that? You stalking me or some shit?_

_Dont flatter urself, I just have an informant. Now spill_

He looked up, raising an eyebrow at the bearded man in front of him, Luke raising one in return as he munched through a mouthful of burger. He rolled his eyes at the other, going back to his phone.

_I’m fine del, just a busy day. Meeting ran over by a couple hours, now I’ve got this live stream thing for syndicate. Was just hoping to spend some time actually enjoying PAX._

_That fucking sucks :(_

Before he could even type a reply, the phone buzzed again.

_Ill be watching thou, moral support and all that gay shit_

_I’ll give you a shoutout, that’ll make the fans go mad._

_Do it and I will fucking stab you in the dick_

_Gotta come find me first ;)_

_Fuck you too bitch_

Evan just laughed at that, shaking his head at Brock’s questioning gaze. Delirious always managed to cheer him up and get him laughing again, no matter the situation. When gaming, if the other started giggling or fucking about it would set Evan off, generally leaving them both gasping for breath. Johnathon’s laugh was so infectious, despite its mad quality, and it was rare not to hear it. Add in the fact he and Evan liked to wind each other up, competing with, and playing pranks on the other, their sessions always felt brighter somehow.

The Canadian spent the rest of his day grinning. During his stream, on a new horror game, his attention wandered far from the creator and the host, thinking how much Jon would like this new game and if there were any cool glitches he could find to later show the older man. He shuffled awkwardly when the attention was draw to him, never very comfortable on live camera. The host began questioning him as the creator ran him through some Easter eggs, Evan himself throwing out some sassy comments every now and then.

With no warning, a mutilated face flashed across the screen with a scream, causing himself and the host to jump. The other man gave his own short scream, causing the creator to start grinning madly. Evan swore quietly, narrowing his eyes at the screen. The stream caught up a few seconds later, blowing up as many commenters started type yelling about their own fear. Once he had calmed, the host quickly wrapped up the session, wide eyed and shaking. The man was obviously not used to jump scares in horror maps, Evan thought, whilst shaking hands with the creator.

The Canasian wandered away checking his phone for the time. He had a couple hours to kill before the time they agreed to meet for dinner, so he wandered towards the main hall, listening to the noise swell. He weaved through the crowds, taking his time to appreciate separate stalls and take a few pictures. Only a couple fans recognised him, leaving him in peace after a signature and a selfie.

He eventually found a stall selling various Youtube merchandise, including some of the guys things. He took a picture of the H2O delirious poster, sending it to the man himself. His reply was just an offer of a free one from the elder, signed and all. The younger took the opportunity to mess with his friend.

 _OMG really, I can’t believe THE Delirious offered me a signed poster!!!_ The other obviously didn’t fall for his crap, replying quickly.

 _Shuch the fuck up bitch_ Evan just grinned.

_Aww come on Jon, you know you looooooooooooooove me_

_Suck my dick motherfucker_

_II might when we meet ;)_ He flushed after sending that, wondering if he was taking their flirting too far. But Jonathon came through like always.

 _Omg vanossgaming just offered to suck my dick!!!! Can you beleive that???_ Evan just chuckled, phone buzzing with a message from _Mooma._

_Heyy Evan, you ok? We were meant to meet 10 minutes ago._

Evan cursed himself, noticing the significantly more empty hall. He shot a quick text back to Brock.

 _Sorry dude, didn’t notice the time. I’ll be there in 20._ Evan shook his head, sending Jon another text.

_Gtg dude, I’m late for dinner and Tyler will kill me if Nogla starts whining cause of me_

_Dont die :(_

_Naw, I didn’t know you cared. You’ll have to avenge me if I do._

_I dont care bitch, you just get me more views_ Evan left the centre, wandering through the light snow, typing his reply as he went.

_I knew you were just using me for my fame, it’s not like your face could make you twice as many subscribers_

_Are you calling me pretty?_

_I don’t know, are you?_ Evan paused at a cross walk, gazing at the slow-moving traffic.

_Nahh, im pretty average._

_Nothing about you could ever be average Jon._


	4. Lateness and Thinking

Evan arrived back at the hotel, shaking snow from his hair. He gazed around the lobby, spotting Brian and Brock hidden in a corner, heads close as they whispered to one another. Brock started giggling at something the other had said, Evan watching Brian’s face light up as he watched the shorter, causing him to roll his eyes at them. He knew the pair had a soft spot for each other, causing him to wander over more slowly, not really wanting to disturb them. But, alas, he was spotted soon by Moo, the man waving him over.

“Heyy, where the others at?” the Asian greeted. Brock heaved a sigh.

“They buggered off to go get a table, saying you were taking too long. We decided to hang back to catch you,” the elder explained, Brian nodding along in the background, before chucking in his two cents.

“What took ye so long anyway? It’s usually Nogla we end up waiting on, not you.” Evan shrugged.

“Just forgot the time, I guess. We should go before the others get even more pissed at me.”

 

Upon the three arriving at the restaurant, the others let out a cheer, Nogla going as far as pretending to sob on Evan’s shoulder.

“Dude, we thought you were dead!” Tyler grinned at the shorter man, obviously not worried. “Did you get stuck in a fucking well or something?”

“I just got distracted you dumbass’s,” he replied, shoving David away as he sat. Panda pushed a glass of beer his way, Evan shooting back a smile of thanks as he took a sip, before glancing around at the table, mentally counting off heads. “Where’s Mini, Sark, and Nanners at?” he quizzed after they placed their orders. Lui responded, not even looking up from his phone.

“Mini and Nanners went to go see some other dudes they know, and Sark buggered off to do something. Marcel and Simone have gone for a _romantic_ dinner together.” Evan nodded, having also noticed the missing couple. It was nice that they could spend some one on one time with each other, especially with how mental the group could get. If anything, the Canadian was surprised Chrissy and Scotty didn’t do the same, but then he had to suppose it was the different dynamics between the two couples, despite their similar affection levels.

Evan didn’t notice how lost in thought he was until their food arriving brought him back to reality. He dug in with gusto, the smell causing his hunger to flare and stomach to growl. They had gone for Texan style barbeque food, and it was delicious, easily filling the horde of hungry males their group consisted of. Chrissy was claimed the champion of ribs after eating even Tyler under the table, both left groaning with overfilled stomachs.

Despite this, desert was still ordered, with the usual prank birthday cake, this time for Brian. The man insisted upon vlogging the experience, accusing them all of being dicks, laughter bubbling forth despite it all. Evan watched it all quietly, grinning happily. He really did love his insane friends, and they way that they all meshed together, like some big dysfunctional family.

When they finally wandered back to the hotel, most of the guys planning on sleeping off residual hangovers, Evan found himself wandering along with Luke. The taller grinned at him, throwing a long arm around the Canasian’s shoulders.

“Soooooooo Evan,” Luke drawled, “How’s life going for ya?” Evan rolled his eyes, shrugging the arm away.

“It’s going fine, dick. What about with you? How’s Genay?” The elder grinned happily.

“She’s doing great, thanks. Upside of having me in her life,” was thrown out cheekily, quickly followed by “Nahh, I’m kidding, she’d kick my ass if she heard that.” Evan laughed.

“Why am I not surprised you are whipped as fuck?” A shove was delivered with the response.

“You can fuck right off you dick. Trust me, you find the right person, be whipped ain’t so bad. Not that I am, you tard, I’m just saying.” Toonz’s deep laugh joined in with Evans’s own giggles, echoing off the shop fronts. “Seriously though, it’s worth it.” The look on Luke’s face told the shorter everything he’d ever want to know. The normal look of indifference on Cartoonz face had softened, his grin becoming warmer as the man thought of his partner.

Jealousy tugged at Evan’s heart, making him wish he had someone like that in his life, that makes him smile in the same way. His last relationship hadn’t ended badly per say, it being a mutual decision to break up, but it did leave a bit of a gap in his life. Jonathon had been particularly good during that time, making sure to keep Evan as distracted as possible, either by playing games, or just texting him with anything funny the clown could find. The Asian’s phone had buzzed for nearly 5 hours solid at one point, a constant stream of memes coming through. It had gotten to the point where, after disturbing the recording, Marcel had called Luke to go and get Delirious to ‘knock it fuck off’ as the other gamer put it.

He must have been grinning at the memory, because Luke nudged him.

“What y’all looking so happy for?” Evan shook his head, glancing up at the taller.

“Huh? Nothing, just remembering something from a while ago.” A raised eyebrow appeared. “Seriously, just the time Basically called you to go beat up Del.” Luke smiled knowingly, throwing his arm back around Evan’s shoulders.

“I should’ve know that smile was connected to Jonny. He looks the same way when he thinks of you,” the taller winked down, laughing loudly as he was shoved away. They entered the hotel lobby, heading towards the elevators, Evan willing his blush to go down.

“Really, you too Toonz? I get enough shit off the other’s as it is,” he grumbled fondly. It didn’t bother him really, as he knew no harm was meant, and he took the piss out of the others enough. The elevator arrived at Luke’s floor, the man holding the doors open. Evan raised his eyebrow, receiving an eyeroll in return.

“I only do it because watching you two fuckers is painful. Night fucker.” The Canadian watched the others retreating back in confusion. _What the fuck was that meant to mean?_ He barely noticed the elevator dinging at his floor, walking to his room in a daze. Cartoonz’s words didn’t make sense, how could watching him and Jonathon be painful? They were best friends and since meeting, had got along like a house on fire. Yes, insults flew between the two, but there was never any malice behind it, only a rough sort of affection. They riled each other up, one’s cheekiness bouncing off the other, multiplying until they were rolling about, crying with laughter.

Evan took a moment to just think about Delirious. The man was unique, that he was sure about. Even with the lack of face reveal, he drew the attention of millions, with an insane laugh and upbeat personality that earned him his fame. The man could swear like a sailor when they ganged up on him, but still come out giggling like a madman. But behind all that, the mysterious man that no-one but Cartoonz knew, the person beneath the mask, was even more than the public knew. Jonathon was Delirious plus so much more. There was a sweet undertone to the older gamer, one that remember everything he and Evan discussed, no matter how stupid. Everything he sent the Canadian had meaning behind it, some reference to something they had done or talked about.

His last birthday present consisted of several parts, including; a stuffed owl, a limited edition H2O Delirious shirt, some new blades for his skates (Evan had mentioned a month earlier how his were getting old), a gift cards for his favourite pizza place, a couple of graphics cards, another Delirious hoodie to add to his building collection, a single gummy bear in 43 layers of wrapping paper (yes, he counted), an _Oh Canada_ mug that changed to a moose when hot water was added, and a ‘Pac Man’s little bitch’ pillow. Evan had laughed for hours unwrapping it all, alternating between telling the other he was a god or a dick.

After showering, Evan climbed into his bed, pulling his badger close. Finger tracing the words on its chest, the man pondered once more over what Luke had said. The only thing that made him remotely sad about Jonathon was the fact he had yet to meet him face to face, but he knew it was a matter of patience. Nothing that could be seen as painful. Shrugging to himself, the Asian settled, remembering Luke’s other statement. _He looks the same way when he thinks of you_ made the younger smile. It was nice to think he was in his friends thoughts regularly enough for Toonz to be able to tell. Feeling his chest fill with a soft warmth, Evan smiled and slowly drifted off, manic laughter echoing in his dreams.


	5. Attack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Potential trigger warning: talk of anxiety and anxiety attacks.

It was 3:19am when Evan was woken by his phone ringing. Gathering his bearings, he rolled over with a sigh, grappling for his phone and squinting from the light of the screen. _Jonathon._ Suddenly wide awake, he sat up quickly, answering the call.

“Del? What’s up?” the Canadian croaked out, voice rough and deep from sleep. For a second only rapid breathing echoed over the call, before a stuttered

“Ev-Evan,” came through. Biting his lip, the younger glanced round the room, as if looking for something to help him. Jonathon sounded terrified, and it tugged at his heart. Realising the man was waiting for a response, he opened his mouth.

“Jon, what’s wrong? Are you ok? Wait, forget that, it was fucking stupid. Are you safe? Are you at home?” Evan was babbling, he knew, but he didn’t know what else to do. “Do you want me to go wake Luke?” Silence, excluding heavy breathing, for a few moments, before a quiet,

“No. Can… can you just talk to me for a b-bit? Please?” He smiled sadly, despite the fact Delirious couldn’t see him.

“Of course,” was his soft reply, mentally scanning for a topic. “Heyy, I don’t know if Toonz told you, buy Jiggly had the best story to tell at dinner….”

Evan rambled for what seemed like hours, moving from the trip to random stories of the guys he knew, and then onto his own childhood and hockey playing. His friend was silent the whole time, the only sign he was still there being his unsteady breaths and an occasionally low hum. The Canasian was just finishing his explanation of the time his face got busted open on the ice, when Delirious spoke up again.

“Vanoss?” Despite the softness of the tone, the word was strong enough to make Evan shut up immediately. He straightened from his slumped position, staying silent in order to let the other speak. “Thank you for this… I didn’t mean to wake you, I wasn’t really thinking about the time when I called and all, so sorry ‘bout that.”

“Jonathon, don’t you dare be sorry. I’m glad you called, I’d rather be woken up than let you go through that alone, ok?” A non-committal hum was his answer, making him frown. “Stop it Del, I’m serious. I’m here for you, no matter what, because you’re my best friend, and I know you’d say the same. Well… I hope you would…” he trailed of nervously thinking he spoke a bit too much. _Way to sound like a fucking girl Fong._ Jon replied before he could insult himself further.

“Of course I would, you dumbass.” Despite the insult, the elder’s tone remained soft. “You’re being a sappy fucker by the way.”

“I noticed, surprisingly enough,” he grumbled back affectionately. Comfortable silence floated between them for a few beats, before Evan spoke up again. “Jon…” he began hesitantly, “what happened?” A groan came back. “You don’t have to tell me, if you don’t want to.”

“No, it’s ok. It’d be a dick move to wake you up and not tell you why…” Delirious mumbled, normally cheerful voice sounding worn. “I was being stupid, and managed to give myself an anxi-iety attack.” Evan ignored the stumble, frowning lightly.

“I thought they were getting better?” The Canadian had known about the other’s anxiety for a while, Jon having confessed about it in one of their late-night chats. He knew Luke usually helped the older man when it got bad (which just made Evan even more flattered it was himself Jonathan rang in his panic), and both Carolinians had told him how Jon was getting better with it, his attacks coming fewer and less harshly. The other man let out a long sigh.

“I thought they were, but I suppose trying this stupid idea was just.” He cut himself off, whispering a small “fuck” before Evan butted in.

“What idea?” Came out of the younger’s mouth, before he could even think it through. Delirious was just as quick.

“Nothing, forget I said any-anything.” The elder sounded panicked, breath speeding up again.

“Del, calm down, you don’t have to worry. You don’t have to say anything.” Evan listened to his friend calm down for a few moments. “You know, I won’t judge you for anything right?” Another long sigh met his ears.

“I know Evan,” was whispered, “and I will tell you at some point. I just can’t right now, yeah?”

“Yeah,” he echoed back. “Can I know why I can’t know?" A pause.

“Be…because…” Jon was hesitating, Evan could tell. Before he could brush off the question, the other continued. “Cause I have no idea what exactly is happenin’ with it all, and I don’t want you to hate me if it goes wrong.” The words rushed out, accent thickening around them, but their meaning the Asian tilted his head.

“I could never hate you Jon.” He threw it out, blunt as anything. “You may be a fucking weirdo, but so are the rest of us. You’re also stupidly funny, an absolute maniac, have the best laugh I have ever hear, and are a really nice dude when someone gets to know you. I know I haven’t actually seen you, and you think it would change something, but it honestly doesn’t matter to me. You are my best friend cause your you, and your face won’t change that, or anything else.”

“Not even the guys being dicks?” was quietly interjected.

“Not even that,” Evan responded defiantly. He gazed across the room, wishing he could see his friend, let him see serious Evan was, to be able to hug him and hold him together. The very thought seemed to suffocate the younger, putting pressure on his chest until it seemed unbearable. A soft, yet unmistakable giggle knocked him back to reality.

“Sappy.” Evan flushed, momentarily glad they were miles apart, grinning at the laughter spilling into his ear. He ended up giggling too, eventually flopping back onto his bed, yawning. Delirious quietened, and rustled something.

“Shit, it nearly 5. I better let you sleep, you’ve got that panel tomorrow haven’t you?” Glancing at his own clock, the Canasian sighed.

“Yeah, got to be up at 7,” he yawned back, rolling onto his side, badger in hand.

“The go to sleep, you stupid fuck.”

“I will if you shut the hell up, bitch,” he grinned back. A laugh was heard.

“Night Vanoss. Sleep tight bitch.” Jon yawned himself. “And Evan?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks… for everything. You’re the best.”

“Aww, I’ll tell Cartoonz you said that.” Evan giggled at himself, letting his eyes slide shut.

“Fuck off.”

“Never! Night dude,” He muttered, receiving his own slurred response, his phone beeping as he hung up. Setting it on the side table, he relaxed, darkness quickly overtaking him.


	6. Panel Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Nicknames + abbreviations on Evan's Phone, just so we aren't confused.  
> Mooma (M) = Brock/Moo Snuckel  
> Wildcunt (W) = Tyler/Wildcat  
> No(gla) (N) = if you can't work that out, well it's Daithi de Nogla  
> Toonz (T) = Luke/Cartoonz  
> Minidick (MD) = Craig/Miniladd  
> NoBannerForYou (NBFY) = Brian/Terroriser  
> BasicBitch (BB) = Marcel/BasicallyIDoWrk  
> Luidini (L) = Lui Calibre  
> Hobobear (H) = Anthony/BigJigglyPanda  
> 407pounds (407) = Scotty/407

**BANG!** Evan shot up, woken by the thud. He turned his head wildly, looking for the source of the noise, but the room looked exactly like it had the night before. Before he could think, several loud knocks echoed from the door. The Canadian untangled himself from the bed sheets, and pattered towards the door, hand rubbing sleep from his eyes. Upon opening it, Tyler’s foot neatly (yet painfully) connected with his shin, sending the shorter hopping.

“WHAT THE FUCK PIG?” he yelled, backing away from the tall man. Tyler’s face looked only partially apologetic, whilst Brian dodged around him to come help Evan from falling flat on his ass.

“I only meant to kick the door, you fuck, I didn’t know you were gunna open it. And if you had woken up on time, we wouldn’t be in this stupid situation!” Evan frowned.

“What? What time is it?” Brian spoke up from his side.

“It’s eight turty mate, and we’re running late. We tried ringing ye, but there was no answer, and apparently you didn’t hear us knocking until this twat kick yer door the first time.” Evan shot away from the man, yelling.

“FUCK! Give me 5 minutes and I’ll be ready,” he threw out, already pulling his pyjama shirt off.

“Jesus, let us leave first, gayboy. And hurry the fuck up dude.” Evan ignored him, yanking of his sweats as soon as the door shut, and pulling on the first clean pain of pants he found. Checking his phone on the way to the bathroom, the time and multiple notifications glared at him.

_8:29_

_15 new message(s)_

_12 missed call(s) from Mooma_

_7 missed call(s) from Wildcunt_

_4 missed call(s) from No(gla)_

_3 missed call(s) from Toonz_

_2 missed call(s) from Minidick_

_1 missed call(s) from NoBannerForYou_

_1 missed call(s) from BasicBitch_

Shoving a toothbrush in his mouth, he opened the messages.

M: H _eyy, where are you? Everyone else is here (7:30)_

_Evan, are you ok? You’re not answering your phone (7:45)_

_Call one of us as soon as you can please (8:00)_

W: _bitch, where the fuck are you? (7:35)_

N: _Evvvvvvvaaaannnnn. Your missing out on puncakes (7:38)_

_Did you die? (7:57)_

MD: _Tyler’s getting pissy. He says if you don’t show up soon, he gunna come up and get you (8:06)_

_Trust me, you don’t want that shit (8:06)_

Evan sighed in agreement with Craig, feeling his shin throb. Spitting out his toothpaste, and attempting to tame his hair, he continued reading.

NBFY: _Where the fuck are you dude, noglas eating all the food and brocks worrying (7:44)_

_Me and the pig are coming up, i warn you, he’s pissed (8:12)_

BB: _you’re a fucking dead man dude. (8:04)_

L: _Dude are you ok? Everyone’s worried bout you. (7:50)_

H: _Everyone else is texting you, so I thought I join in_

407: _Evvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn_

T: _you ok? It’s weird you being late. Do I need to call Jonny to track you down? (7:58)_

Evan threw the phone on the bed, grabbing the first clean shirt his fingers touched, guilt swelling in his chest. He had worried the guys, all by oversleeping. Making a mental note to apologise to them, he grabbed his jacket, stuffing his phone and wallet in his pockets, lanyard plus pass being throw over the newly formed fauxhawk.

Tyler and Brian were waiting just outside the door, and practically yanked him into the elevator, Brian jamming a takeaway cup in his hand. He sipped the coffee quietly, allowing the caffeine to drag the last few dregs of sleep away. He was dragged out of the elevator and shoved into an UBER before he could protest, the Irishman being wedged in beside him. Tyler clambered in the front, encouraging the driver to ‘hurry the fuck up’. Evan chugged the rest of his coffee, feeling blue eyes gaze him down.

“Soooooo, s’not like you te oversleep. Bad night?” The accented voice was filled with curiosity. Evan sighed, lowering the cup from his mouth, hand coming up to wipe the excess. He caught Tyler’s own icy gaze in the review mirror, waiting for his answer.

“I was up late, got a phone call.” The Canadian was deliberately vague, not wanting to blab about Jon’s attack.

“Who from? Everything ok?” Brian’s voice was cautious. The younger contemplated lying but hated doing so to his friends. Huffing another sigh, he decided.

“It was Delirious. We got chatting, and didn’t look at the clock.” It was only a partial lie, Evan bargained with himself, enough to keep Jonathon’s personal life for the own man to talk about. Icy blue narrowed, flashing angrily, as a mouth opened. Luck was on Evan’s side that morning, car pulling up at the convention centre just in time to stop the angry American from screaming his head off. Brian shoved him out of the car, and towards the front doors, leaving a fuming Tyler to follow them.

They dashed to the room, meeting Marcel and Brock by the door, both shooting him concerned frowns as he was rushed towards the organisers. A mic and ear piece was fitted, before he, Brian, Marcel, and Tyler were led to the stage, seated on a long table, one side of a podium, a few other youtubers on a table the other side. Evan barely payed them attention, too busy focusing on the looming presence behind him. As they took their seats, a quiet “ _you are so dead”_ was whispered in his ear making Evan wish one of their other friends was separating Tyler from him.

The stage suddenly lit up, drawing the eyes of the crowd to them, a cheer rising up. Evan smiled awkwardly, hyper awake of the eyes upon him. The host cleared his throat, hands clapping to draw the attention to himself.

“Welcome to the Youtube Q and A panel! As some of you know, we have a tradition here….” Evan zoned out, catching Brock’s eye in the crowd. They were flicking between himself and Wildcat, easily reading the taller’s tense body language, despite his smile. Moo had always been good at reading each of them, hence the nickname Mooma, being the most protective when something was wrong. The Canasian shot him a small smile as they stood to put on the usual capes, attempting to nonverbally promise to explain. Brock gave a short nod in understanding, eyes switching to Brian and Marcel’s end of the table.

“So let’s introduce our panellists. Too the far right, we have the Gaming Terroriser!” the host began listing off Brian’s various statistics, the screen lighting up with his logo, channel link, etc. The Arnold voice was mentioned, eye’s turning expectantly to the Irishman, who just sighed.

“I’ll do ye a deal, one Arnold voice, but I do it when I want to. Fair deal?” he sounded exasperated enough, the host eagerly agreed, moving onto Marcel.

“Onto BasicallyIDoWrk!” the man continued, running through the same motions, this time bringing up Marcel’s previous career as a balloon artist. The experience repeated for Tyler and his rage, before reaching Evan.

“Finally on my right, we have VanossGaming everyone!” His numbers were listed, Marcel calling out in the middle.

“Vanoss’s stats always make the rest of us look so tiny,” he grinned. “Metaphorically of course, as Wildcat is an actual giant.” Evan shot him a grin behind said giant, knowing it was all a joke. Brian joined in.

“Yeah, Mr. big shot over here, whose name we so don’t use as a boost for our videos,” came out, heavily sarcastic.

“Sorry Terroriser, who was your favourite to play with again?” Evan gave back, relaxing a bit more. Brian of course, just took the piss.

“Oh. My. God. You all heard that right? The Vanossgaming watches my videos!!” It was overly sarcastic, and crowd burst out laughing. The host chuckled as well, continuing.

“Right, so Vanoss, known widely for funny moments videos, and his trolling nature towards other gamers.”

 “Hey guys, it’s great to be here again, and see all your support plus meet some of you,” he grinned out at the crowd, immediately spotting Nogla jumping around in the back. “Just wanna say, it’s not only us four here, you will probably see some of the other guys we play with, like Moo Snuckel, Nogla, Miniladd, Big Jiggly, and the others who will kill me for not saying their names, but I’m not a walking google.” That earned him some giggles, Brian joining in the fun.

“In order to embarrass them, you can see Moo in the second row, and Nogla and his handler Lui at the back.” Brock glared, but stood to give a short wave, and Nogla instantly stopped jumping as the crowd turned towards him.

“That’s Lui Calibre, subscribe today!” the short man yelled, shameless as always in promoting his channel. The host drew the crowd back, introducing the other side of the table, giving Evan a moment to get lost in his thoughts. He knew he should pay attention, and made sure he kept an interested look on his face, but mentally he was in North Carolina.

What idea was Jonathon referring to? And why was it getting him so wound up? And why in the world of fuck, would the man think it would make Evan hate him? For the first time in a long time, Evan felt as though he knew nothing about the man, and that it wasn’t just distance that separated the two. He had to wonder if Luke knew what was going on with the other man, reminding himself (not for the first time) that the bearded gamer had known Jon personally for years, and of course he would know more about the mystery man. Luke might even be valuable in helping the younger, being able to make sure Delirious would pull through this conflict ok. Deciding Toonz would be his next port of call, Evan was brought back to the present by Tyler throwing an arm over him, and shaking him.

TBC.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's really late, and I've just finished this half chapter, and I'm up much later than I should be considering I have lectures in the morning. Just wanted a bit of a ramble really. Enjoy


	7. Panel Part 2

Evan started at the grip around his shoulders, overly tight. Tyler was grinning at the crowd, but his hold was telling of his frustration. The elder spoke out.

“You’ll have to excuse Vanoss here, he had a rough night, if you know what I mean,” was called out, Evan’s shoulders being shaken once more. He shrugged off the arm, feeling the back of his neck heat up.

“Sorry bout that, I got lost in thought. What was the question?” The host chuckled kindly.

“Just about the average number of hours you spend editing each of your video.” The Canadian rambled off a rough answer, feeling his friends stare at him curiously. He chose to ignore them, focusing back on the other side’s answers, knowing questions on his odd behaviour would follow.

The panel moved smoothly from there, host concentrating on tweeted questions, before turning the focus to the crowd. Most were easy to answer, being about how to enter this career or their daily routines with recording. A few more personal questions bounced about; their favourite game, person to watch, friend to play with, etc. Evan felt calm as he spoke about the changes in his life.

“Mostly, the main difference was all the people I play with, that have become my friends. We’re all close, despite most of us living far apart, and it be weird to game without them at this point,” he grinned, gazing between his friends. Cartoonz had appeared next to Lui at some point, leaning against the back wall, Evan attempting to catch his eye in order to let the man know he wanted to talk to him. His attention was drawn away as someone had to make it weird, bringing up Delirious.

“Does that include H2O Delirious? I know you guys seem close in your videos, but is that reflected in real life?” Evan gazed at the younger girl, small and brunette, wide brown eyes looking nothing but innocent. Cartoonz immediately frowned, eyes narrowing as the man stared at the girls back. The Canasian hesitated, knowing he would get shit for whatever he answered, only for Marcel to come in for the save.

“Yeah, their friends, just like the rest of us are friends. The dynamic wouldn’t work if we all secretly hated each other,” was blunt, as if the girl had asked what colour the sky was. Evan couldn’t help but let out a giggle.

“Dunno what you’re on about, I hate all of you,” Wildcat deadpanned. The other three gasped.

“But what about hashtag friendship?” Brian cried dramatically. Everyone burst out laughing, Tyler throwing his arms around Evan and Marcel, the latter doing the same to the Irishman. The four shared a look, giggling along with the crowd. When the laughter died down, they spotted the girl still standing.

“I didn’t mean anything like that, it’s just I noticed you were wearing a Delirious shirt, and wondered about its significance.” Evan looked down, seeing the signature hockey mask decorating his shirt for the first time that morning. He frowned for a moment, before remembering his manic morning (hell, how could he forget?).

“This was not intentional,” he stated, lifting his head as he pointed towards the shirt. “I was in a rush this morning, and grabbed the first clean shirt I saw.”

“He’s not kidding, Evan was the reason we were late,” Brian grinned. “I’m still waiting for Wildcat to kill him for it.”

“Don’t worry, I’m gunna,” the tall man grumbled. The host cut in, now interested.

“But you do own a limited-edition version of his shirt?” Evan rolled his eyes, feeling a bit exasperated.

“I buy all the guys shirts that they release. It’s a way of supporting my friends, not to mention they are comfy as hell.” The lack of mentioning this particular shirt for a present was deliberate. The girl sat, obviously satisfied with his answer as the questions were moved on. It was nearing the end, when Brian burst out in the Austrian accent, sending cheers across the hall, Evan immediately egging him to do it again, knowing it would wind up his friend. The Irishman glared, throwing his water bottle up the table, the younger of the two catching it easily.

“Fight me you Canadian… git,” Terroriser stumbled, attempting not to swear.

“One v. one shot gun farms, bro. I dare you.” He tossed the bottle back, nearly knocking the other off his chair.

“Ye wanna go?” came back once the man righted himself. Evan grinned wickedly.

“Yeah I wanna go. I’ll win the game, and take that chicken for my own. Cook him up, eat him for breakfast, along with your pride.” The crowd ‘ohhh’ed, watching the two intensely.

“You…..” Brian started, narrowing blue eyes at the Asian, before Tyler butted in.

“Pack it in pussies,” he said, immediately widening his eyes. “I just said pussies, and there’s kids here. Ignore me… I’m just talking about cats, cause I’m a wildcat, you know? I’m gunna shut up now,” he finished, sinking low in his chair. Marcel facepalmed, groaning at his friend’s antics. Evan just chucked at the exasperated man, letting the host take control again.

Twenty minutes later, the Q&A wrapped up, the friends meeting the others back stage. Brock immediately handed Evan a breakfast bagel, which he almost inhaled, stomach growling viciously. They wandered towards the main hall, chatting aimlessly about the panel, Luke flanking Evan’s free side (Brock was on the other).

“Explain.” The Asian couldn’t fault Cartoonz, the man never one to beat around the bush. Finishing his bagel, he slowed down another couple steps, widening the gap between them and the rest of the group.

“Jon called me in the night,” he gave, glance at Brock, silently asking Luke how much he could say.

“I trust ‘im.” Gaze switching to the other man, “tell no one about what is said.” Moo nodded silently, easily understanding the seriousness.

“He had an anxiety attack, and I talked him down. I was up talking to him for about 3 hours, and apparently slept through my alarms. Didn’t wake up until Wildcat tried to kick down my door.” The other two exchanged glances.

“Did he say why it happened?” Brock quizzed. Evan shrugged back.

“I asked, but he didn’t want to say. Reckoned it would upset me, which is stupid.” He turned to the taller. “Any clue what he could’ve been on about. Said he was trying an idea, but that was it.” He studied Luke’s face carefully, seeing a flicker of something, before a blank mask took its place.

“Ah,” was all he said. Evan glanced at Brock, who just shrugged, looking as confused as himself.

“Ah what?” Toonz sighed, stopping to turn fulling towards the youngest.

“Look, I know what it was about, but I can’t tell you. Don’t give me that fucken look, I made a promise to my brother, that I intend to keep. Thanks for helping calm down, but this is something yer gunna need to leave for Jon to work through.” Brown eyes narrowed, jaw setting in frustration.

“So you expect me to just forget about something that not only gave my best friend an anxiety attack, but also is meant to make me hate him. Not fucking likely Luke.” A warm hand settled on his shoulder, Brock silently trying to calm him down. The others had stopped ahead, finally noticing the paused three, Brock shooting them a look to stop their approach. Evan and Luke ignored them, staring each other down, waging a battle of wills. The Carolinian eventually looked away sighing.

“Look, I want to tell you, but I swore on my life. I can’t stop you asking him about it, but I need you to trust me when I say it’s best not to. You will find out eventually, and it has the potential to make you and Jonny reach fucking cloud nine happiness. He will be ok, and as much as I know you won’t end up hating him, I have the assurance if you do, I will kill you.” The man scratched his beard, scanning Evan’s face.

The Canadian tilted his head, eyes never leaving Luke’s. for a second, he thought about fighting the man on the idea, fists clenching in frustration. He knew Jonathon would never forgive him if he upset the elder man, so he took a step back, releasing a sigh with his fists. Moo gave his shoulder another squeeze before slipping away to distract the others. Luke gave him a short nod, also leaving to join the group as Evan stood gazing unseeingly at the crowd.

He had no choice but to trust Luke in this matter, being the only physical connection between himself and his best friend. He rubbed his face tiredly, passing the hand through his hair, messing it up before turning back towards his friends.


	8. Meet Up and Drunk Nights

The fan meet up was organised for after lunch, each of them tweeting out the location fifteen minutes before. A decent crowd gathered to one side of the entrance hall, asking the gamers for various signatures, pictures, selfies, and hugs. Evan ignored his friends concerned glances, and none of them could get a word in edgeways past the fans chatter, meaning he could avoid their questions. It wasn’t forever, but it was some time to spend just enjoying meeting the people who support them.

The first sharpie empties in a flash, used on various badges, posters, and books. The second was used more creatively, on a few skateboards, a rubix cube, and a guy’s face. By the third, Evan’s wrist and face were aching from constant use, faces blurring together in his memory. His phone had been vibrating none stop, as people tagged him in their twitter posts and photos. The crowd began to thin at pen four, and by the time that ran out, there were just a few stragglers.

He was chatting away with a teen, probably about seventeen, explaining his microphone choice. The younger was interested in electronic equipment development, and wanted the Asian’s opinion on what he thought was important. After he thanked the older and moved away, Evan turned to his friends. They were laughing away about something Scotty had said, the man sat on some railing, swinging his legs at Tyler. Sark and Seananner’s had joined them for the occasion, Simone and Chrissy leaving to spend more time looking at the stalls. The boys were joking together, close as the family they had become.

An arm swung around the Canadian’s shoulders. It belonged to Anthony, who settled at his side, Nanners appearing on the other, the look inn their eyes making Evan suspicious.

“What’s up with you then, Vanoss?” Adam questioned, eyebrows raising with the youngers.

“Nothing.” It was a short answer, Canasian male not willing to give up his pride just yet. Panda let loose as loud fake laugh, patting his shoulder.

“Bullshit. _You_ , are not the type to oversleep and be late, or start arguing with Luke of all people.” A black eyebrow rose in question as arms folded across his broad chest. “Wildcat told us. Dude was bitching as usual, but even Nogla could tell he was worried.” Blue eyes pinned his brown, scanning them for answers Evan didn’t really want to give out.

“Look, I’m just having a bad week, alright?” he shrugged, watching Lui climb Nogla like a monkey, the Irish one swearing up a storm and using Mini as a balance aid. Sark appeared next to Jiggly.

“Try again Evan,” he threw in. Nanner’s nodded.

“We know you better than that,” the other added. The youngest was silent for a moment, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he watched the main group fuck about. His arms remained crossed, fingers tapping rhythmically against one bicep as his eyes caught Brock, knocking hips with Brian as they laughed together with Nogla and Lui. Tyler had Scotty in a head lock, Craig in tears next to them clutching his stomach. Luke was leaning against the wall nearby, rolling his eyes at the various antics, phone in one hand as he texted. Evan’s gaze lingered for a moment, knowing he should apologise to the bearded man.

It wasn’t Luke’s fault. His loyalty to Jonathon was to be respected, especially when he could hurt the other so easily, Cartoonz helping to keep the masked man’s secret safe. He wouldn’t take any of Delirious’s shit, whilst being ready to rip anyone who spoke bad of his friend a new one. Del was lucky to have him for a friend, but with all that, Evan still felt a bit bitter. The Canasian would never even consider betraying his best friend’s trust, or turning his back on him.

Sark ruffled his hair, pulling his gaze away from the other to slap the man’s hand away. Sark just grinned.

“Come on man, let’s go get some food, and we can gossip after.”

“Yes, I’m starving!” Jiggly complained, catching the other’s attention. They gathered around like a hungry pack of wolves, phones being pulled out to search for nearby restaurants.

They were soon wandering down the snowy street, Chrissy and Simone meeting them on the corner by the pizza place they agreed on (meaning that Tyler demanded it after half an hour of bickering). It was a usual rowdy dinner, with food being stolen and jokes flying freely. Evan found himself relaxing for the first time in a while, teasing Nogla over his food choices, winding the man up as much as he could.

After dinner, Brian found a nearby bar, forcibly dragging Evan and Brock towards it, Anthony and Scotty tailing after them. The others left them to it, mentions of bed wandering between them. The bar was loud, chatter and music deafening them as soon as they entered, the small group finding a quieter corner booth to sit in. If wasn’t long before shots were divvied out, Brock politely declining, choosing instead to stick to his beer, the other’s booing him jokingly.

One shot turned into six, Brian attempting to drink them under the table. He and Panda got in a chugging contest, Scotty giggling madly at the wide variety of belches the wider man set loose. Evan cheered them on, feeling his head spin lightly. It been a while since he drank like this, the alcohol making his cheeks flush. He clinked glasses with Scotty, the two linking arms to finish their drinks, before another round appeared on the table.

Three pints later, they spilt back onto the streets, Evan and Brock holding Brian up with his arms draped across their shoulders, the man giggling widely, feet dragging as he professed his love for them all. Scotty and Panda were in front, linked at the elbow whilst belting out a garbled version of California Love. Moo seemed to be the only one who remembered where the hotel was, calling directions to the two, whilst making sure Evan didn’t fall over his own feet.

“ _Let me serenade the streets of L.A.”_

“You ok there?” he quizzed at Asian after he stumbled, nearly dropping Brian. Evan grinned back.

“Yup, feeling pretty good right now.” The elder smiled back.

“Well you certainly look happier that earlier.” Their cargo belched loudly, “I’m so glad we’re having a day off tomorrow.” Evan giggled.

“This is why we need to Brock, no one else could deal with babysitting our drunken asses.” Loud laughter echoed between them.

“Told you we needed you around Brocky,” Terroriser slurred. “Helps you’ve got pretty eyes too.” Evan spied the red flush creeping up his friend’s neck as he ducked his head.

“ _Shake, shake it baby, shake, shake it”_

Antony and Scotty started attempting to twerk at this point, Scotty almost falling in a trash can he didn’t see. Evan doubled over laughing at this point, releasing Brian to lean against a lamppost, clutching his stomach, only to slip in the snow and crash flat on his back, which just made the other’s laugh harder.

Somehow Brock got them back to the hotel, still giggling madly as they were shooed into the elevator. Scotty practically fell out onto his floor, Anthony swaying after him. Brock bid him goodnight at his own floor, the elder choosing to put Brian to bed. Evan managed to make it through his door, dumping his jacket just inside. Shoes kicked off, he flopped onto soft covers, almost falling asleep when his phone buzzed.

M: _Brian just threw up, I’m going to stay with him to make sure he doesn’t choke to death in his sleep_ The Canadian snorted, typing a reply.

 _Enjoy that. If you too bang, I called it._  The reply was quick.

M: _I don’t sleep with people who have just thrown up on my shoes_ More giggles echoed in the room, muffled by the pillow he was half buried in. Kicking off his shoes, Evan spotted another text.

J: _hey evan, luke told me you overslept. Im really fucking sorry (20:12)_ Shaking his head, he typed a quick reply, before rolling over and passing out.


	9. Shirtlessness and Shopping

Someone jumped on Evan’s back, jolting the Asian from his peaceful slumper. Rolling, he opened his eyes only to slam them shut with a groan. His head throbbed angrily, punishing him for the excessive alcohol consumed the previous night.

“Pussy.” Tyler’s voice carried from the doorway, seeming excessively loud in his tender ears. Mini spoke from his place next to Evan, obviously the one who had jumped on him.

“Tyler, you were literally just as bad yesterday.” Evan groaned, cutting off Tyler’s no doubt sassy response.

“How’d you fucks get in here? The door was locked for a reason, you know.”

“I let them in,” the familiar Southern accent drawled. The Canadian shifted his arm off his face, squinting at the desk opposite. Luke was perched upon it next to the TV, looking at his phone, face uninterested as usual.

“And how in the fuck did you get in?”

“Flattered the receptionist until she gave me a spare key card. No one can resist these charms.” Evan opened his mouth, staring at the man, before shutting it with a click. There was no point arguing with the man. Nogla suddenly appeared around the corner, launching himself towards the bed, landing horizontally across the two men on it. They groaned under the giggling 6ft 3in man, Craig punching him in complaint, Evan just trying not to throw up. Craig ended up rolling off and sitting on the arm of Tyler’s chair, Lui (who followed Nogla in) sitting on the desk with Luke.

David flopped about until he felt comfy, using the Canasian’s stomach as a pillow. The latter lay there, staring at the ceiling, fingers tapping rhythmically against his sternum as silence settled on the room. The others tapped away on their phones, occasionally reading out a funny tweet. It was almost peaceful, until Nogla bent his head to look up at Evan.

“I never knew you slept shirtless.”

“I don’t. I fell asleep before changing last night, and must have thrown it off in my sleep.” The taller hummed thoughtfully, relaxing back.

“No one’s going to complain, your hench as fuck,” Marcel commented, entering with Simone. “You might want to lose the toy, though. That’s not exactly gunna get you laid.”

“Ignore him Evan,” Simone added, perching on the edge of the bed. “I mean you are built really nicely, but there’s nothing wrong with a teddy.” Marcel shot them a betrayed look.

“It’s gay as fuck,” Wildcat said. Evan just sighed.

“Leave ‘im be, t’was a present from Delirious.” _Thanks Nogla…. I think._ Evan yanked a pillow over his face, wondering if he could suffocated himself.

“Yeah, he’d never get rid of a present from his boyfriend.” Lui squeaked the last word, the only retaliation being a tanned middle finger.

“Where are the others?” he muffled from his pillow sanctuary.

“Scotty’s throwing up according to Chrissy, Anthony was snoring loud enough to hear from the elevator, and Moo is still babysitting the Pukeriser.” Luke sounded bored, still not looking up from his phone.

“You called?” Brock said, dragging a paler than normal Brian behind him. The Irishman looked like shit, immediately curling up on the bed, whimpering slightly. Brock sighed, patting the mans head before looking at Evan.

“How you feeling?”

“Better that Terroriser apparently,” he sniggered back, receiving a kick. “I’d feel better if my room wasn’t broken into, though.”

“Sorry, I tried to stop them, but apparently you aren’t to be trusted anymore,” Brock shrugged, looking exasperated.

“Serves you right for being a stupid cunt,” the tallest snapped, glaring at the Asian. Craig petted the man’s hair in an attempt to calm the remaining rage, Tyler tilting his head into the hand whilst maintaining his stare. Evan raised an eyebrow at the two, only to be glared at further by icy blues. The locked in a stare down, blue clashing with brown, neither of them willing to back down until Brock and Lui smacked their heads.

“Stop fucking about, and let’s get moving. I’m bored of sitting around doing fuck all,” Lui complained, hoping off the desk. The others all looked at Evan, still lay in his bed. The Canadian huffed a sigh ( _he’d been doing that a lot lately)_ and shoved Nogla off in order to rise, the Irishman pulling out his camera.

“’ello, it’s… Tursday today, day three of PAX. As you can see, we are in Evan’s room, as he was a lazy bugger who didn’t want ta get up.” Evan flipped him off, gathering clothes to change into. “There’s Terroriser, severely hungover, with his caretaker Moo. He drank too much, and now he’s suuuffering.” The last bit came out in a sing-song voice, Brian groaning angrily in response. “Here are the other’s and a view of Evans room. It’s nicer than mine. Oii, Evan, why’d you get the nice room?” The Asian ignored him this time. “Just look at tat lucky bastard, all shirtless and shit. This is gunna get me the views boys! Vanossgaming body reveal! Just look at tose muscles, all buff AH EVAN YA CUNT!” Lifting the pillow above his head again, Evan glared down at the man.

“I will fight you Nogla.” The man ignored him, straightening his camera on his face.

“Sorry ‘bout tat, Vanoss decided to be a dick. Anyway, we’re off to explore Boston, so magical transition,” the Irishman finished, swinging himself upright. “Hurry the fock up then.” Scrubbing a hand through raven locks, the shorter moved to the bathroom for a quick shower, and to change.

Half an hour later, they were wandering the city streets. Anthony had eventually woken, and after some coffee they all felt marginally better. The group split at the centre, each chunk wandering towards various shops. Evan found himself with Marcel, Simone, Scotty, and Chrissy, in a back-alley joke shop, laughing stupidly at the fake poo and farting sludge. He ended up buying a book titled ‘How not to be a dick’ planning on sending it back with Luke for Delirious.

The back of his neck prickled as they left the shop, giving him the feeling someone was watching him. He glanced around and saw nothing, shrugging away the sensation as they emerged onto the main street. The sun was attempting to shine through the clouds, so he slide his shades on, grinning at Marcel’s unimpressed look.

Scotty pulled them into a shoe shop, Chrissy and Simone immediately disappearing into the woman’s section. Evan wandered the rows, watching Scotty drool over a pair of Vans, and Marcel glance towards his girlfriend.

“So help me Scotty, if she finds a pair of hundred dollar shoes she wants me to buy, I’m going to straight up murder you.” Evan grinned at the taller man, patting his shoulder.

“you can pick the next shop Marcel,” Four-zero whined back, eyes still glued to the shoes. Evan chose this moment to wander away from the pair, towards the converse section. He was admiring a red pair (like those on his GTA avatar) when Simone appeared next to him.

“Hey, we’re thinking about meeting the others for lunch, Chrissy’s just paying. You good to go?” He nodded, turning towards the woman. Before he could walk off, a small hand grabbed his sleeve. “There’s a man over there staring at you, has been for a while. Any idea who he is?” The Canasian turned, looking towards the section where Simone was pointing. He only caught a glimpse of pale skin before it went bright red and vanished behind some shelves. When the man didn’t reappear, he turned to the smaller woman, shrugging.

“Might be some fan or something. Let’s go get some food.”


	10. Stranger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I put that note up this morning, and as soon as lectures finished, I managed to power through another chapter. My uploading schedule is going to be weird as hell, so please bare with me. I'm not exactly the most organised person.

The darkness of the arcade made Evan squint slightly, eyes struggling to adjust to the change in light. the stale smell of sweat and snack foods seemed to permeate the very walls, carpeted floor stained with years’ worth of spilt drink and food. Noise filled the room, music and yelling combined.

They had decided to let their competitive sides free and game that afternoon, and upon finding the nearest Dave and Buster’s was several miles away, Lui had found them a local arcade. Evan raised an eyebrow at Tyler, exchanging a look with the taller man as the others ran off to get the cards. Brian returned first, shoving cards into each of their hands, before speeding off towards a driving game.

They wandered round for a while, playing the odd game, until the two found a two-player shooting game that looked interesting. They found themselves getting competitive, Tyler shouting a multitude of insults, Evan taking the piss every opportunity he got, trying to put the other off. Their yells attracted the attention of Mini and Nogla, plus several other gamers, all who crowded round the two.

Evan shot Wildcat, sending up several yells.

“You FUCK!” Tyler raged as the Asian laughed.

“Take that bitch!” he called back, taking a moment to high five Nogla, before turning back to their game. They killed Zombies, kill count rising rapidly. The timer slowly counted down, tension rising as in the final seconds, Evan threw an elbow out, attempting to off the other’s aim, but only succeeding in putting himself off balance, allowing Tyler to get the final few winning shots.

The taller man threw down his gun, cheering madly, as Evan leant back in defeat. Tyler sun, suddenly scooping Mini up by the waist, lifting the Brit above his head like trophy. Craig yelped in protest, grabbing wildly at the man’s head and shoulders in an attempt to stay balanced as he was swung left to right.

“Put me the fuck down you dick!” was screamed, a few parents shooting them looks of disgust, whether for the swearing, or the display of affection between the two males, Evan didn’t know. He raised an eyebrow back at one of the men who looked particularly angry, staring him down until he turned away. Tyler eventually put Craig, tossing an arm around the shorter and ruffling his hair. The Brit swatted at him angrily, yet didn’t move from his side.

“Piss off.” Evan just grinned at them, rolling his eyes towards Brock and Brian, who had appeared next to him. They smiled knowing at the two men joking with each other, the youngest only ducking away to go to the bathroom.

 

Evan was weaving his way back towards the others, eyes on Tyler’s dark head, when he slammed into something warm. Both he and the object grunted, the Canadian staggering back a few steps.

“Oi, watch where you fuckin’ EEP.” The object cut itself off with a squeak, sounding terrified. Evan looked down at the man he had managed to run into, blinking rapidly. Wide eyes gazed back at him, seeming to flicker rapidly with emotion. Evan couldn’t help but get caught in the bright blue, almost electric in colour, that focused on his own brown, wondering how it was possible for them to be that _blue_. They seemed to pop against pale skin, dark eyelashes and freckled cheeks accenting them. He suddenly realised he was staring, feeling heat rise up his neck.

“Sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going. Are you alright?” the Asian inquired finally. The shorter of the two (about four inches shorter than himself, Evan noticed) remained silent, pink lips still parted in an O-shape, revealing a hint of white teeth. Evan tilted his head. “Hey, are you ok?” his voice came out more concerned than embarrassed this time, hand lifting to hover above the other’s shoulder, unsure whether or not to touch him, in case he frightened the other further.

A faint whine emerged from the blue-eyed man, before pale cheeks flushed bright red, head ducking down to expose just his scruffy brown topped head. Pale fingers with black nails clenched around the oversized hoody the man was wearing, Evan catching a glimpse of his owl logo on the front, hidden in the folds where the other was hunched over. It suddenly hid him that he was the issue, in a way, and the man was a fan, most likely a bit shy. According to Brock, some people could find it intimidating how YouTube famous he had become, which is why they could be so nervous around him, despite the fact that Evan thought he looked to be one of the least threatening in their group.

Yet this strangely pretty man ( _never let the guys know you thought a man was pretty, or you’ll never live it down,_ the Canasian thought) seemed almost panicked at having run into him. Usually Evan would feel a bit exasperated, but the way the shorter was shuffling awkwardly, glancing up at him occasionally, cheeks reddening each time, made Evan grin softly. His chest filled with warmth every time he caught that impossible blue, feeling oddly charmed by the other’s reaction.

“It’s ok, I don’t bite,” he stated with a wink, making the man’s blush spread to his ears. “You a fan?” The other bit his lip for a moment ( _stop staring Evan_ ) before nodding shortly, still seeming unwilling to look the taller straight in the eye. “Well, it’s nice to meet you… what’s your name?”

The reaction was instant; face paling again, blue widening until they looked like they were going to pop out of his head, shoulders stiffening to hunch further over his chest.

“Easy, it’s ok if you don’t wanna say,” Evan stated quickly, watching the thin body relax as his head shook in the universal no gesture. Raven topped head tilted a bit, curious but unwilling to question the stranger. “You can remain mysteriously anonymous. How bout an autograph? I could sign your hoodie if you’d like?” The man seemed to pause, finally looking the gamer in the eye, seeming to search his face for any sign of a joke. Evan maintain his kind smile, hoping to put him at ease. A careful nod came back, making the taller grin. He checked his pockets, before remembering leaving his sharpie back at the hotel room.

“Have you got a pen?” he queried, a silent no coming back. The Canasian bit his lip for a moment, spotting Tyler still in the distance. “Hey, stay here for a sec, ok? I’m just going to grab a sharpie of one of my friends. Unless you want to come over?” A frantic look graced pale cheeks. “Ok, you don’t have to, but stay here ok? I’ll be back,” he emphasised, feeling oddly eager to not let the shorter disappear. Upon a confirmation nod, he started striding away, glancing back to check the man was remaining, only to spot electric blue watching him carefully. He shot him a quick grin, before returning to the task at hand.

“Any of you bitches got a sharpie?” He hollered over the noise of Nogla and Brian yelling insults at each other, caught up in the intense game play.

“Back pocket,” Brian grunted, not taking his eyes from the screen, hands never leaving the controls. Brock rolled his eyes, unabashedly shoving his hand in the Irishman’s jeans, passing Evan the pen. The Canadian paused, raising an eyebrow at his friend.

“I’m not sure I want Terroriser’s ass pen.” Craig knocked their shoulders together.

“It’s your only option, so decide how much you want it,” the Brit stated. Evan sighed, grabbing the marker from Moo, making a face at the warmth of it. “What’d you want it for anyway?” he barely glanced at Mini, turning away from the group.

“Ran into a fan, I’ll come back soon.” He was walking away when Moo called out after him.

“Must be a cute fan if you’re in that much of a rush.” _If only you knew._ Evan practically jogged back to the man, raising the pen with a grin when he got close. The other gave a shy smile back, still not quite meeting his eyes.

“So, where’d you want it?” he quipped cheekily enjoying the blush that rose to full force again. Surprising, those impressive eyes narrowed, glaring up the taller, as a pink tongue appeared in response. Evan chuckled, uncapping the pen as he waggled his eyebrows, pointing the tip towards the man. A small giggle bubbled from the man, lips struggling to remain pressed together as he glanced around. Warm brown caught sight of the two black helix piercings, with matching stud, before focusing back on task at hand.

Long fingers were tracing the grey hoodie now, the pressure allowing an imprint of lean muscles to peer through. Evan’s heart began beating harder when the hand lingered on his logo, almost seeming to caress the design, the motion making Evan’s mouth dry. Blue once again peered shyly through that light brown fringe, pink lip captured between white teeth, making the smaller look unintentionally seductive and completely jumpable., before those black nails pointed straight over his heart.

Evan wetted his dry lips, attempting to swallow, praying his face wasn’t too red. The room felt a hundred times hotter as he leaned close, dragging his eyes away from those lips to focus, as one hand flattened the fabric out. He ducked his head slightly, pressing the pen carefully against the firm surface, tracing the letters purposefully. The signature turned out as one of the neatest he had ever done, he noticed, reluctantly pulling his hands away from the warm body.

For a moment, they remained close together, gazes locked. Evan watched as lips opened, struggling to form words, before shutting with a click as pale cheeks ducked away again. He cleared his trat, taking a step back, grinning a bit awkwardly.

“There you go,” he trailed off, not really knowing how to continue the conversation. “You in Boston for PAX?” A quick nod was his only response. “Well I’ll be around too, so I’ll keep an eye out for you, yeah?”

“Thanks,” came out, quiet and nervous sounding, doused in an accent that Evan couldn’t quite place.

“No problem,” he grinned back. “I’ve gotta go back to the others, or they’ll start thinking I’vve died or something stupid.” Another giggle. “I’ll see you around, mystery man,” he smiled, walking a few steps backwards. A shy wave was directed at him, before he forced himself to turn away. He couldn’t help but glance back, though, only to find the other had vanished.


	11. Mistakes

The gaming went on for several more hours, bets and laughter being exchanged in the group. Evan occasionally found himself distracted, thinking back to the mysterious blue-eyed man whom he had run into, wondering if he would see him again (unlikely due to the thousands of people that attended PAX). At one point, Scotty raged to the point where the man was attempting to beat the machine to death with his shoe, Evan filming it and laughing until he was in tears.

They were asked to leave after that, Marcel bitching out Four-zero for getting them kicked out, the rest just feeling hungry. They split up to find a decent restaurant willing to seat all of them, the Canasian wandering the dark streets with Brian, the Irishman attempting to charm several hostess into serving them, and failing miserably.

“Piss off would ya,” he grumbled at Evan, as the other laughed at him. Two minutes later, Brian’s phone rang. “S’up Brockster. You guys found somewhere? … Awesome, sounds good, I’ll google it and we’ll see ya t’ere…. Yes, we’ll be fine, mum. Jesus, we’re grown men… sort off. See ya in a min babe.” As he hung up, Evan raised a brow.

“Babe?” Brian flushed, pale skin going bright red.

“Don’t be a cunt Vanoss, we use it ironically,” the other replyed, opening maps. The younger snickered, deciding to send Jon the video of Marcel raging, knowing the older would love it.

Evan opened the conversation, and froze. His phone slide downward in his hand, almost falling before Brian grabbed it mid-air.

“You ok tere, mate?” the other inquired curiously. Evan just let out a groan, looking for something to hit himself with. He found a nearby concrete pillar, and thumped his head against it repeatedly. _Stupid, stupid, stupid Evan. You are never drinking again, you stupid dick._ The cool surface was beginning to make his head ache, but he couldn’t care less. He may have just fucked his favourite friendship for life. Suddenly being yanked backwards by his collar, he nearly choked as he fell back into Brian.

“Dude, don’t, you’ll give yerself brain damage or some shit.”

“Good,” the Canadian grumbled back, attempting to go back to his self-punishment, but he was just pulled back further, an arm slinging around his shoulders as he was led away. Roughly a block away, he was shoved onto a slightly snowy bench, the cold, damp surface making him hiss slightly, glaring up at the other man. Terroriser just crossed his arms, frowning back.

“Why exactly were you trying to give yerself a concussion, hmm?” Evan sighed.

“Because I fucked up last night, and just found out.” A brown brow raised.

“Come on, it can’t be tat bad. We all stupid shit when we’re drunk, and it usually turns out fine.” Looking the other dead in the eye, Evan replied,

“I asked Delirious to kiss me.” The Canasian expected Brian to realise the seriousness of the situation, or even be surprised by his revelation, but the Irishman remained blank.

“So?” Evan gaped, wanting to shake some sense into the other man.

“So?! I asked my best friend to kiss me, and you say so?? I probably freaked him out, and now he’ll never talk to me again!” The volume of his voice rose as he spoke, tanned hands being shoved into his hair.

“Well he didn’t freak out last time you did that, so just do what you did then.” Evan sprang to his feet, hurriedly covering Brian’s mouth, glancing around.

“We never talked about it, you idiot,” he hissed, before being shoved roughly away.

“Fooken chill out dude, no one cares about you bloody girly meltdown. It’s not as if Del’s gunna hear yer from North fockin’ Carolina.” Blue eyes glared, looking a tad fed up.

“Sorry,” Evan mumbled, shuffling awkwardly but still tense. “Last time we just kinda ignored it happened. I’m just panicking like a fucking idiot.”

“Yeah, I could see tat. Now, tell me exactly what you sent te him, and we can calm yer the fock down.” Came back, his phone being held out to him. He unlocked it, allowing Brian to see the screen.

J: _hey evan, luke told me you overslept. Im really fucking sorry (20:12)_

E: _Don’t worry bout it Jon, you can just kiss me better after Wildcat kills me ;) (00:34)_

“He’s seen it, but no reply,” The Asian emphasised, watching his friend’s face closely.

“Hmmm,” Brian replied, fingers lifting to his chin in contemplation. “I believe,” he began, putting on an English accent, like a detective, “that you are being an absolute girl about the whole thing, and should just tell him you were drunk.” Evan very nearly hit him in his frustration, turning away as he threw his arms in the air, feeling ready to tear out raven locks. Brian just watched him, calm as ever.

“Stop being a fockin’ drama queen and man up dude. Jesus, anyone would have tought you let out your biggest secret or some shit. Trust me, this one weren’t a secret.” Brown eyes narrowed.

“What the fuck is that meant to mean? You guys think I want to _kiss_ Delirious? Dude’s my best friend, not to mention, a fucking dude!”

“Bloody hell, it’s not going to make you gay if you just kiss a guy. S’not like your sucking his dick or anything. Never took you as the homophobic type though bud,” came out with a bit of an edge to it. Evan spluttered.

“What, no, don’t, ahh! I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with kissing a guy, I’m just saying I’m straight! As in, into kissing girls, not guys.” Evan gestured wildly, arms flying as he attempted to emphasise his point. Brian ducked past a flailing limb, rolling his eyes at the frantic Asian, before huffing a tired sound sigh.

“Riiiiiiiiiiggghhhhttt,” Irish voice drawled, sounding fed up. “Look, just calm down, and text the dude saying it was a mistake. Delirious is chill, he’ll just take the piss outta ya, kay? Now come on, I’m starvin’.” Brian turned away, walking towards the restaurant where the others were gathering. Evan trailed after, attempting to word his message to Jon.

By the time they reached the buffet, he had finally settled on the words.

_Hey dude, was pretty smashed last night, and just seen what I sent you. Not sure why I said that, hope I didn’t freak you out, no homo or anything, k? BTW found you a present_

Evan paused, finger hovering over send, humming and hawing over whether to send it, until Brian had had enough. The phone was snatched out his hand, the paler man reading over the message before hitting send, throwing the phone back to Evan.

“Done, now hurry the fock up.” Evan twitched a bit, wondering if he should be angry at the man or not, finally deciding his friend was just being kind in his own way, by not letting the younger stew in his emotions. They entered the restaurant, Brian taking a seat next to Brock and Evan collapsed in the remaining seat between Luke and Tyler. They ordered drinks and plates, and whilst waiting for them to be delivered, Evan noticed the curious gaze coming from his right.

Luke was focused on the shorter man, only absent mindedly taking part in the conversation at the table. Dark eyes were narrowed thoughtfully, head tilted as he assessed Evan, bearded jaw moving in thought. The Canadian only managed to raise an eyebrow at the man before the plates arrived, where he was lost in the chaos of hungry males. After filling his plate, and retaking his seat, it seemed as if Cartoonz had lost interest in the other, focusing on his own food.

Yet still, that dark gaze still flicked back to him on occasion, filled with a strange curiosity that the Asian couldn’t understand, that seemed oddly specific for a reason he didn’t know. Evan wondered if Luke knew of his drunken message, but the looks didn’t seem threatening as he would expect for upsetting Jon, more as if Luke knew something he didn’t. He tilted his head in confusion, asking silently for an answer, only to get a subtle shake of the head.

Shrugging it off, he turned back to the current conversation (something about playing with Nogla), mind occasionally thinking of those electric blues.


	12. Dreams

They left dinner with their hunger sated, wandering slowly back towards the hotel. The snow had stopped falling, allowing the clouds to disperse enough to show the inky black sky. No stars could be seen, but the occasional flashing of a plane drifted overhead. The air was still bitterly cold, Evan snorting at Tyler and Luke’s complaints, both shivering madly. The tallest shoved him, grumping.

“Piss off, you Canadian asshole. Not all of us were born at sub-zero.” Evan laughed joyfully, rolling his eyes.

“Just because I’m not a pussy when it comes to a little cold.” Scotty butt in.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” he stated attempting to shove his hands inside Chrissy’s coat. “Just because you grew up with snowmen as a family, doesn’t make us pussies. It makes you a fucking weirdo.” Chrissy shoved him hard enough to make the man landed in a snow drift, setting them all off giggling.

“Sadly enough, I have to agree with him there Evan,” the woman stated. “You’re the odd man out on this deal.”

“you would have thought being Asian would make him more partial to the warm,” Marcel snickered, ducking Brock’s swatting hand.

“You racist Bitch,” Evan grinned back, flipping the man the bird. The hotel then chose to appear around the corner, the men making a break for it’s warm lobby. Evan trailed after them, still grinning madly until he felt it.

The buzz of a message had never made him feel so nervous. He wasn’t sure if it was Jon or not, but was terrified to find out. Pulling the device from his pocket, the name seemed to taunt him from the screen, making his heart race. Evan looked up, glancing at his friends, none of which had noticed his dilemma in their perusal of warming up. Upon catching Brian’s eye, the Irishman didn’t take long to guess what the issue was, gaze zeroing in on the younger’s phone as he approached. The raven-haired man shook his head, using Tyler’s large form to disappear around the corner without letting Brian see him. He wandered away until he found a darkened alcove, using it to hide from any curious looks.

His phone buzzed again, this time the notification appearing with a different name: _NoBannerForYou._

_You sneaky hoodini bitch. Don’t be a pussy and just read the damn thing, or I’ll set mamma moo on you._

Evan knew the threat was real enough, but his emotions were too tumult to feel angry at the man. Taking deep breaths in hope of calming his racing heart, he tapped on the conversation.

_Present????? I want it!!!!!_

A disbelieving huff escaped the Asian’s lips. Of course that was what Delirious focused on, the other was basically a man child. The relief that washed through Evan was strong, glad to have not lost his best friend, yet seemed to have a slightly bittersweet after taste. Which made no sense, this was literally the best scenario possible, and he could carry on as normal. He shook off the feeling, wondering if the tiring trip was getting to him, despite the day off. The emotional rollercoaster at minimum was leaving him feeling exhausted, ready to curl up in his sheets for the night already.

His phone buzzed once more.

W: _I dont know where youve pissed off too, dont really care, but well be in my room_

Shaking his head, the Canasian wandered towards the elevators. Tyler’s room was alight with chatter and music when he arrived, meaning more force that usual was required to be heard through the locked door. It was finally opened by Toonz, who grinned down at the shorter, odd look still lingering in dark eyes, yet Evan was too tired to bother questioning. Anthony immediately passed him a can of beer upon entry, which felt like an anchor as the Asian man collapsed heavily into the still free arm chair.

He sipped at it slowly, remaining even quieter than usual as the familiar noise floated around him. Brock and Mini both shot him slight concerned looks, to which he just smiled back tiredly. A yawn was stifled as he set his drink on the side table, using the now free arm to prop his head up. Before the Canadian could realise, his eyelids were sliding shut, and the noise of his friends allowed him to drift into darkness.

* * *

 

Vibrant blue flashed across his vision, swirling around him in an almost seductive dance. He watched with fascination, drawn in by the living colour, too fluent to be paint, too solid to be light. Time passed unconcernedly, a soft peace rolling over him, until a familiar and favoured sound graced his ears. Psychotic laughter entered, echoing in the surrounding darkness until it took a form of its own. It wasn’t a colour exactly, more of a shimmering of the dark background, as if the soundwaves had become visible. They danced closer, intertwining with the blue light still present, seamlessly becoming one, a picture of colour and sound.

It appealed to Evan’s very core, the man drawn to the mixture, wanting to see what it felt like, if he could touch it at all. He reached out without seeing, eyes focused on the shimmering light, still hearing that joyful noise in his ears. A smear of pink appeared in the middle as he approached, slowly taking form into what appeared to be a pair of soft looking lips, parted in time with the laughter. It only increased the pull Evan felt, now desperate to feel the apparition.

Just as his fingertips went to connect, the image faded. A far away noise began to filter in, disturbing the peace he had been in. It sounded heated, and defiant, contrasting with the pure joy that had been. It increased in volume, becoming more defined until Evan could hear the words being exchanged nearby.

“Guys, serious, quieten the fuck up, or you’ll wake him.” The British accent was easy to place, as Evan tried to remember where he was. Last he remembered he was sitting in a chair in Wildcat’s room, which would explain the gradually stiffening of his neck. His eyes remained shut, still feeling heavy with sleep.

“I don’t see how he fell asleep in the first place,” Marcel sounded exasperated. “We ain’t exactly the quietest.”

“He’s exhausted, can’t you tell?” Brock’s voice was calm as ever, almost soothing in the moment.

“We’ll it’s his own fucking fault,” Tyler grumbled. A heavy sigh was heard, before the noise of a phone being placed down. “What Cartoonz?”

“Your being irritatingly slow Wildcat,” the Southern accent stated.

“What the fuck is that meant to mean,” came back, several hissed ‘quiet’s following. Toonz just sighed.

“Evan and Jonny weren’t up gossiping that night Tyler. Christ sake, Jon would never do that to him on the night of a big panel. Dude was ridiculously upset when I told him Evan had overslept.” Tyler remained silent for a moment, before speaking up again.

“Then why?” Another sigh.

“It’s not for me to tell. It’s between them, and it is in their hands if they want to say. I ain’t gunna squeal on someone else’s secrets, especially not my brother’s or Ev’s. Now I suggest you stop being such a cunt to the poor dude.” Another pause.

“He shouldn’t have fuckin’ lied to me then,” Tyler grumbled, sounding a bit put out.

“Do you really expect any different though,” Lui said softly. “We all know how much Vanoss cares about Del’s privacy.” A few soft hums echoed in the room, before silence blanketed over them. Evan had almost drifted off again, when Nogla spoke up.

“Is t’at what you were talking to Delirious about earlier, Luke?” The Irishman sounded curious, keeping his voice on the quieter side. An odd noise came from Luke, a mix between a huff and a snort.

“Sort of,” he said slowly, as if thinking deeply about his words. “It is connected in a weird convoluted way… How’d you know I was talking to him anyway?”

“T’was the way you walked off as soon as you answered the phone. Seemed urgent, so I figured it was Jonathon.” Evan could almost hear the shrug that came from narrow shoulders.

“Jesus Christ, are you telling me Nogla has a brain?” Anthony sniggered, starting everyone giggling, with Nogla protesting. Quiet conversation eventually started up again, allowing Evan to drift back into the now dreamless abyss.


	13. Morning Thoughts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyy peeps, I'm heading home from Uni tomorrow for a few days, and won't have my laptop, so here's an update before I disappear.

A large soft object hitting his face disrupted Evan’s peaceful slumber, the jolting of his body making his stiff muscles scream in protest. Opening his eyes, he glared up at the man stood in front of him, the Brit just staring back. Tyler’s snores echoed from the bed, Evan spotting his dark hair poking out from the sheets, as the Asian turned his head, stretching.

“You sleep here too Mini?” he grunted quietly, not wanting to ‘wake the giant’. Craig grinned, wandering towards the bed.

“Nahh, nicked his room key knowing I’d be up before him.” Tyler snorted as he was poked, arm emerging in an attempt to whack the shorter. The younger YouTuber giggled, grabbing the limb and giving it a tug, only to squeal as he was pulled into the mass of sheets. “Tyler! Get off you pillock, it’s time to get up,” he giggled. Evan stayed quiet as he watched the American snuggle up to the smaller, practically yanking Craig under him, grumbling softly like a big cat purring.

The observing party caught a glimpse of those sleepy features, before they were buried in Craig’s neck, making the other giggle again. They seemed lost in their own world, so Evan decided to get his revenge.

“I’ll just leave the two of you to cuddle then, I need a shower. And unlike you guys, I’m not in the mood to share. See you later love birds.” A hotel bible flew past his head, hitting the wall with a bang.

“Fuck off, you cunt.”

“Was already on my way out,” he snarked back at Wildcat, proceeding to duck out of the door. Wandering towards the elevator, he checked his phone. _09:34._ He huffed, stretching again, and deciding to finally reply to Jon.

_You can have it when Toonz brings it back, you child._

He had reached his room and started stripping by the time the reply came through.

J: _But I want it nooooooooooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwww_   

Rolling his eyes, the Asian replied before dumping his phone to jump in the shower.

_Patience is a virtue Jon_

The hot water felt good against his aching back, tan shoulders relaxing as the steam built. Evan stood for a moment, enjoying the soothing beat of the water. Tiredly, he grabbed his shampoo, eventually coordinating his exhausted body enough to get some in his hair. Dropping the bottle with a clang, he began scrubbing the soap in, head tilted back to prevent it sliding into his eyes. He could practically feel the previous days sweat and grime being washed away, leaving him feeling clean and refreshed.

His mind drifted to the conversation he had overheard last night, wondering if the others would mention it to him. It was oddly kind of Luke to stand up for him, and even to reveal that there may have been something happening with either himself or Jon. He had to suppose the man didn’t want Tyler angry at Del, once again protecting the man he saw as a brother.

Evan assumed he’d never find out, deciding to just be happy everything was fine between himself and Jonathon. The Canasian had been so worried when he found that message, sure he would’ve finally freaked out his favourite person, but Delirious was as chill as Terroriser said he would be, and that Evan knew at heart. He had just panicked upon finding what he said. And the fact he did it in the first place, what the fuck was his drunk-self thinking? Yes, he and Jonathon flirted jokingly, like most close friends did, but to ask, not for the first time, to be kissed by the man was ridiculous. He didn’t secretly lust for his best friend, how could he when he didn’t even know what the man looks like. Not to mention he was straight, always being attracted to girls, not guys.

 _But what about that blue-eyed fan,_ his mind supplied. Thinking back to the odd man, Evan reasoned with himself. _He was just aesthetically pleasing, with those unique eyes and delicate features. It was just appreciation, not attraction._ Despite these thoughts, his blood began to run warm at the memory other the shorter, causing him to turn the water down a few degrees, attempting to calm himself, feeling the anxiety rise at his body’s reaction.

 _Easy dude, it was one nice looking guy. And he was pretty, which is fair enough, and you are young and healthy, so this is all fine._ He heaved a sigh once again, attempting to relax his now re-tensed shoulders. He left the shower, towelling off before returning to his room to change, picking his phone when he was clothed. Several messages lit up his screen, which he opened.

M: _Heyy Craig told me he woke you. Sorry for leaving you to sleep in a chair, but we didn’t really want to wake you. Do you think we can chat later?_

BB: _oii, pancakes. Hurry up if you want._

J: _wtf is a virtue? Gimme gimme gimme!_

Evan decided too just speak to Brock, taking Marcel’s advice to come down for breakfast. He only texted Delirious back as he left for the hotel restaurant.

_Google it you idiot. And bug Luke for it, not me._

A plate was waiting for him when he reached the large table, Nogla eyeing it from a chair over. Evan knocked him gently on the back of the head as he sat, digging into the lukewarm blueberry pancakes Brock had ordered him. He nodded at the elder, in both thanks and answer. A small smile came back, widening when Brian leaned over to whisper in his ear. Evan grinned at his oblivious friends, returning to his breakfast.

Luke suddenly appeared, a controlled smile on his face, dark eyes sparkling madly.

“Bitches, keep your afternoon free, I’ve got a surprise for y’all.” Evan and Tyler immediately protested.

“UNFAIR,” the taller hollered, whilst the other explained.

“We’ve got a meeting later,” he said sadly. Toonz didn’t even flinch.

“Skip it.” Warm brown met icy blue for a second, before turned back to the bearded one.

“We can’t just bail, dude,” was whined as Evan nodded in agreement, “it’s one we’ve had organised for months.”

“Don’t care. Listen to me, this is probably the most important thing I could ask you to show up for. Tell them you’re sick, or had some stupid conflict. Seriously, please,” the Southern ended, voice almost begging. That made the whole table pause, not used to the display of desperation from the stoic man. It was abnormal to say at the least, and the two-arguing exchanged another glance. Dark eyebrows raised, waiting for Tyler to give. Eventually the other slumped, sighing, leaving Evan to grin at the other.

“Ok, we’ll show. It better be a fucking good surprise though, no shitty tourist spots.” Luke almost beamed.

“Oh, trust me, _you’ll_ be thanking me for years to come,” he said cryptically. The Canadian tilted his head in question, before turning back to his breakfast. Luke walked behind him, towards an empty chair, pausing.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen your hair so flat. You look like a right nerd.” Evan twisted to glare at the taller, hand automatically rising to run through his damp hair, spiking it all up. “Ok, now y’all just look crazy.”

“Y’all,” Scotty echoed once again, earning a few eye rolls. “But seriously, you do look insane.” Tanned face just stretched into a wild grin, widening his eyes at Scot. The other made a face. “Please never do that again, it’s freaky as hell.” The others agreed, finishing breakfast with a pact to never let him do that again. Evan just laughed, looking forward to the day for once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a reminder:  
> Mooma (M) = Brock/Moo Snuckel  
> Wildcunt (W) = Tyler/Wildcat  
> No(gla) (N) = if you can't work that out, well it's Daithi de Nogla  
> Toonz (T) = Luke/Cartoonz  
> Minidick (MD) = Craig/Miniladd  
> NoBannerForYou (NBFY) = Brian/Terroriser  
> BasicBitch (BB) = Marcel/BasicallyIDoWrk  
> Luidini (L) = Lui Calibre  
> Hobobear (H) = Anthony/BigJigglyPanda  
> 407pounds (407) = Scotty/407


	14. Anticipation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sup my lovelies, I have returned with another chapter

Boston was as cold as it had been the previous night, the group grumbling about the bitter weather and they returned to the convention centre once again. Evan wandered along next to Brock, turning to question his elder friend.

“So, what you wanna talk aboot?” he said in his stereotypical Canadian accent, grinning at the other. Brock rolled his eyes, elbowing the younger.

“I was wanted to make sure you were ok. You haven’t been yourself the past few days.” Concern laced Moo’s tone, concern filled eyes fixing on his own. Evan shot him a lopsided grin.

“I’m alright, it’s just been a bit hectic. Wore me out.”

“Finally, something that tired out the great Vanoss. Thank Christ, it’s basically a Christmas miracle.” Brock’s voice was heavy with sarcasm. Evan threw an arm around him, snorting.

“If that’s the case, you’re fucked today, cause I feel fine,” the Canasian grinned bac, allowing his good mood to wash over him once more.

“Quite surprising since you slept in a chair,” Moo smiled back, before turning back to the group. “Today’s certainly going to be interesting. I mean, everyone’s in a good mood, no meetings, plus this ‘life changing’ surprise of Luke’s.” Pale finger’s waggled around the phrase. “At this rate, Delirious is going to pop up out of nowhere.” As if the other had heard him, Evan’s phone buzzed in his pocket, the younger releasing his friend to pull out the device.

“Speak of the Clown and he shall appear,” Evan muttered, opening the message.

J: _Toonz is boring he just ignores me. Bat owl is a much more amusing victim hehe_

Moo peered over his shoulder, reading the message.

“Atleast he got your name right this time.” Evan giggled, typing his reply.

_I’ll just ignore you aswell then._

“Stupid bitch doesn’t realise he should never reveal his weakness to BatOwl.” Brock stayed silent, and when Evan glanced over at his friend, he saw why. Brian was vlogging ahead, and running his hand through his hair every other step. The Canandian huffed a laugh, nudging Moo.

“Sure you don’t want to talk about your attraction to a certain vlogger, huh?” He burst out laughing when he was shoved into a snow drift, Moo growling back,

“only if you want to discuss H2OVanoss, you dick.” Despite his grumbling, he still helped pull up the lodged Asian, Brian having paused to film them.

“Mooma Brock can be seen helping the injured owlet of the snow, the youngster’s own stupidity getting him stuck,” floated over in a Steve Irwin impression, getting the Irishman flipped off by the two. “Rude bastards, don’t swear at my wonderful viewers.” The camera was turned back around. “No idea why I call them friends to be honest. Right, time again for PAX.”

The others all exchanged exasperated looks, entering the main doors as Evan’s phone buzzed again.

J: _Fuck you bitch you live for my texts_

Evan giggled again.

_Keep telling yourself that clown._

By the time lunch wafted around, Evan had managed to circle all the stands, trying out several games. They had had to drag Nogla away from a game involving kittens, bribing the taller with the idea of food, which had him running ahead of the rest of them, only to return to ask where they were going. After finding Panda, Wildcat, Four-zero and Chrissy, all pissing about with a new AC DLC they wandered to the food court area, snagging several tables.

Five minutes later, Evan was munching on a sandwich, watching Luke text frantically opposite him.

“Everything ok dude?” he questioned between bites.

“Fine,” was all the came back. Tyler leant over from the next table.

“You better not bail on this surprise, faggot, they weren’t happy me and Ev ditched on the meeting.” They had told the meeting coordinators that they had had a scheduling clash, and after some grumbling, the people had agreed to rearrange the meeting for the Friday. Luke just snorted quietly.

“It’s all going to plan fucker, just be patient.” Marcel piped up.

“how the fuck can we be patient when we don’t even know when it’s happening?” the dark skinned man protested.

“Two o’clock,” was shot back, dark eyes dancing mischievously as he grinned.

“Don’t focking tease us like t’at. We are already in t’e dark bout it all,” Nogla whined, Mini patting his shoulder like one would a small child.

“Easy Nogla, only a hour until we find out,” the Brit consoled, watching with Evan as Cartoonz’s grin widened to flash white teeth. Evan’s phone distracted him from the curiosity, Jon reappearing.

J: _Maybe. Punch Luke for me_

Evan shrugged, slightly confused at the request, but leant over the table to thump the Southerner on the bicep.

“Oii, what the fuck bitch?” the man complained.

“I was told to,” Evan replied, typing out a new message.

_Done. Why did I just do that?_

J: _Because hes a dick to me_

Evan raised an eyebrow, wondering what exactly the elder had done, but deciding not to question, instead changing the subject.

_You got any idea what his big surprise for us is?_

Instead of his own phone vibrating with a reply, Luke’s phone suddenly started pinging like mad, the man shooting Evan an unreadable look before being to type furiously on the still moving phone. With no warning, the taller stopped, reaching over to pluck the Asian’s phone out of his hand, tucking it away in a jean’s pocket.

“Mine now bitch,” Luke grumbled, going back to his own phone. Evan huffed, before returning to his sandwich. Brock broke the odd tension that settled over the table, clearing his throat before declaring,

“This is an eggscellent sandwich,” whilst raising the egg salad filled bread above his head. Several groans echoed across the group, as the man grinned proudly at his own pun.

“That was a terrible yolk,” Evan shot back cheekily, setting off a chain of terrible egg jokes. They eventually finished their lunch, Lui turning to Toonz.

“I’m eggscited for your surprise,” he squeaked, earning a swat from Tyler.

“If you cunts don’t shut the fuck up, I’ll shove an egg up your dick hole,” the man grumbled.

“Looks like we aren’t living up to Wildcat’s eggspectations,” Moo snarked back, giggling, ducking behind Brian as Luke lead them away. They ended up in a rather secluded section behind several stands, away from the main crowd. No one expect Luke seemed to know about this spot, people wandering past the small entrance without even glancing at the large group.

“We playing prop hunt?” Scotty asked looking around the small space. Luke shook his head.

“No, we just need somewhere a bit more private.” Anthony butt in.

“It this surprise an orgy, cause I haven’t got my good lube with me.” His loud laugh echoed in the gap, giggles of the others joining in.

“Sadly not, but we do have to wait a bit,” came back, Evan deciding to lean back against a wall, wondering what on Earth this surprise could be.


	15. Surprise

The next half an hour dragged by, quiet mumbles being exchanged in the group. Luke vanished twice, making them all promise to stay whilst he took a phone call, both times leaving with a frown and returning looking hopeful. Tyler began to pace, his impatience echoing in the gang, Evan finding himself tapping his foot without even meaning to. They managed another fifteen minutes before Marcel rounded on Toonz.

“Dude, what the fuck?” the shorter snapped, arms crossed. “We’ve been in this midget room for ages, and there’s been no sign of your so-called surprise. What fucking gives?” Evan watched Luke shuffle a bit, glancing at his phone once more.

“It’ll be here, there’s just been a couple problems is all,” the Southerner said warily, as if he was beginning to give up himself. Tyler spun, looking thoroughly pissed off.

“Bull fucking shit. I’ve had enough of this, it’s probably some gay crap that’s not worth it anyway.” The tallest was snarling angrily, not even flinching when dark eyes narrowed back at him.

“Shut the fuck up bitch. This, of all things, is worth it, and you’ll fucking kick yourself when you realise, if I don’t break your god damn legs first.” Evan rocked forward, calmly placing himself between the two men.

“How about we calm the fuck down, yeah?” The fighting pair just ignored him, continuing to glare at each other.

“Just you try cunt. We all know you’re just a little bitch really. We’ve seen you following Delirious around like a fucking puppy, bending to his every fucking will,” was spat back, icy blues flashing angrily. The bearded man shot forward, attempting a grab Wildcat past the Asian separating them.

“You wanna fuckin’ go? Keep talking shit about my best friend and I’ll fucking kill you, rip your goddamn throat out and shove it up your ass.” Brian moved forward, looking as if he was going to grab Tyler, only to take a step back when Evan forcibly shoved the pair apart, keeping a hand on each chest to create space.

“ALLLLRIIIIGHT, you fucks need to cool the fuck down and stop trying to murder each other,” the Canadian called out. “We are fucking friends, and we are going to damn well act like it. So, drop the shit, and chill, kay?” The taller men remained glaring for a moment, before Tyler gave into Mini tugging his jacket sleeve, snorting angrily.

“Fuck this shit, I’m out. Suck my dick faggots,” he declared, swinging towards the exit, Mini in tow. Evan shot Luke an apologetic look, before hurrying after the tall man. He ignored the accented voice calling for him to wait, eyes pinned onto the angry giant, only to pause when familiar blues flashed in his peripherals. He vaguely registered the others coming out behind him, and Craig pulling Tyler to a halt, but his main focus was now on those bright eyes, filled with a terror not unlike when Evan had first met him.

The nameless fan was stood a few feet away, now in a blue hoody and faded jeans. Freckled cheeks were paper white, eyes wide, narrow chest frozen. Pink lip caught between white teeth, looking redder than before, as if the man had been chewing on it. The small frame was shaking lightly, almost seeming to vibrate with nervous energy. Evan’s mouth began to form a reassuring smile, only to frown as the man turned and shot away into the crowd.

“Go after him,” was all Luke had to say to make the shorter dart in the same direction, worried about the strange man. He had looked ready to faint, or scream, and despite only knowing the guy for a day, Evan didn’t even think of just leaving the man be. The brown topped head was difficult to keep track of in the crowd, but the blue of his sweater made the shorter more obvious. The man was running at full pelt, shoving several people out of the way in his effort to reach the exit, the following party ignoring the protests as he struggled to keep up. He almost lost sight of the man when they reached the street, only just spotting the blue fabric trailing around the corner.

After several blocks, the shorter turned into a narrow alley, pausing to hunch over, catching his breath. Evan stopped at the entrance, leaning against the bricks to gasp for his own air, eyes still never leaving the fan. He heard the multitude of footsteps that had followed him, waving a hand at the guys to keep them back, before approaching the panicked man.

“Dude, are you ok?” A terrified squeak echoed between the buildings, blue clad one spinning to once again shoot Evan a terrified look. The Canasian took a couple of gentle steps forward, palms up in an open gesture. “Easy, it’s ok. I just wanna make sure you’re ok. You looked ready to pass out or some shit.” The man didn’t change, blue gaze still locked on Evan’s face as if the taller would suddenly attack him. At his next careful step forward, the shorter stumbled several steps back, tripping over his own feet.

In a flash, Evan was in front of him, large hands griping those slim forearms, stopping the man from falling flat on his ass on the rather disgusting looking pavement.

“Easy, easy, you’re ok. Breathe,” Evan whispered, hyper aware of the other’s now panicked breaths. Those arms twisted slightly in his grip, but he was unwilling to release the still unsteady man, a small voice at the back of his head telling him it was not the only reason. Suddenly those pink lips parted, gasped breathe emerging with the words,

“I am so sorry.”

The Canadian stiffened in shock. That voice, now louder than at the arcade, was doused in an accent so familiar he felt like punching himself for not recognising it earlier. The panicked words were an echo of his night time phone call, ringing in his head as his hands unconsciously tightened their grip. His own mouth parted, asking the question he needed the answer to.

“J-Jonathon?” he stuttered, feeling his heart pound. The man in front of him paled further (how that was possible, Evan didn’t know), squirming more in his grip.

“I’m s-sorry, it was meant to be a surprise, but-but then I panicked, and now it’s a fuckin’ mess, and you hate me,” was blurted out, brown topped head ducking to hide the now miserable face. Evan remained frozen by that voice for several moments, the shorter now tugging harder at his retrained arms.

“Fucking hell,” the Asian suddenly breathed, before yanking the stranger who wasn’t strange at all, into his own broad chest. Hands released only to allow one arm to wrap around those narrow shoulders, the other clamping around the other’s waist. Another squeak echoed from his shirt, black painted nails reaching up to curl in the Canasian’s jacket, gripping just as tight. Ducking his head, Evan tucked his face into that pale neck, breathing in the familiar scent of pizza and pine, all whilst trying to control his own shaking.

“God it’s really you. You’re actually here, you came, fuck Jon. I never… Christ, your you. How could I not realise, some shitty friend I am. Fuck, fuck, fuck…” he babbled, raising his head to press his mouth against that freckled temple, still not quite believing that it was **Delirious** before him, his best friend whom he thought he’s never see was in his arms. Stuttered breaths warmed his chest through his shirt, hands doubling their grip on him. His world had rapidly shrunk down to this dirty alley and his best friend, no thought given to the rest of his friends behind him or releasing the elder in his arms. His heart felt as if it had expanded six times, chest feeling as if it would burst with joy.

A laugh spilled out of his mouth, all the emotion bubbling over as it finally clicked that this was Jon, and he had finally met the mysterious man that he had become so close too. More laughter spilt forward as he lifted the shorter off his feet, spinning them both. That gorgeously unmistakeable laugh vibrated through the smaller body, warming Evan to the very core as his own laughter increased. He eventually placed Jon back on his feet, leaning back as hand gripped narrow shoulders, unwillingly to release the other entirely. Those amazing blues still held a slight apprehension, locking with the taller’s own brown.

“You are definitely not average looking, Del,” Evan grinned, earning himself a light pink blush that made his already struggling lungs to gasp further.

“You don’t look too bad yourself,” the other quipped back, grinning in spite of his apparent embarrassment. Their gazes remained on each other, both of them scanning the other’s face, soaking in the details.

“Fock me, it t’at Delirious?” Nogla suddenly shouted, knocking them from their little world. Evan just caught sight of Brian attempting to smack his Irish friend, but missing as the tall man had darted forward to pull Del into his own bear hug. The others decided to join in then, each taking it in turns to either hug, poke, or thump the new addition, several questions bouncing about, Evan reluctantly backing away to make room.

“How the fuck are you so short?” Tyler snorted from his place, towering above the rest.

“Fuck me, you are gorgeous.” Panda joined in, pinching Del’s cheeks, as Scotty fangirled behind him.

“Your eyes are so blue!” The Brit of the group cried, latched onto a thin arm.

“Te fans would eat you whole if t’ey caught sight of that pretty face mate, no wonder you stay hidden,” Brian complimented, circling Jon, Brock agreeing eagerly.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you dude!” Moo added.

Luke suddenly appeared next to Evan, dark eyes rolling.

“Happy surprise. Do yer recon we should save him yet?” the taller questioned, eyebrows raised at the overwhelmed gamer, only to have raven topped head shake.

“Nahh, he might as well get it all over with,” the Canasian replied, before looking up at the other. “And Luke?” Dark eyes met his own. “Best surprise ever.”


	16. At Ease

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: one mention of rape near the beginning.

When Lui finished squeaking about his new short friend, Evan managed to slide his way back next to Delirious, grinning down at the man. Jon smiled back, blue eyes sparkling now, making Evan’s heart flutter once again, the Asian brushing it off at the remaining excitement of finally meeting Jonathon. Chrissy suddenly spoke up from her place beside Simone, glancing around with a rather disgusted look on her face.

“Look, I know you’re all excited and all, but can we go somewhere that isn’t rape alley?”

“Oii, I have you know this is my favourite house,” Panda threw back, arms crossing in sassiness. “And trust me, it’s all consensual in Panda town.” The rest of them burst into laughter, brilliant and psychotic giggling echoing of the brick walls, making Evan laugh even harder, leaning on Jonathon for support as they doubled over. Every time one of them began to calm, the other would start them up again in a vicious cycle, until tears were streaming down their cheeks.

When they finally calmed, grasping each other’s shoulders with overly bright eyes, the rest were staring with mixed expressions of amusement and exasperation.

“Fucking hell,” Jiggly began. “I didn’t think I was that funny.” Jonathon let loose another giggle.

“You aren’t,” Marcel sassed. “They’re just fucking idiots. Now let’s go, I can’t feel my feet.”

“Where?” Lui piped back.

“Yeah, I’m guessing we’re not going back to the convention,” Brock added. The newest addition paled a bit, cheer fading quickly from his face as he looked towards Luke. Evan squeezed his shoulders softly, reminding his friend he was there for him, as Luke spoke up once more.

“Nope, me and Jonny are heading back to the hotel to chill, you bitches can join or bail, I frankly don’t give a shit.” Evan exchanged a nod with the taller, not even needed to speak his decision. Between PAX and Jon, he would pick the other gamer every time. The rest eventually decided to join them, and they wandered back to the hotel, where Jonathon had apparently spent the last few days avoiding them in. Evan remained by the shorter’s side as they walked, surrounded by their friends in an attempt to lower the risk of Delirious being recognised.

The two chatted away about their recent gaming experiences, giggling and nudging each other as if they had been side by side since birth, easily falling into their usual routine of bickering and insulting. Evan felt as if nothing could bring him down.

* * *

 

The last few remnants of anxiety hovered in Jonathon’s chest as he walked next to his friends. Despite the better than expected welcome, and the ease at which he seemed to click into the group, he was still worried. What if the guys changed their mind? What is someone spotted him and guessed? What if he did something stupid and Evan realised he was head over heels for the Asian man? He would have to become a shame hermit if the man found out about his feelings, not to mention he would lose Vanoss’s friendship forever.

Glancing up at the man, he still couldn’t help but smile back at that beaming tanned face. The man held no grudge for Jon’s deception or for running away, only showing him joy shining from those warm eyes, pearly whites peeking through his lips that kept drawing in Delirious’s attention. He barely noticed them arriving at the hotel, until Evan was volunteering his room, and they were piling into a couple of elevators. It was a tight squeeze, the man being wedged between Luke and Evan, Luke waggling his eyebrows the whole time. Jonathon just glared back threateningly, letting his oldest friend know if he said anything, Jonathon would not hesitate to kill him. Evan shot them both a glance, looking a tad worried, but relaxed again when Jon rolled his eyes towards Toonz. The Canadian understood their odd relationship, knowing Cartoonz was basically his older brother, and would treat him like a younger sibling.

Jon loved the older man, but they did butt heads occasionally, and Luke had a habit of spilling his secrets if he thought it was good for him, or if Jon got on his nerves enough. It wouldn’t be the first time the bearded man had told someone Jon had a crush on them, the first being his first crush since meeting the man.

Luke had still been with his sister at the time, and just starting to become close to Jon. A cute girl had just started at his work, and every day Luke had to listen to Jonathon asking for advice, daydreaming, and talking none stop about her. In the end the man had followed him to work, walked straight up to the girl, and bluntly told her she either needed to date him, or let him down, because his friend was becoming a fast annoyance. The only reason Lue was still alive was due to the girl actually being willing to go out to dinner with Jon, where they discovered they were the least compatible people on planet Earth. But it hadn’t stopped his mortification at the time, and the memory still made him squirm awkwardly to that day.

He was knocked from his memory when they arrived at Evan’s room, Brian immediately driving across the couch with a groan, only to be kicked to the floor by Craig. Brock and Scotty joined the Brit, Tyler perching in the arm chair, with Lui and Luke sitting on the TV table. Brian remained sprawled on the floor as Marcel offered the other couch to Simone and Chrissy, seating himself between the two girls. Anthony went and stuck his head in the mini fridge, Nogla flopping gracelessly across the foot of the bed.

Jonathon paused for a moment, unsure where he should go, only to be tugged onto the bed by a strong arm. Kicking off his sneakers, the man rested against the headboard, watching as Evan became distracted with wrestling Nogla, the tall Irishman squawking indignantly as the buff Asian poked him in the ribs. Heat filled his core as blue eyes caught sight of that ass, jeans pulled tightly across the smooth surface. His neck warmed when he noticed Luke waggling his eyebrows at him, beard twitching in amusement. He flipped off the other, tilting his head back to sigh.

“So Delirious,” Moo spoke up from across the room. “What made you show up? I mean, we’re happy and all, but we all thought it be years before we’d get to meet you.” He grinned back.

“Just thought I’d get it over with, ya know. I mean the sooner I saw you bitches, the sooner I could forget ‘bout it,” he quipped back cheekily, earning a light kick from Evan.

“Bull shit, you love us really,” the other grinned, earning him a snort.

“You wish Biatch. I was just tired on missing out on all the fun,” he replied, praying he wasn’t blushing. Snarking Vanoss was much easier when he couldn’t see how the shorter reacted to his flirtations.

“So you admit we’re fun.” The Canadian wasn’t giving up, poking the shorter’s socked foot, causing a light giggle to escape.

“Shuch the fuck up.” Lui burst into giggles then, almost falling off the table, only to be saved by a passing Panda, who decided to stretch out over the males on the couch.

“You’re different than we thought you be. More innocent looking, not to mention short enough to be a fucking either grader,” Scotty sassed from underneath Jiggly, grinning at Jon. The latter narrowed his eyes, baring his teeth a bit as Luke began laughing.

“You wanna fucking go Four-zero? I’ll show you short as I saw your legs off. Then you’ll be the fucking short one!” That set everyone off, his odd way with words always being a source of amusement.

“He’s feisty. Can we keep ‘im?” Brian quizzed from the floor, lazily batting the legs beside him. Luke snorted.

“Have him, make my life easier, that’s for sure,” the southerner exclaimed, ducking the pillow Jon threw at him.

“Some fucking best friend you are dick,” Jon hollered back, being distracted once again by warm brown eyes.

“Don’t worry Del, I’ll keep ya company.”

 


	17. Hormones

Evan;s POV:

Jonathon flushed at Evan’s flirtatious comment, pale cheeks turning a delightful pink as the Asian grinned over at him. He chuckled at the gaping man, causing those bright blues to narrow.

“Who the fuck said I wanted a bitch like you?” was snarked back. Evan grabbed the socked foot by his arm, dancing his fingers along the bottom in retaliation, almost getting kicked in the face when the limb started flailing madly. “G-get off, Bitch!” Jon squealed, beginning to thrash about. Evan just gripped tighter around the bony ankle, digging into the arch of Jon’s foot, causing the man to try catch him with his other foot. Luckily for Evan, he missed, hitting Daithi instead who tumbled of the bed with a shout.

“Arrrgh, you cunts!” The shout went ignored by the two, both spluttering madly with laughter. Delirious finally managed to rip his foot away, the smaller man flopping backwards to catch his breath. Evan continued chuckling at his victim, only to scream when the other launched at him, pale fingers digging immediately into his ribs. Evan squirmed, only to be straddled by Delirious, unable to coordinate his limbs long enough to throw Jonathon off. He could feel his hair becoming a mess as he tossed his head back and forth on the duvet, yelling his protests.

“No, no, n-no, no, no, n-no, no, NO,” was stuttered out. “Joooo-oon, s-stop i-it,” the Canasian whined, uselessly attempting to shove the hands away, which just quickly wriggled inside his shirt to attack his stomach. The digits were slightly cold as they danced across his abs, making him twist and buck his hips, attempting to dislodge the elder. Those pink lips just stretched into an evil grin, maniacal laughter bursting free as the smaller rose slightly to keep himself stable. Evan knew his face was getting red as he struggled to breath past the laughter, deciding to take advantage of the space he had been given.

He tensed his stomach, glad he went to the gym often enough to make sit ups easy, and proceeded to shove Jonathon back, finally yanking those _evil_ hands out from under his top. He attempted to pin the smaller, only to find it rather difficult to maintain a hold on those thin wrists, the other proving to be a slippery bitch to get hold of.

“Stay still you shit,” he growled playfully, watching blue eyes narrow cheekily.

“NEVER,” was declared, the man suddenly throwing his weight at the Asian, causing them to roll back, Jonathon straddling him once again. Evan eventually let his friend capture his wrists, the shorter sitting up grinning proudly. “Gotcha Bitch,” he announced loudly from his perch, seemingly not noticing the way his firm backside ground down against Evan’s crotch in his excitement. Evan struggled with his own excitement in that moment, freezing as panic and arousal flooded his body. _Fuck, fuck, fuck, don’t move Jon, please,_ he begged mentally, holding his breath whilst he focused on keeping his blood from rushing south. But instead of obeying his silent wishes, the elder began to lean down, rocking his ass further as concern began to fill those wonderful blues, pink lip being chewed on in worry. The sight sent an urge to capture those lips between his own flooding through Evan’s senses, making the air catch in his chest, his own mouth parting to compensate.

“Jesus you two, if your gunna fuck, at least wait until we’re not in the room.” The British accent shocked them out of their tense little moment, Jon rolling off Evan’s lap, leaving the Canadian to breathe a sigh of relief.

“I dunno, looked hot to me,” Simone smirked, snickering at Marcel’s betrayed look. Nobody seemed to notice Evan’s distress, to his appreciation.

“I agree, not to mention it be a shipper’s dream come true,” Chrissy added, gazing at them both appreciatively. Brian spoke up from the floor.

“Yer, but who would top?”

“Evan,” Toonz shot back, earning his a few surprised looks, plus an angry glare.

“Go fuck yourself Cartoonz,” Jon hissed grumpily, earning a chuckled from his friend.

“Shut up, we all know you’re a little bitch,” was sassed back. Vanoss mostly ignored the bickering, imagining random scenes for horror movies and that one time he accidently saw his dad naked, in an attempt to get his dick to _calm the fuck down_ whilst simultaneously having a mental breakdown.

 _Chill the fuck out, getting turned on whilst your best friend is basically grinding on you is normal, it’s just your body responding to stimulation_ , he reasoned, attempting to calm his racing heart. A rather Brock like voice spoke up from the back of his mind. **_But wanting to kiss him is not explained by that._** The Canadian cursed the voice, before replying. _It was just hormones, nothing more._ The voice returned once more. **_You can’t blame everything on hormones, you aren’t a horny and desperate teenager anymore._** He decided to ignore that particular comment, sitting up to find Brock himself staring at him, asking if he was ok without words.

Continuing to ignore the main conversation, which had switched to who was the biggest weenie, Evan just shrugged, giving himself a bit of a shake. Moo’s eyebrows rose, before a knowing look crossed his face, mixed with a bit of pity. Evan rose both brows in return, questioning the man, before a knock at the door stopped everything. Everyone turned, Tyler springing to his feet.

“Woo, pizza time bitches!” the tall man yelled, going to answer the door. Brown eyes glanced around and, upon seeing the other’s confusion, assumed Wildcat had just taken it upon himself to order pizza for them all. The man returned with several boxes plus a crate of beer in his arms, dumping it on the table, straight away shoving a slice in his mouth. Jon suddenly bounced off the bed, squealing.

“Fuck yeah, pizza!” Evan couldn’t help but watch fondly as the other yanked all the boxes open, grabbing a slice from each in childish excitement. He returned to the bed, small hands dipping with grease whilst struggling to hold all he had obtained. Brock was shoving a napkin in the man’s lap before he even noticed the liquid dripping onto his jeans. “Fanks Moo,” Jonathon mumbled past a mouthful of pizza, spraying crumbs everywhere. Evan shot him a look.

“Dude, can you not get half chewed food in my bed?” he questioned, rolling his eyes at the shaking head he got back as he rose to get his own food. Grabbing a couple of slices of pepperoni on a napkin, the cracked open a beer, downing half of it in one go, catching sight of Brock’s slight disapproving look as he lowered it. Sticking his tongue out at the other, Evan returned to the bed, propping himself on the headboard, and digging into the warm food. The food and alcohol seemed to warm his very soul, helping him relax and push the previous incidence to the back of his mind.

The conversation calmed as they all began eating, several separate themes going on between smaller groups. Evan glanced at Jon chatting away to the two Irishmen on the floor, before rising to excuse himself the bathroom. After relieving himself, he turned to the sink and mirror. Tanned cheeks were still flushed red, and his hair looked like a bird’s nest. Splashing some cool water on his face, he ran a damn hand through raven locks, organising them back into their fauxhawk, before taking a minute to just breathe. Staring at his own reflection, he frowned, watching the image mirror him, then heaved a sigh.

“You’re an idiot,” he mumbled, turning away to leave. Opening the door, he almost ran into Brock, who was stood the other side, arms crossed. “If you want to get in, you gotta let me out,” Evan stated. His friend didn’t budge an inch, keeping him trapped.

“What happened?” The question immediately put the Canasian back on edge, brown eyes glancing to the corner which separated the two from the bedroom. Mooo didn’t respond to his panic, other than raising that brow again.

“Nothing,” Evan stated, wincing at the defensiveness of his tone. Brock would defiantly notice. But instead of impatience at his obvious lie, Moo’s face just softened, taking on the previous look of knowledge and pity. The other gamer sighed gently, reaching up to pat Evan’s shoulder, before surprising the younger with his next words.

“It’s normal Ev, don't over think it. But also try not to fight it, more good could come from this than you know.” He left the Asian gaping, ducking around him into the bathroom. Evan felt a bit dazed. _What the hell did that mean?_


	18. Sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just want to say, thank you for everything. you have all been so kind in the comments, and they all make me smile like an idiot, so thanks.

Jonathon’s POV:

Cartoonz hadn’t stopped staring at him with that stupid grin on that stupid bearded face, since Evan had left for the bathroom. Dark eyes just danced in amusement at his returning glare, grin widening when Brian noticed. It only took a couple more minutes before Jonathon snapped “Fuck off,” at the taller, surprising the rest.

“Do you two always communicate telepathically, or has somet’ing happened t’at we don’t know ‘bout?” The shorter Irishman inquired, stealing the last slice of half eaten pizza off Brock’s plate. The other just huffed a sigh, dumping his now empty plate on the side, before heading towards the bathroom. Cartoonz spoke up to answer.

“Only when Delirious is being a stupid bitch.” Jon let out an indignant noise at that.

“Fuck you, I’m being the s-smart one.” He had to bite his tongue from going further, not wanting to accidently ramble out his issue. Luke finished his beer, raising an eyebrow at his friend.

“No, you’re being a dumb little shit,” the other sassed back.

“You better shut your damn mouth, or I’ll shut it for you,” Jon threatened back, glad that Luke knew him well enough to hear the slight stress in his tone.

“I ain’t gunna say shit, I’m just helping the situation.” Dark eyes rolled.

“You better fucking not,” the younger grumbled back. “And it don’t need no fucking help, everything’s going just fine.” The taller snorted at that, opening his mouth to counter.

“You guys wanna tell us what the fuck you’re on about?” Tyler interjected, looking confused.

“Nope” came back simultaneously from the two men, the bed suddenly sinking next to Delirious as Evan returned. The buff Canadian looked more confused than the rest of the room, which seemed odd considering the man had missed most of the conversation. Tyler also noticed, quizzing the man.

“And what the fuck’s up with you? You look like you’ve found a fucking spaceship full of homeless people fucking or some shit in the bathroom.” The crew shot the man weird looks for his strange analogy, who just shrugged in explanation. Evan cleared his throat, face relaxing into a more neutral expression.

“No spaceships, just thought of something is all.” Wildcat huffed at the response, obviously not finding it interesting enough, and Jon exchanged a grin with his friend. Brown eyes rolled, making a giggle escape the older, the Asian huffing a breathy laugh in response (and didn’t that just do things to Jon that he didn’t want to admit). Watching that handsome face just brought Jon’s thoughts back to the reason Cartoonz was staring at him in the first place.

Luke thought, for some crazy reason, that Jonathon was infatuated with Vanoss, which was absolutely ridiculous. Evan was just Jon’s best friend, a gamer the man admired beyond all others, which made complete sense. Not only was the Canasian brilliant at what he did, hence why Vanoss had such a large following, but he was also exactly the type of person Jonathon could get on with. The man saw the funny side of the elder’s craziness, and wasn’t afraid to take the piss out of or counter him.

In games, the Canadian would laugh at and with him, joking about Delirious slurred words and mispronunciations, taking every opportunity to wind the masked gamer up into a fit of protest or laughter. They would team up to do the most ridiculous skits or stunts, or smack talk when they were opposed. And behind the gaming front, when it was just the two of them, Evan would show his softer side, silently listening to those mixed sentences before reassuring Jonathon everything would be ok to help calm the other’s anxiety. He knew Jon had a horrendous sleep pattern, yet would always reply to his messages, never complaining if they arrived at four in the morning or two in the afternoon (usually some crappy meme). He had never pressured Jon about meeting him, always supporting the elder in his decision to stay anonymous, even defending him against the other’s if they got to be too much. The younger was kind, funny, and amazing, plus even managed to be drop-dead gorgeous.

Which was why Delirious could help but develop a massive man crush on Evan, not that he would ever admit it, particularly to Luke. He knew his brother had guessed all, and got Jon was bullshitting whenever he denied it, but the shorter couldn’t help lying about it anymore than he could help wanting the Asian. The dude was basically perfect in Jon’s eyes, and their closeness had turned his admiration/celebrity crush into a full blown ‘I’m practically in love with my best friend’ cliché crush. And following the rules of that cliché, Jonathon kept it a secret for a good reason in his eyes.

No way in the darkest depth of hell was he risking losing Vanoss over this. For one, the man was wayyyyyyyyyyyyy too perfect for a crazy person like him, hell he was lucky that Evan wanted to be his friend. Most people ran at the first sound of his laugh. Not to mention, Evan was as straight as a…. as a straight thing, he didn’t know, he wasn’t a dictionary. The dude would most likely freak if Jon admitted his feelings, and that was the last thing he wanted.

So, while it was a shame that he could never have any more from his best friend (who wouldn’t be upset by not being able to get to know that tanned buffness more), Jon accepted he was lucky to have what he did with the younger, and that wanting more was just nothing more than a fantasy to help get him off at night.

He was brought back to the present when Panda began twerking, making Scotty choke on his beer when Chrissy slapped that ass, the other’s roaring with laughter. Evan was chuckling beside him, looking more relaxed than previously, only occasionally frowning at Brock (god knows when he came back). Jon stretched, flopping on his side, sticking his legs across the Canasian’s lap. He received an exasperated roll of those warm eyes, before a hand came to rest on his ankle, the heat of the other man soaking through his jeans leg. He yanked a pillow under his head to prop it up so he could still see the others.

The laughter continued for what seemed like hours, conversation flowing freely, Delirious loving every minute of it. He finally saw what he had been missing all these years he had been hiding away, the chance to actually enjoy the company of his friends and the hilarity that seemed to double in their presence.

Everyone was the same as they were online, yet closer somehow, with Terroriser leaning against Moo’s legs, over whom which Panda and Four-Zero where play fighting (Jiggly had taken Mini’s seat when the youngest had gone to beat Wildcat with a cushion, only to stay by the tall man’s side). Marcel had both Simone and Chrissy leaning against his sides, his arms resting along the back of their shared sofa, chatting to Lui who was still perched on the table next to them. Craig was flopped sideways across Tyler, poking Nogla with one foot where the Irishman remained sprawled on the floor. The atmosphere was warm and relaxed, and when that strong hand began rubbing softly on the aches in his foot, Jonathon couldn’t help but doze off.

 

“Delirious, wake up,” A hand shook his shoulder, the blue-eyed gamer groaning in response, digging his head further into the pillow. There was noise around him, but his sleep heavy brain kept it fuzzed. The voice repeated itself, Jon eventually recognising it as Cartoonz’s. He grumbled once more, swatting at the hand, praying for the man to leave him to sleep. _Fucker probably broke into my house again,_ he thought as a softer voice cut in.

“Dude, let him sleep, I don’t mind.” The tone was familiar and soothing, Jon drifting further back into the darkness as he silently agreed with his saviour. “It’s not like he takes up much room.” Cartoonz hummed, hand retracting from the younger’s shoulder.

“You sure?” His friend sounded unsure. “I can always drag him.” The voice returned once again.

“I’m sure, now piss off. I wanna go to bed.” The words were more affectionate that angry, firm in their decision. Del knew his brother had left when after a moment he heard that sigh and footsteps, followed by a door shutting. He vaguely registered a soft snort, and the noise of someone moving about the room, the sound lulling him back to sleep. The bed dipping behind him as a warm presence settled next to him was barely noticed, blankets being laid over his prone form as he left the land of the conscious once more.


	19. Wake Up Company

 

**Jonathon’s POV:**

It was warm to a point where he was on the verge of sweating, yet still oddly comfortable. He was slowly drifting back into consciousness, not really willing to leave the peaceful dreamless darkness he had been in. Jonathon usually found himself in rather odd positions when he woke up, with an arm or leg twisted in such a way it would eventually become painful enough to wake up and move, but this time he was happily curled around what felt like a heater, head resting on a firm surface that was moving slightly. His mouth was wedged open by a harder spot, and he could feel the drool dribbling from the orifice. He was wrapped up tightly in what he assumed was the duvet, the pressure reminding him of when his mother used to tuck him into bed after a bad dream.

Jon didn’t have the energy or the will to move, remaining where he was as he drifted in and out of sleep, enjoying the warm breeze that ruffed his hair occasionally. His duvet suddenly shifted slightly, tightening around him to pull him closer to his pillow, the man grumbling slightly in protest of it disturbing him. His warm breeze huffed in response, the source suddenly pressing against the crown of his head, hot and soft.

He was drifting back off when he realised, body freezing with the realisation, mind shooting awake. _Bedding can’t move,_ he thought, eyes flying open to see a tanned neck poking out of a black shirt, cut off by a strong jaw line. _What the FUCK?!_ He shot back, thought exiting his mouth, voice slurred with sleep as he escaped his wrappings. Not even thinking, he nearly fell of the side of the bed, before a warm hand wrapped around his forearm, yanking him away from the edge.

Blue eyes darted around frantically, looking for an escape route, before suddenly colliding with familiar brown, wide with their own shock. He scanned Evan’s face, the Asian looking highly confused in his half-awake state, with a hint of worry.

“What the actual fuck are you doing here?” Jon breathed, panic filling his very soul. He had slept in the same bed with Evan Fucking Fong. Hell, he had been cuddling and drooling on the man, he realised, mortification growing as he spotted the damp spot on the other’s shirt shoulder. Evan just blinked, looking adorably confused and sleep ruffled, dark hair mussed from the pillow.

“This is my room,” he croaked, voice hoarse with sleep, hand still not releasing Jon’s arm. “You fell asleep here last night, and I told Luke to leave you cause it was late, and I would sleep on the couch.” Jon didn’t relax, eyes remaining wide as he stared at his best friend. The younger man shifted a bit under his panicked gazed, carrying on. “I must have fallen asleep on the bed without realising… Sorry, I didn’t mean to freak you out or anything. No homo, yeah?” The last bit was an attempted joke, lips quirking at the corner.

Delirious snorted at that, finally untensing and flopping on his back as his arm was let go of. He huffed out a breath, eyes sliding shut as he groaned.

“Fucking hell, I thought I’d got drunk and gone home with some fuckin’ randomer or some shit again, like a horny fucking teenager.” Evan giggled at his confession, blue eyes opening to glare at his companion. “What bitch?”

“Should’ve know you were an exslut,” the man snarked, eye’s dancing with amusement. Jon growled, sitting up and grabbing a pillow, attacking the Canadian, the other yelling in protest.

“Shuch your face!” Jon shouted, dodging flailing hands to hit that stupid smug face. The pillow was yanked from his hands, and thrown across the room, large hand batting his chest in an effort to keep him away. “As if you didn’t do it too,” Jon continued, poking a finger at that ridiculously comfy pectoral. Evan just carried on chuckling, the sound setting off Delirious automatically, leaving them both sprawled across the bed laughing like a couple of idiots. They eventually stopped, remaining in place and enjoying the comfortable silence. Evan shifted, his arm pressing against the elders, leaving Jon fighting the instinct to grab the other’s hand, grip on and never let go.

The door opening disturbed his thought, Luke appearing around the corner, eyebrow raising immediately at the sight of them. They silently stared back, before Evan broke the peace.

“I’m gunna call security on you if you keep breaking in here,” he stated, making Jon stare at him, curious as to when Luke had previously let himself in. The taller snorted, crossing his arms.

“You wouldn’t dare bitch. Now are you two love birds gunna get up, or am I going to have kick your asses?” Evan just flipped off the man, whilst Jon glared, panic building once more as dark eyes rolled at him. “Get up and go shower Del, you look like a hobo,” he told him, turning to leave as Jon checked himself. He had to admit, his brother was right. He was still in the previous days clothes, ruffled and creased, and his hair was a tangled mess that caught on his fingers. Scrubbing at the dried drool on his cheek, he rolled from the bed, stretching as he stood, taking a moment to scratch his chest. Turning, he found Evan staring at him, and odd look in the younger’s eyes that he couldn’t quite place.

Jon rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, shuffling slightly under the gaze.

“Imma gunna go shower and stuff…” he mumbled, Evan seeming to snap back to reality. “Thanks for letting me sleep here and shit.” The Canasian smiled softly.

“No problem man, sorry for freaking you out. Meet you at breakfast?” Jon nodded rapidly, before turning to leave, praying it didn’t look like he was running away. Closing the door carefully, he strode towards the elevator, only to find Cartoonz leaning next to the doors, arms still crossed with a knowing look on his face. Jonathon just groaned, knowing he was in for it.

**Evan’s POV:**

When the door closed, he collapsed back onto the bed with a sigh, hands scrubbing at his face, attempting to think when he had decided to sleep next to his best friend. The Asian could remember getting changed, careful to be quiet as to not disturb the sleeping man, before perching on the side of the bed to observe the other. He couldn’t help but stare, it hitting him again that this was really his best friend in front of him, the one person he wanted to see more than anyone else. The man was everything yet nothing like he had imagined, in a way, so much better than he could’ve asked for. And that laugh sounded so much better when it didn’t come through a microphone, the noise almost addicting in its quality.

He must have fallen asleep then, not really remembering anything else until he had been woken by the comfortable warmth in his arms rocketing away. Trying not to feel disappointed at not being awake to experience the closeness, he turned away from the bed, hands going to yank his shirt off. The shoulder was damp where Delirious’s head had lain, the elder having probably dribbled on him, but Evan couldn’t bring himself to care. He hadn’t slept that well in months, a bit of drool or no. Shaking away the thought, he turned back to the task at hand, hopping in the shower once he was unclothed, hurriedly washing himself, eager to spend some more time with his friend.

The Canadian didn’t dare think deeply into his excitement, merely blaming in on the fact he could finally spend some face to face time with the elder as he clambered out of the shower. It only took him about five minutes to finish getting ready, remembering to fix his hair and checking himself an extra time in the mirror for no particular reason. He grabbed his phone, ignoring his slightly shaking hands as he laced up his Vans. He double checked he had everything, scanning his reflection once more, before leaving to head downstairs, humming as he went. The elevator seemed slower than normal, it’s occupant bounce on his heels in impatience, striding quickly once the doors opened. _Today is going to be epic._


	20. Breakfast

**Evan’s POV:**

He almost ran into Brian in the doorway of the restaurant, the Irishman coming from the direction of the bathroom, grinning in hello before proceeding to drag Evan to their usual table. Their arrival was announced by the elder, who called out,

“Lover boy has finally decided to join us,” before shoving Evan in one of the remaining chairs, a bowl of cereal and a plate of toast already waiting for him. The Asian grunted upon impact with the seat, glaring at the gamer who returned to his seat next to Brock. Panda let out a loud laugh, causing Scotty to snort into his pancakes, Chrissy whacking him on the back as he began to choke. Simone turned to Evan, face kind as ever.

“How’d you sleep Evan?” she asked softly, Marcel butting in before he could even open his mouth to answer.

“Probably up fucking Delirious all night,” the man sassed, earning himself a slap on the arm. “What, tell me I’m wrong?!” he protested.

“You’re wrong,” the Canadian shot back, narrowing his eyes at Marcel. He received a raised eyebrow in return, the other man looking highly unimpressed. Brock, ever the peace keeper, piped up then.

“Can we just eat our breakfast before it’s thrown in someone’s face please?” The other two stared each other down for a moment, before grudgingly turning back to their food. Evan was just starting on his cereal when Jon and Luke appeared in the doorway, the shorter bright red and looking exasperated, taller laughing hysterically. Upon catching his eye, Jon shot towards Evan, practically diving into the chair next to the Canasian.

“Vaaaaanooooosssss, Cartoonz is bullyin’ me,” the shorter whined, peering around Evan’s shoulder to glare at the other man. Toonz took the last seat opposite them, snorting at his friend.

“Stop being such a pussy,” the Southerner stated, ordering himself and the younger some breakfast. Jonathon stuck his tongue out, Evan faltering at the ridiculously cute expression the smaller man was making. Sark and Seananners gazed at the blue-eyed man, seeming slightly confused by what they saw in front on them, exchanging a glance.

“So you’re Delirious, huh?” Adam questioned, earning himself an awkward grin.

“Hi, Nanners.” A pale hand raised in a wave, before being tucked into that blue baggy hoody. Sark joined in.

“You can’t be. Delirious is some manic, not a cute and innocent little dude.” Cherry pink lips pulled back, white teeth flashing as Jon gave a feral grin, send a very strange thrill though Evan when he spotted the wild look in those blue eyes. His heart started to hammer when that psychotic laugh burst from the man, the shorter suiting the insane look a bit too well, in Evan’s opinion. The two eldest of the group grinned, nodding in approval at their newest arrival. “Ok, I can accept it. No one else on this planet laughs like that.”

The table broke into chuckles, pancakes arriving for the still giggling man and Toonz. As soon as the plate touched down next to Evan’s, half the blueberries were transferred into the Asian’s cereal, replaced quickly by a slice of toast. Neither man spoke as they swapped foods, going straight back to eating once the deal was done. Only the hairs raising on the back of Evan’s neck made him look up again, every other set of eyes pinned on himself and Delirious.

He turned to Jonathon, the man looking up from his meal with a bemused look, a bit of pancake hanging from his mouth. The Canadian giggled a bit, before tilting his head towards the others, who were still staring. The elder of the two frowned at the group, slurping up the food, and chewing on it thoughtfully. Swallowing, Jon opened his mouth.

“What?” Evan snorted, amused by the other’s obliviousness, as the rest gaped at the pair.

“Are you sure you two haven’t met before?” Craig questioned. “Or started living together or some shit?” Jonathon just looked confused as Evan dropped his head into his hands, bracing himself for the inevitable teasing.

“Ummmm, noooooooo,” Jonathon replied. “The fuck you on about Mini?”

“I’m on about the food sharing. You looked like a fucking married couple.” Evan shot Craig a look, not managing to tell his companion to drop the subject before an answer came.

“What? Vanoss loves blueberries, and I love food,” Jon began, only to be cut off by Nogla.

“Evan loves blueberries?” The tall man sounded confused, like it was news to him. Evan frowned, confused.

“You guys literally ordered me blueberry pancakes the other day,” he stated, only to receive a shrug.

“Well yeah, cause t’ey’re nice. Not cause we knew you liked t’em.”

“I did,” Brock protested, only to be nudged by Brian.

“Only cause you’re t’e mam of t’e group.”

“Does that make you the dad?” Tyler sassed, earning him a Cheerio to the forehead, which he picked up and ate. Evan sighed fondly, rolling his eyes.

“You lot are fucking nuts,” he stated, shoving another spoonful in his mouth.

“And you’re friends with us,” Lui squeaked, chuckling into his bacon, leaning over Tyler to steal David’s coffee. The Irishman protested almost hitting the American in the face in his efforts to retrieve the mug. Craig spotted the thunder in Tyler’s face, quickly yanking Nogla back into his seat before he could be castrated with the fork in Tyler’s hand.

“See, now t’at’s normal,” Brian stated with a grin. “None of t’at lovey-dovey shit.” Jon’s mouth opened once more, but Evan just rested a hand on his shoulder shaking his head at the curious look he receive.

“There’s no point, they won’t listen.” The smaller tilted his head, almost puppy like, before shrugging.

“Ok then. Can I have the rest of your toast?” Evan could help but laugh, head tilting back in his joy. He handed the slice over to the giggling man, who immediately shoved the whole thing in his mouth, cheeks bulging. Dark eyes rolled from across the table, sharing an exasperated look with Evan, before turning back to his own meal.

They soon finished their meal, several people returning to their rooms to grab jackets and lanyards. Jon followed Evan, biting his lip when Evan asked him if he was ready.

“Yeah, sort of…” he mumbled, Evan frowning at the smaller’s quietness.

“You ok dude?” he questioned, hand coming up to rest on that narrow shoulder. Sky blue eyes glanced at him, before dropping again, the man shuffling. “Jon?”

“It’s just that….” Quiet voice started. “Shit, sorry, this is stupid.”

“I find that hard to believe, considering you thought coming here was stupid idea, and it has been my favourite,” Evan stated calmly, bending in an effort to catch electric blue. “Del, talk to me. You know I won’t judge.”

“I know,” the other sighed, seeming to steel himself. “It’s just I can’t hang out with you guys. Knowing my luck, someone will notice, and make the connection, or I’ll laugh to loud and be recognised. And despite how much I want to spend the day with you and enjoyed finally meeting you, I’m just not ready to go public.” Pink lip was captured between those white teeth, eyes big and sad. And Evan, despite his own disappointment, couldn’t bear to see Jon so sad.

“Hey, it’s ok,” he murmured, hand shifting to lift his chin. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, yeah? The guys won’t mind, god knows we never all stay together at these things. If you want you can just meet us occasionally, or for lunch, or even not at all.” His thumb started stroking that freckled cheek without his consent, but Evan couldn’t bring himself to care as a small smile appeared.

“Oh, I’ll be meeting you alright. I’ll probably stalk you around all day, just keep my distance.” Evan grinned.

“Sounds like a plan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyy, I put this at the end, mainly because I don't know how long it would be. I just wanna thank you all for all your support. Every comment I get makes me grin like an idiot, and I would thank you all individually, but there's a tad to many of you. You are all so sweet and kind, and make me want to keep posting just for you guys. I should have another chapter up tomorrow, I know they aren't super long, but I'm not the best at typing quickly, or ideas.  
> So yeah, All the love to you wonderful people xxxxx


	21. Panic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Olo, Bold is for the group chat, which is on a different app to the text messages. TW: Panic Attack

Chapter 21:

**Evan’s POV:**

They went down to meet the others in the lobby, only to find Luke had already cornered the others to explain why Jonathon couldn’t hang out with them. A couple of the guys grumbled jokingly, Delirious not hesitating as he told them to fuck off, making Evan grin down at the man by his side who gave him one back. They wandered towards the convention centre, discussing the plan for that day, before stopping a block out where the crowds were lighter.

“You gunna be ok, man?” Evan queried, catching those nervous blue eyes. A lopsided smile came back, seeming a tad unsure.

“I should be, it’s not as if I haven’t managed these past few days. But this time I’ve got more than one person I can stalk,” Jon quipped confidently. Evan tilted his head slightly, scanning the man. It was obvious there was still some worry mixed with blue, and those black painted nails were gripping his hoodie sleeves quite tightly. The Canadian momentarily considered just dragging the shorter back to the hotel, and spending some time with him there.

“Jesus you two, can ye hurry te fock up?” Brian interrupted, knocking Evan back into reality, if only to glare at the man. Jon snorted, shrugging his shoulders.

“Fight me Terroriser.”

“Don’t focking tempt me,” the Irishman replied, straightening up to tower above Jon, grinning down at the smaller. Evan was just about to step between the two when Luke slapped them both on the upside of the head.

“Stop fucking about and let’s go,” the bearded one stated, turning to stride of. The Canasian exchanged a glance with Jon, before they all finally moved off.

True to his word, the other stayed close, his blue hoodie and bright eyes easy to spot whenever Evan looked, which he struggled to stop doing at first. It wasn’t until Brock nudged him, knowing looking in his eyes, did the younger managed to reduce his check-ups. He eventually relaxed into the morning, catching Delirious’s eye or making a face at him whenever something amusing happened. It was during those times that he found himself smiling like an idiot as the soft giggles nearby, just a smidge disappointed he couldn’t hear it in full blow.

They gathered together for lunch, which consisted of burgers and hotdogs from a vendor down the street. Jon managed to smear mustard in his eyebrow, leaving Evan in fits of laugher along with the rest, Wildcat managing to choke on his burger in the middle of wheezing. Craig thumped the taller man on the back, who proceeded to spray them all in half chewed food. After groaning at Tyler, and wiping themselves clean, the crew proceeded back to the centre. They only managed to see a few stalls before the tallest was dragging Evan away for their rearranged meeting, only giving the Asian a chance to shoot their trail a quick apologetic look before he was pulled away.

Tyler almost shoved him into the door in his haste, Evan grunting slightly as he stumbled, grinning awkwardly at the expectant faces. They started the meeting quickly, and it turned out to be slightly interesting, but still not enough to stop him day dreaming occasionally. His companion looked equally as bored, texting underneath the desk. Evan’s own phone buzzed a couple times, and he hooked it out.

_1 message(s) from The Weenie Squad_

_1 message(s) from Jonathon_

He huffed at the group message when he opened if, finding it was from Tyler.

**FineWine: can someone save us? This meeting if fucking boring, and i’d rather shove a pineapple up my dick than be here**

Before Evan could switch apps, another message popped up

**DarthVaderDePotNoodle: Nope, we’re busy**

Tyler huffed angrily, earning himself a couple looks which the taller ignored. Evan just went back to his phone.

J: _hrkp_

Evan frowned, wording if his friend had meant to send that or just pocket messaged (it wouldn’t be the first time). The meeting finished ten minutes later, both men escaping quickly in order to hunt down the group. The shorter pulled his phone out again, messaging the group chat once more.

**AsianPersuasion: where you guys at?**

The reply was quick.

**Pedobear: COD**

The Canadian reported the result to Tyler, who immediately carved a path through the crowds, Evan following close behind. When they finally spotted the group huddled by the rather impressive display, he couldn’t help but scan the surrounding crowd for familiar blue, frowning when he couldn’t find it.

“What happened?” Only the lack of Wildcat’s swears made him look back at the group, all looking worried, a few eyes focused on himself. He caught site of Luke, a couple of feet away, phone in hand and looking frantic. Looking back at the group, it suddenly hit him, panic and anger flaring in his chest.

“Where’s Delirious?” He practically growled, Brock flinching back slightly from where he was approaching him. No one answered, Luke finally turning back, face twisted with worry. “Where is Jonathon?”

He was shaking in panic, the lack of answer making him clench his fists, shoulders tensing. Nogla suddenly appeared, panting slightly.

“I can’t see ‘im anywhere, but t’ere’s a lot of focking people here.” Evan spun towards Toonz, heart pounding.

“He’s having an attack, isn’t he?” The elder just nodded, causing the Asian’s emotions to spike. “Fuck fuck, FUCK,” he snarled, beginning to pace. “How could you fucking lose him?” He swung a fist at the stand next to him, needing an outlet, only to be yanked back.

“Calm the fock down, t’is aint helping.” Brian spoke whilst pulling him back with Tyler, the Irishman seeming to be the only calm one. “Look, we’ll split up and search. T’ere’s enough of us to cover this whole place, so pick a section and go.”

“Put your phone’s on loud as well,” Brock added. They soon divided, Evan choosing to return to the last section he had seen his friend. He practically sprinted there, standing on tiptoes and craning his head, hoping for any glance of the man. Every light brown head set his heart racing further, yet none belonged to the person he wanted to find. He travelled further, looking in every nook and cranny he could find, even checking the nearby restroom. The longer Delirious remained elusive, the worse Evan panicked. Anything could’ve happened to the other. What if he got recognised? What if people tried to crowd him? What is someone had hurt him? The man could potentially hurt himself in his panic.

He ran into Panda at one point, who was searching the next section, but barely gave the man a chance to speak once he had reported there was still no sign. Anthony tried to call after him, but Evan paid him no mind, focused completely on the task at hand. Half an hour of frantic searching later, his phone pinged loudly, the Canasian nearly dropping it in his rush to yank it out of his pocket. It was the group chat again.

**Y’all: Got him. Outside, south side of building.**

Evan shot off towards the exit, seeing Panda catching up in his peripherals. By the time they got outside and rounded the building, Brock had already arrived, hand rubbing the back of the small form that was hanging off Luke’s side. _Jonathon._ Evan couldn’t help but rush over, grabbing the pale face gently between his palms, turning it carefully whilst he scanned for injuries. The others began to arrive, Chrissy shouting in her relief, but it didn’t matter to Evan. All that mattered was the person in front of him, who was looking at him with a guilty expression.

“I’m alright, Ev,” that beautiful voice told him, Canadian man releasing his face to pull the American into his arms, squeezing tightly. Delirious was still trembling, burying his face in the taller’s shoulder as his chest moved in a purposeful fashion, Evan choosing to press his face in that soft brown hair, inhaling the familiar scent of hotel shampoo. A quiet “sorry” made him shake his head, still not releasing the other gamer.

“Don’t you dare be sorry, Jonathon whatever your last name is,” he replied.


	22. Cuddles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did anyone see Delirious's collab and the Rynx music video? #squeal

**Jonathon’s POV:**

He snorted into Evan’s collarbone, shaking his head against the firm surface as he giggled shakily. The taller huffed back, shift his chin to rest on top on Jon’s head.

“What, you won’t tell me,” the Asian complained softly, no real anger in his voice.

“Gotta keep some secrets,” he mumbled back, relaxing further into the embrace, feeling safe enough to calm down. They remained still for a few minutes, before Brian cleared his throat.

“Uhhhh, what just happened?” the other questioned, Evan stiffening above him as Jon sighed, pulling away to give that tanned face a look to say it was alright. A black eyebrow raised in question, to which he nodded, taking a step back to turn towards the Irishman. The blue gaze meeting his own was only curious, but the lack of judgement still didn’t put Jon at ease. He hesitated, hands fisting in his hoodie sleeves without him realising, a nervous tick of his Luke had told him about. It was only when a warm arm pressed against his own did he gather the courage.

“I-I’ve got anxiety. When I lose you guys, I freaked and then people started looking at me and it got worse…” he trailed off, rubbing his arm nervously, glancing at his shoes scuffing the pavement. Craig came forward then, smiling softly at him.

“You could’ve told us, you know. One, some of us know exactly what that’s like so no judgement there, and two, we would’ve made doubley sure we didn’t lose you dude. I’m gunna take it Evan knew, which is why he freaked?” The last sentence was phrased as a question, but Jon ignored it, turning to look up at the Canasian, opening his mouth to ask him why. The man smiled down at him, shrugging a bit and answering,

“I was worried for you.” Jon made a face, eyebrows scrunching in confusion as to why the younger man would worry about him of all people. He was only one weirdo that Evan had technically only just met. Brown eyes rolled down at him. “Stop it, I’m allowed to worry about my best friend, no matter how crazy he is.” He received a nudge, making him bat lightly at the taller’s arm, which shifted to sling round his shoulders.

“Soooooo, I take it you ain’t coming back in then?” Tyler questioned, normally gruff voice a tad softer. Jonathon sagged a bit, huffing a tired sigh.

“Not today, no. Imma gunna go chill back at the hotel, probably meet up with you for dinner if that’s ok?”

“That’s fine man, as long as you’ll be alright?” The tallest asked back, head tilting.

“Don’t worry, I’ll keep an eye on him. Wanna show you a new GTA glitch anyway.” The second part on Evan’s statement was directed at Jon, who frowned up at the Asian.

“What?” He questioned, eyebrows shooting up in disbelief.

“Yeah, it’s really cool, you can go absolutely flying…” the man trailed off at Jonathon’s shaking head.

“No, no, no, no, no, not the fucking glitch. Who says your coming with me?” A perfect black brow rose in return, warm browns lighting up at the challenge in the elder’s voice.

“Me,” came back, sounding smug and defiant. Delirious narrowed his own eyes, glaring up at the man.

“No you’re not. You are going back to PAX and actually spending some time having fun,” he countered, arms crossing. The other gave him a lopsided smile.

“Nope!” The younger replied, popping the p brightly. Blue remained narrowed, Jon frowning grumpily at his friend, determined that he wouldn’t ruin the trip for him. “Don’t look at me like that, Jonathon. There’s no point in me going back to the convention and worrying about you, and this means we can actually spend some time playing. So are you coming, or do I have to carry you?”

“You wouldn’t fuckin’ dare,” he growled, taking a step back from Evan.

“Try me,” the Canadian snarked back, cheeky grin on his stupidly attractive face. They stared each other down for a moment, neither backing down, until the moment Evan darted forwards, knees bending as he reached for Jon. Shrieking in surprise, Jon scrambled back, frantically looking for a place to hide. He shot behind Nogla, who was busy laughing, darting left and right in order to keep the tall Irishman between him and Evan. They ended up running circles around the man, Jon yelling at Evan to “stay the fuck away” through manic giggling. He eventually stumbled, allowing himself to be caught, where he was swung over a broad shoulder, strong arm clamping around his thrashing legs.

“EVAN!” he shouted, blood rushing to his head as he began thumping his fists on that extremely toned back. “Put me the fuck down, you dick! This is fucking kid-snapping you know?!”

“Kid-snapping?” Tyler wheezed, everyone breaking into fits of hysterics. “Jesus fucking Christ. Quick, someone tweet it, VanossGaming is a Kid-Snapper.”

“What the fuck is that? Does he break kids in half, or does he just snap his fingers at them sassily?” Craig gasped, Jon rolling his eyes at their antics.

“Shuch the fuck up, and get me down!” he hollered, just making the laughter worse.

Evan eventually recovered, calling back to him.

“I’ll do you a deal, I’ll put you down if you come play GTA with me.”

“Fuck you,” he growled back, feeling a bit dizzy.

“GTA first,” was the cheeky reply, Jon suddenly glad all the blood was already in his cheeks so no one could see him blush. He struggled for another moment, before going limp.

“Fine,” he sighed, scrambling a bit as Evan put him back on his feet. He glared up at the man, huffing angrily when the taller grinned at him, arm returning around his own narrow shoulders. He turned his head away so he didn’t have to look at his friend, arms crossing once more.

“Awww, come on Delirious, don’t be mad,” Evan cooed sarcastically, bending in an attempt to catch his eye, but Jon just turned away further, causing the Canasian to giggle.

“Right fuck boys, enjoy your ‘alone time’, we’ll catch you later,” Scotty called, the group abandoning the two, only Luke shooting one last worried look back. With no warning, Evan stopped trying to annoy him, and began pulling him in the direction of the hotel, humming as he walked. Jonathon listened to the soft sound for a while, allowing the taller to guide him, attempting to relax away the remaining emotions. He ended up so distracted he didn’t even notice they had arrived at Evan’s room, the younger pushing him gently onto the sofa, then turning away to grab his laptop and a controller.

Once the younger had settled next to Delirious, he plugged in the controller, passing it over. The GTA loading screen appeared on the laptop screen, Evan pausing before logging on, turning his head towards Jon.

“You sure you’re ok? I know an attack can take it out of you.” Blue eyes almost rolled, but stopped, knowing his companion was only worried.

“I’m fine Ev, seriously. I just wanna forget about it really.” That soft smile appeared again, darker eyes skating across his face.

“I get ya Del, I just wanted to check.” Jon hummed, tilting his head.

“You don’t need to worry about me, you know.”

“Yes I do,” was the soft reply, smooth voice filled with caring. “You’re my best friend, and you went through hell and I should’ve been there. So now, to make up for it, I’m going to cheer you up, kay?” Jon gazed at those eyes, still not believing he had ever done anything to deserve the caring nature of Evan Fong. The man was just too sweet, and his heart ached with how much he liked the younger. He didn’t know what to respond, so he just smiled thankfully, turning back to the laptop screen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> something someone said to me today: his pecs are absolute slabs of gammon


	23. Moments

**Evan’s POV:**

An hour later they were both in hysterics, tears streaming down pink cheeks as they struggled for breath. Jon looked so much happier, colour in his cheeks, eyes brightened with laughter, as he attempted to blow Evan up. It backfired when Evan’s character spun and shot the C4 in Delirious’s hand, causing it to explode.

“You bitch!” Jon screamed, sending them both back into giggles. Jonathon fell into Evan’s side, no longer able to prop himself up, smaller body warm as it shook against the Asian’s side. He threw an arm around the elder, preventing Jon from rolling of the sofa in his joy. Letting his own chuckles die out, Evan gazed down at the American, not able to help the smile that spread across his own face. Jon looked even better like this, blue eyes sparkling, freckled cheeks pink and damp from happy tears, small body relaxed against his side. Evan knew he was staring, but he couldn’t bear to drag his eyes away from the perfection in front of him. _How the fuck could one man be so amazing?_

Those musical laughs eventually died away, shorter man grinning up at the Canasian one, who returned the smile. They stared at each other for a moment, a need to be closer slowly building in Evan until he couldn’t bare it.

“Come ‘ere,” he mumbled, arms opening to pull the shorter against him, pinning Delirious against his chest. Thin arms rose to wrap around his ribs, and he tightened his hold in response, head dipping to rest his chin on that narrow shoulder.

“You ok?” Jon whispered into his ear, the hot breath on the lobe sending a shiver through him.

“Yeah,” he breathed back, not daring to break the quiet of the moment. “I’m just really glad you’re here with me Jon.” Evan felt the grin that was hidden in his neck, hiding his own smile in that famous blue hoodie.

“I’m glad I’m here too,” came back, the muttered words ghosting over his skin, a strange thrill running through him. He unconsciously shifted closer to the man, who moved his own legs to lie across Evan’s own lap, leaving no space between their chests. He could feel the other’s heartbeat through the thick fabric of his clothes, the gentle puffs of air on his neck as thin chest expanded and compressed. Familiar scent of pine and pizza filled his nose, muscles relaxing automatically. He had only met his man the previous day, yet holding the smaller in his arms felt like coming home, chasing away any remaining loneliness left in his heart from the last break up. The forgotten laptop was humming in the background, eventually beeping to signal low battery. Evan sighed heavily as he pulled back, allowing their cheeks to glide against each other, spikey stubble contrasting with the soft skin that touched his own.

They paused when their faces were about an inch apart, eyes locked for a beat, until Jonathon pulled back. Evan reluctantly released the older one, turning to close the laptop and grab the TV remote, switching it on to a random channel. Jon looked as if he was about to shuffle away, but Evan just pulled him back against his side, still unwilling to completely lose that warmth. Delirious stiffened for a millisecond, before relaxing into his side, head tilting to rest upon Evan’s shoulder. The Canadian smiled, squeezing his shoulders and resting his own head on the brown topped head next to him.

It vaguely registered with him that they were cuddling like a couple, but Evan couldn’t bring himself to care as they flicked through channels, ending up with some ridiculous court programme. Jon’s legs ended back over his lap, one of his hands finding a calf to gently rub. Comfortable silence settled over them, only broken by them snorting occasionally at the stupid things people said. Evan felt as if he could stay like this forever when Jonathon spoke again.

“Evan?” The voice was soft and relaxed, and he hummed in question, unwilling to even tense his jaw to speak. “What’s your favourite place?” The question was random, but he still had to bite his tongue to stop the automatic response of _here with you._ Shaking the thought away, he contemplated for a moment.

“I dunno really. Before YouTube, I would’ve said on the ice, but now I really like playing with you guys. I think they’re pretty even at this point. What about you?” The smaller hummed for a moment, before replying,

“My bed.” Evan couldn’t help but laugh, raising his hand to gently slap his companion, who just grinned up at him. “What? It’s an amazing place to be, and only gets better with me in it,” Jon snickered, Evan sending him his most seductive smirk.

“Is that so?” he purred, grinning in delight when those pale cheeks turned bright red. Jon slapped a small hand onto his chest, which had begun vibrating with his chuckles.

“You’re a dick,” the elder grumbled, still relaxing when Evan pulled him closer, squeezing narrow shoulders.

“You love me for it,” he teased, watching the red burn brighter, as electric blue glanced up to catch his eyes.

“You fucking wish bitch,” came back half-heartedly. **_Maybe,_** that Brockish voice whispered, Evan choosing to ignore it and its implications. _I’m spending too much time with the guys,_ he reasoned, turning his attention back to the TV.

A while later his phone buzzed from next to him, tanned arm stretching out to grab it in effort not to disturb their comfort. He glanced at the screen, seeing the message was from Brock.

M: _Heyy, we’re heading to a Chinese place for dinner. You guys joining?_

He showed the text to Jon, who nodded in response, sitting up to stretch. Evan felt the absence of the warmth immediately, having to stop himself from pulling Delirious right back. He responded to Brock, who sent them the address to a place a couple of blocks away. He grabbed his jacket, leading the way down to the street, both of them joking with each other as they left. But as soon as they left the front entrance onto the street, Jon immediately hunched his shoulders, grumbling.

“It’s fucking artic out here.” Blue hood was pulled up to protect those pale cheeks from the wind, already turning a midge pink. Evan giggled, throwing his arm back around Jonathon. _He’s been doing that a lot lately…_

“Should have worn a jacket if you were gunna be a wimp,” he teased, earning a pretty glare.

“Just because I’m not some Canadian snowman asshole like you.” Said Canadian burst out laughing at that, earning a few odd looks from the surrounding people. He ignored them, instead tightening his grip to prevent Jonathon from shrugging him off. The shorter kept grumbling all the way to the restaurant, Evan deciding not to mention when he noticed his companion pressing closer in the icy wind.

As soon as they entered the crowded building, Jon started cheering the warmth, immediately dashing away to find the others. Evan reassured the waitress that his friend wasn’t a random nutter, and they were meeting some people here, before wandering towards the back where the laughter seemed loudest. Jon had already wedged himself between Cartoonz and Nogla, chatting frantically about the glitch Evan had shown him, leaving the latter to sit opposite him between Tyler and Brian. He must have been smiling as he watched the man, heart filled with fondness, and Tyler nudged him with a knowing grin, before shoving a menu in his hands.

He rolled his eyes at his friend, exchanging a look with Luke before turning towards the food options.


	24. Undercover

**Jonathon’s POV:**

The rest of the evening past relatively calmly, the most memorable moment being Nogla’s camera being threatened by Cartoonz, only being saved by the Irishman swearing to not upload any footage with Jon in it. The rest was just a procession of jokes, food stealing (Evan ordered really tasty rolls), and various teasing. Toonz wouldn’t stop giving him a knowing look the whole time, occasionally flicking his dark eyes towards the Asian man opposite, but Jon just elbowed him, choosing instead to sneakily steal a dumpling off Marcel, who ended up yelling loudly at him, before Evan distracted the other by throwing a wanton at his head.

Blue met brown to exchange a grin, both ignoring Basically as they giggled at the raging man. They continued laughing through desert, and back to the hotel, where they all paused before splitting for the night.

“So, what’s the plan for tomorrow?” Craig asked through a yawn, leaning slightly on Tyler. The taller rolled his eyes, but still allowed the action, making Jon shoot another look at Vanoss.

“Souvenirs!” Nogla shouted, making the others shush him, before agreeing. “What bout you Delirious?” The lanky man continued, at a considerably lower volume. The older man shrugged, tilting his head towards the group Canadian.

“Forcing Ev to go to PAX, I guess,” he supplied, raising an eyebrow in suspicion when said man started to laugh.

“Don’t worry bitch, I’ll go quietly.” Several eyebrows rose at this, but Evan just turned away to head towards the elevator. The Asian ignored Jonathon’s curious eyes, just shooting the smaller a wink when he exited from his floor, leaving the blue-eyed man dumbstruck once more with how gorgeous the man was, and how fucking sexy he looked when he was being mischievous. He was so distracted Luke had to shove him out of the elevator, dark eyes rolling, before bidding him a goodnight. Jon drifted into his own room, changing and curling around his teddy bear (the super soft one from Evan last Christmas), dozing off. 

* * *

 

The next morning, he was awoken by a loud knocking, causing him to roll out of his bed without a thought, padding sleepily to the door, teddy hanging from his fingers. Opening it, he found Evan stood on the other side, leaning against the door post grinning like an idiot. Jon scanned the Canasian’s outfit, consisting of dark jeans, a black hoodie, a baseball cap, plus dark shades hiding those pretty eyes. Jon blinked slowly, trying to get his tired brain to function.

“What?” He ended up slurring, confusion evident in his voice. Evan just tilted his head.

“What, what? Not going to invite me in?” Jon silently shifted to the side, still gazing at the taller in puzzlement. The taller flopped on his bed, lifting his head to pull of his shades and grin once more at the shorter. Jon perched next to him, sitting his teddy carefully on the pillow whilst he considered his next words.

“Why is Batowl in incobnito mode?” Deep chuckling met his ears.

“In _cog_ nito you idiot. And because he is doing some important undercover stuff.”

“Fuck you. And what’s that?” Evan’s grin widened.

“Sneaking Batcoon round PAX of course. Now get changed, unless you want everyone seeing your Spongebob boxers?” the last bit was snickered, Delirious finally realising he was sat in just his boxers and a ratty shirt. Flushing, he prodded the Asian’s ribs with a toe.

“Fuck off, Spongebob is the best. And who says Batcoon is going anywhere?” he frowned. That gorgeous grin never wavered as the younger swung himself back upright.

“Batcoon did, when he demanded I go to PAX,” was snarked back, the man heading towards Jon’s suitcase, rummaging through it.

“I said you, not me, you dipshit,” he sassed back, a tiny bit of heat behind his words. Evan stood up, chucking some black jeans and a dark grey Vanoss t-shirt at him, grin softening into a reassuring smile.

“Yes, and I’m not going without you.” Jon just continued frowning, causing the taller to sigh. “Look Jon, It’s the last full day we have at PAX, and the last chance either of us have to enjoy it. It’s also your first convention, and I want you to actually experience the fun. So, we’re going to ditch the other’s, keep a low profile, and go have some fun, ok?” A warm hand had come to rest on his shoulder, but Jon continued to stare down the Canadian in front of him. “Trust me Del.”

The soft voice and emerging puppy dog eyes plucked at his heartstrings, immediately making him give in, groaning as he picked up the fallen clothing. Delirious couldn’t help but grin when the other man whooped, pulling the shorter into a quick hug, before practically bouncing out the door. Jonathon just smiled to himself, pulling on the clothes Evan had given him and adding a hoodie and a beanie to the collection. After scrubbing his teeth and splashing his face, he slipped out of the door to find his partner in crime leant against the wall, flicking through his phone.

Jon closed the door quietly, tip-toeing towards the distracted Canadian, grinning evilly. He waited until he was only a couple feet away, before launching himself at that buff body, laughing manically the whole time. Evan yelled, phone being dropped as strong arms wind-milled to keep himself upright with his new giggling attachment. Jon continued laughing as he twisted around to the taller’s back, latching on like a human backpack, arms and legs gripping around Evan’s torso (which he didn’t secretly test out the firmness of, no sir), chin resting on one broad shoulder.

Warm lips brushed his cheek (which immediately turned red) as Evan turned to look at him, panting slightly as large hands found purchase beneath his thighs.

“You little shit,” the taller huffed, eventually grinning as Jon continued to snicker, pulling his face back to catch the Asian’s eye behind those dark glasses.

“Yup!” He piped back, squealing as Evan suddenly dropped down to grab his phone and bag, arms and legs tightening in effort to hold on. The black bag was swung over both of their shoulders, phone looped under Jon’s leg to be shoved in a jacket pocket as they rose back up. Jon’s thighs were gripped once more, preventing his escape and leaving him to cling onto the Asian as they started moving towards the elevator.

“You gunna let me down, bitch?” he quizzed when they began moving down, his captor now even turning to look at him to deliver the reply.

“Nope.” Came back, ‘p’ being popped. “You shouldn’t have jumped if you wanted to stay on the ground.” Jon was jolted as they suddenly started forward again, peering over the cap in front of his eyes, grumbling slightly.

“Do I at least get food?” he moaned, hiding his smile at Evan’s laughter in the latter’s shoulder.

“Yes, we’re getting breakfast on the way, needy bitch.” Jon retaliated by thumping the younger’s chest (once again, definitely not checking out those pecs), before he suddenly spotted familiar icy-blue eyes. Tyler raised an eyebrow at the pair, nudging Scotty next to him, before calling out.

“Oi, what are you fucks doing?” Evan paused, allowing Jon to exchange a glance with him, before they both grinned.

“Run,” Jon whispered, immediately cackling when his ride flew off at full speed, darting towards the lobby entrance. “Bye Bitches,” he called back to the now bewildered pair, who were joined by Brian and Brock just before the running party left.

Jon just caught the question of “What te actual fock are t’ey up to?” before they were speeding through the cold Boston air, laughter being carried away by the wind.


	25. Cuteness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's another chapter, a bit longer. I should really be revising, but i'm having a real crappy day so far, so I decided to right some cute stuff to cheer me up.

**Jonathon’s POV:**

As he munched on his lunchtime cheeseburger, Jon had to admit, this was one of Vanoss’s better ideas. They had grabbed some breakfast at a coffee shop a block away from the convention centre (he had been returned to the floor at this point, much to his disappointment), before Evan began a tour of ‘Everything Epic About PAX’ as the taller had named it. They had spent several hours wandering around the various floors, watching demos, testing games, and generally having fun in each other’s company.

Jon still didn’t dare to laugh too freely, out of fear of being recognised, but Evan didn’t bug him about the hand that held in the too loud giggles. Their undercover mode seemed to work well, no one even giving them a second glance as they weaved through the crowds. His phone had been buzzing occasionally, but he ignored it for once, full attention on the Canadian next to him, who was rambling about zombies and the new horror he had tested.

Delirious watched the tanned man gesture wildly, own half eaten burger still in hand, face lit up with a grin. He watched those soft looking lips form each word perfectly, flashing white teeth occasionally, the words emerging registering as nothing more than soothing and pretty against the background of the convention. He half wondered if he would have to stand on tip toes to reach them with his own mouth, or if Evan would lean down to allow him access.

A shove yanked him from his thoughts, the taller of the two bursting into laughter as the shorter scrambled to stay on his feet. Jonathon turned to glare at Evan, who continued giggling.

“You should’ve been paying attention,” the Canasian sassed, still laughing. Jon attempted to shove him back, but just ended up pinging of the younger’s strong side, almost falling once more. The now familiar weight of Evan’s arm was back around his shoulders in a flash, holding him steady.

“Stupid buff Canadian bitch,” Jon grumbled in reply, allowing himself to be pulled close to that warm side, secretly basking in the warmth of the laughter and body next to him. He allowed himself a small giggle, smiling up at his companion who gave him a squeeze, before pulling him on to the closest stall.

They continued their afternoon much the same as the morning, Evan seeming to have decided that pushing Jonathon in real life was just as entertaining as in video games, despite the protests of the elder. The Canadian seemed to be able to find the most opportune moments, sending Jon flying towards several people and stands, before large hands would pull him back at the last possible moment before collision. At one-point Jon found himself yanked back into a broad chest that vibrated with laughter, being swung side to side in effort to keep him walking backwards whilst squashed against the Asian.

He felt his cheeks heat then, cursing his pale skin as his blue eyes nervously glanced up to find warm browns, still hiding behind dark shades. Evan paused, still smiling, head tilting in curiosity ( _fuck he’s cute_ ).

“What?” came with a cheeky sort of innocence, Jon flushing further as he gaped upwards. Could Evan really not see how coupley they were acting? Was he this close with the others, or was Jon special? Said man continued to stare up, expression refusing to change even as a raven eyebrow rose in question. Blue eyes scanned that gorgeous face, wondering silently what was going through Evan’s head, and how exactly could one man be so confusing yet still be so perfect. The head above him rose, glancing around, before leaning down closer, entering his personal bubble, expression changing from joy and curiousness to worry. Jon could feel his panic rise in the background as warm breath ghosted over his lips, shade covered eyes filling his vision. He was still trapped by Evan’s surrounding arms, preventing him from escaping before he could do something he really regretted (like jumping Evan’s bones). His eyelids dropped to half-mast without his permission, head tilting ever so slightly as he lost track of where exactly they were.

“Are you ok?” Evan whispered, words washing over his face, smelling mostly of cinnamon with a hint of burger. It was a strange combination, but Jon was instantly addicted, wanting to taste the other’s mouth to see if it was the same. The words themselves barely registered, going to the place in the back of his mind when his panic and the buzzing of his phone resided, seeming to be miles away from the moment he was ensnared in, wondering how badly it would go if he stretched to cross those remaining couple of inches, if he could feel Evan’s lips against his own and make the slight pink stain on tanned cheeks spread.

Evan himself was apparently much more with it, huffing a gentle sigh before sliding his hand in Jon’s pocket to grab the still buzzing phone, shooting the shorter an apologetic look before stepping back to answer the other’s device.

“What?” Came forth, the Canadian sounding unusually exasperated. There was a moment’s pause before, “He’s fine, he’s with me.” Another pause. “Don’t see why you need to know Toonz, like I said, we’re fine…. Yeah yeah, keep your pants on. I ain’t gunna let shit happen…….. Fight me Cartoonz, I dare you. So what’s the plan for later? ……Gotcha, meet you there.” The last bit was over cheery, Evan immediately hanging up after, ignoring the faint yelling coming from the speaker. Jon raised an eyebrow.

“What was that ‘bout?” he questioned, eyes once again fixed upon Evan’s. the taller sighed once more, swinging his arm back around narrow shoulders as they continued forwards.

“Tyler squealed on us and Luke thought I’d kidnapped you, cause you weren’t answering his texts. Seemed determined I was gunna fuck something up, which I’m not, cause I’m a genius.” Jonathon snorted at that, bursting into giggles at the indignant look upon the Asian’s face.

“Keep telling yourself that,” he snickered, dodging the shove he knew was coming, before darting ahead giggling. He knew Evan would follow, and could he the deep laughter flowing behind him as he ducked between people, occasionally glancing back at the other, only to speed up when he saw how small the gap had become.

Their game of cat and mouse was short lived, Jon pausing when a bright flashing display caught his eye, only to be run into by Evan, nearly sending them both to the ground. His excitement of the strange looking game was met with a fond roll of eyes, both men soon sucked into another demo setup. They spent a good hour trying it out, before eventually getting bored enough to wander away, looking at the various merchandise.

They bought several seemingly random items, all connected somehow or anther to an inside joke, giggling like idiots the entire time. They looked up directions to the restaurant choice of that night, 12 blocks away, Jon complaining his feet ached only to find Evan crouched in front of him, gesturing for the smaller to climb back up. Delirious didn’t even think of hesitating, sighing in relief when the weight was off his legs, arms looping around broad shoulders as his hands found purchase in Evan’s hoodie. He could vaguely feel the strong heartbeat under his left fist, allowing it to sooth him as they exited the large building. The various bags he possessed thumped against the Asian’s front from where they dangled from his own pale fingers, who huffed at them, before taking them himself to hand next to his hip where Evan had gripped his thighs once more. Jonathon let his chin rest heavily by Evan’s next, tilting his face towards it to protect himself from the wind, the exhaustion from the long day making his body lax.

His stead walked along at a steady pace, humming softly to himself, fingertips tapping gently against Jon’s thigh, making soft shivers run through the elder. Evan tightened his grip at that, most likely assuming the smaller was cold, but despite the wintery weather, Jon had never felt warmer. He unconsciously tightened his grip, tilting his head further so he could watch the Canadian’s currently peaceful face.

“Evan?” he suddenly called softly, barely hearing his own voice over the wind.

“Yeah?” was replied, just as gently, as now uncovered brown eyes met his own.

“Best PAX ever,” he returned, immediately blinded by the bright smile send his way. His own smile came forth, very soul warming at the joy he was presented with.

“Can’t really say that when it’s your only PAX,” Evan teased, face moving to knock their foreheads together. Jon just grinned wider.

“Can too,” he shot back, almost melting at the sight of Evan throwing his head back in laughter.

“Oii gayboys, can you hurry the fuck up so we can eat?” came echoing along the street, both men turning to see Scotty and Chrissy walking towards them, hand in hand. “Have you seriously been carrying him around all day?” The pair exchanged an exasperated look, before turning back to couple.

“What’s it to you four-zero?” Del snarked, Evan snorting a laugh.

“Where are the others?” The Canasian quizzed, looking through the window next to them when Scotty gestured. The large group was already crowded round a table, half of them laughing, whilst the other half stared and waved at the few outside.

“Don’t worry Evan, we’re late too,” Chrissy stated, flicking Scotty when he grumbled, before leading them through the door. Evan didn’t release Jon, despite his slight squirming, until they were beside the table, where he lowered the elder gently, before pulling out a chair for him with a flourish.

“Your seat, good sir,” the Asian announced in a god-awful imitation of an English accent. Delirious giggled, taking the seat before turning back to the taller.

“Thank you Sir Vanoss,” he piped back, in his noblest voice, making Luke snort into his coke. Evan flopped gracelessly into the chair next to him, shrugging his jacket, and grabbing a menu.

“What is it tonight boys? And ladies, of course,” the Canadian winked at the two women, earning himself twin glares from Scotty and Marcel. Jon felt his own spark of jealousy, mixed in with a longing for that wink to be aimed at himself.

“Can you stop flirting with our girls you dick?” Basically grumbled, making Evan laugh once more, the noise still filling Jon with heat.

“T’ey should count t’emselves lucky, everyone wants a piece of our buff Canadian cheese puff,” Brian stated, shrugging at the hurt look Brock shot him. “Don’t deny Brockster, you’d pay big money for t’at wink.”

“I thought we banned people from flirting with Brock since the incident?” Mini cut in, confusing Jon.

“What incident?” he asked, watching Moo’s face immediately go purple. Mini grinned wickedly.

“Well, a couple years ago at a fan meet up, some girls were trying to flatter Brock…” Said man groaned loudly, burying his face in his hands, “telling him how great he was, and how they loved him.” Nogla joined in then,

“And one of t’em invited Moo back to t’eir room, and Brock nearly passed out,” the Irishman snickered. Lui cleared his throat.

“I believe it was more a squeaked ‘no’ before he did a runner, wasn’t it?” The whole table was giggling now.

“Fuck off, all of you,” Moo moaned, elbowing Brian when he tried to throw an arm over the embarrassed man.

Jonathon was giggling along with the others, wishing the moment would never end, until it hit him that this was the last night, and he had a flight to catch in the morning. _Shit._


	26. Goodbyes

**Evan’s POV:**

He spotted Jonathon’s face drop just as their drinks arrived, not that he would admit he was watching the elder man. His own face dropped, the memory of Brock’s minor meltdown fading in his concern as he lent towards his friend.

“You ok?” he whispered, Jon jumping in surprise at his sudden closeness. Shiny blue eyes turned towards him, not reflecting the smile that crawled across pink lips.

“’m fine,” was his mumbled answer, Evan not believing him for a moment. He rose an eyebrow, studying the smaller’s face, waiting for a crack that never came. Sighing, he leant back.

“Bullshit, Del,” he muttered, gazing at the laughing Daithi. “You know I won’t judge.” He said it a lot to Jon, but it usually made the other confess, as if the reassurance was all he needed. The familiar sigh came from his side.

“It’s – it’s just we all go back tomorrow. And I really don’t want to. After all that worry ‘bout meeting you guys, and now… it just feels right, ya know?” Evan turned his gaze back to Jon, gaze sweeping over saddened features, wanting nothing more than to take his misery away.

“Yeah, I know. We’re all the same too, it’s just we’re used to it. But we’ll still play together, and chat. Then we’ll be meeting up again, and you’ll be wondering why you’re even friends with us.” That earnt him a light chuckle, brilliant blues brightening once more, making a grin stretch across his own face.

“Can you pussies stop eye fucking and order some food?” Tyler’s sharp voice interrupted them, causing both their heads to turn in sync. Evan gave the tallest a highly unimpressed look, only to receive one back courtesy of ice-like eyes, before the dark head nodded towards the waitress stood a smidge awkwardly behind, pen and paper in hand. He glanced over at Jon, only to see the elder man fumble a bit for the menu he had yet to touch, Evan not being able to prevent the slight smile at the now stammering man.

“Heyy you want the chicken calzone? It looks good,” he whispered to the frantic man, who nodded vigorously looking grateful. Evan just flashed him a wide grin, turning back to the waitress.

“A chicken calzone for him, extra cheesy if you can, and I’ll have to mushroom tortellini with the ragu sauce, please.” The woman nodded, scribbling quickly before turning back to them.

“Anything else I can get for you?” she said, light brown eyes focusing on Jonathon. Evan could see her interest in the man in the way her back straightened and she smiled. Those freckle cheeks flushed prettily once more as Jon shifted awkwardly.

“N-no thanks,” he stuttered, ducking that light brown head to hide his eyes. Evan thought he looked adorable, all small and nervous, but apparently so did she.

“Well you just call if you change your mind,” she winked with a high-pitched giggle. Evan grit his teeth, annoyance lacing his veins. He had to suppose it was due to how obviously uncomfortable Jon looked at the attention, since he had always felt protective of the other.  He threw his arm back around those thin shoulders (he knew he should stop doing it, but it felt like his arm belonged there), squeezing them softly, earning himself a new smile.

They returned their attention to the rest of the table, Evan immediately catching Brock’s raised eyebrows and once again knowing look, at which he just rolled his eyes. Their food soon arrived, Evan not budging his arm until he was sure the waitress was going to leave, only eventually dragging it away to eat, quietly munching away at his food. They continued chuckling all through dinner, quiet happily joking away as they feasted.

The joyous mood continued through desert, Evan’s own mood only dipping when the waitress slipped Jon her number with another wink, just before they left, but perked right back up when Jon offered it Luke with a cheeky smile.

“Merry Christmas Toonz,” Jon giggled, laughing louder when the bearded man crumbled up the paper and threw it into the wind. Evan joined in, once again pulling the shorter man close as they made their way back to the hotel. They gathered in Craig’s room once more, passing round beers and chatting away, enjoying their last day together. Evan chose to ignore the looks and comments from the rest, spending his time chatting away to Delirious, laughing with the older man.

When their conversation hit a comfortable lull, Evan took a moment to observe Jonathon. He watched how unique eyes glittered as he laughed, tears building in the corners as his whole face scrunched with the effort. Thin shoulders shook with the force of his joy, hoodie slipping off to expose his own logo once more. He didn’t question the warm feeling that floated through him, but that Brockish voice returned once more. **_Same reason you didn’t like the waitress._** Ignoring the accusation, he turned his thoughts back to his friend, who had now fisted a hand against his mouth, tears streaming down hot pink cheeks.

 _He looks perfect,_ Evan decided then, unable to find a flaw anywhere between those pierced ears and fluffy brown hair, down to his black painted nails and skinny jeans. The other was perfectly delirious with his joy, and it made the Canasian smile softly when he caught those pretty eyes. He received a soft smile back, which changed quickly when Evan shoved him off the couch and onto the floor.

The smaller cried out a war cry, launching himself back up, wrestling with him until they were both sprawled at the other’s feet, crying with laughter. They continued drinking and enjoying each other’s company until they were falling asleep, when everyone crawled off to bed, Evan giving Jon one last side hug, and a soft ‘g’night’.

* * *

 

The next morning started slow, everyone slowly drifting down the breakfast in various states of hungover and exhausted. Evan was one of the first down, only Brock and Simone beating him. He greeted them with a yawn, pulling his coffee close as he struggled to fully wake. The ate silently for a while, only interrupted by Craig appearing, glasses crooked on his face, who almost missed his chair when he sat. They laughed at the exhausted Brit, who flipped them off, before chugging half his coffee.

“How do you still have skin in your mouth?” Brock quizzed, looking concerned. “That coffee is boiling.” Craig swallowed, and grinned.

“Years of coffee dependence, Moo.” Brock sighed sadly, before turning to Evan.

“What am I going to do with you lot?” The man questioned, to which the Canadian snorted.

“Don’t ask me dude,” he shrugged back, digging into his cereal. Their mom friend raised a brow in his direction, contemplating him for a moment.

“Are you gunna be ok?” Evan tilted his head.

“What you mean?” he asked back, confused. Brock exchanged a glance with Craig, and Simone shot him a kind smile, before Moo began again.

“Well, we’re all going home tonight. That includes Delirious going back to Carolina,” was the gentle reply, making Evan sigh.

“I’ll be fine Moo, I’ve said goodbye to my friends before,” he grumbled, a bit put out.

“But Delirious isn’t just your friend, is he?” Simone’s soft voice floated over, more of a statement than a question, making the other three turn towards her. But before Evan could open his mouth, Lui appeared, dragging Nogla by the sleeve. This almost seemed to signal the others to arrive, with various bodies drifting towards their table, leaving Evan with nothing more than one last look from Brock and his thoughts. _Me and Jon are just friends… aren’t we? I mean we’re best friends, but that’s it, right?_ The man of his thoughts suddenly appeared next to him, flopping down with a tired grin which the Canadian returned a tad uncertainly.

Jon raised an eyebrow, but was soon distracted by his food, digging into it with gusto. All too soon, they had all finished, and were away to pack. Terroriser and Nogla were the first to go, heading back to Ireland. They said goodbye in the lobby, exchanging hugs and insults, and promises to play in the next few days. Lui was gone not long after, on an earlier flight to L.A. than either Craig or Evan. Scotty and Chrissy left nearing lunch time and a couple hours later it was Luke and Jon’s turn. They rose from their various perches on the lobby couches, each taking it in turns to hug the two men goodbye. Evan hung back, still feeling unwilling to let go quite yet, but know he had too.

He went to Toonz first, as Brock was whispering something to Del, hugging the bearded man before clapping him on the shoulder.

“Thanks for the present man, it was seriously the best. Just make sure he gets back safe, kay?” Evan stated, grinning at the older man.

“No problem Evan, it was worth it for the look on your face. He’ll be fine, probably spend the next week bugging me cause he’s bored now all the excitements over.” Evan laughed, before a small pale hand tapped his shoulder. Turning, he smiled down at his best friend, wondering faintly if he could just steal him away. Thin arms rose, draped in the hoodie he signed, and Evan pulled Jon into him, clamping his arms firmly around that narrow waist, almost lifting the other of his feet. Jon gripped around his shoulders just as tight, pale face being buried in his neck. They stood like that for a couple minutes, before Evan reluctantly pulled back a smidge.

“You gunna be ok?” he whispered, gaze focused on those beautiful blues.

“Yeah,” Jon breathed back, “I’ve got no excuse not to visit now.” Evan chuckled at that, hiding his grin in the other’s hair.

“Nope,” he gave back. “I’m still gunna miss you though.” A soft ‘sap’ was said into his collar bone, reminding him of the present he still had to give. “Hold on,” he said, pulling away to sift through his back. Pulling the book out, he presented it to the elder. Jon took hold of it, and as soon as he read the title, burst into that crazy laugh.

“Wow,” he stated, Evan detecting a hint of sarcasm. “You’re a dick Vanoss.” The Asian just snorted, yanking him back in.

“Yup, and you wouldn’t have me any other way.” The smaller giggled, holding onto his jacket until Luke cleared his throat.

“Del, I don’t wanna disturb Y’all, but we gotta go. Taxi’s here.” Jon pulled away slowly, Evan struggling to keep himself calm as he scanned that gorgeous face once more.

“Bye Ev. I’ll text ya when I’m back, and we can play, yeah?” He couldn’t help but smile.

“Yeah. You be safe, and don’t make Luke kill you, kay? I… I’ll see you soon.” Jon just smiled a tad sadly, squeezing his hand as the smaller began to walk away. Evan raised a hand in goodbye, more words on the tip of his tongue.

_Don’t go. I’m not ready. Please stay. Come to L.A. with me. I love you._

Yet he stayed silent as the Taxi finally pulled away, thoughts still swirling in his head, watching the empty horizon for a moment before it registered.  _Wait, what? I love you? What?_

And that’s when it hit him. He was in love with his best friend.


	27. Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo my peeps, another chapter, in a slightly different POV plus some more characters. Thank you so much for all your support, I keep waking up to emails about comments that just make my day :) love you all xxx  
> p.s. TW: sexual confusion and identity discussion

**Third Person POV:**

Evan remained quiet for a long time after Delirious had departed, sitting with his head down, staring at his shoes. The guys exchanged worried looks, Brock shaking his head when Tyler gestured at the Asian man. Marcel was frowning, but his face morphed into realisation when Simone leant up to whisper in his ear, turning to look at his friend in sympathy.

Anthony eventually left as well, ruffling the Canadian’s hair in goodbye, only getting a half-hearted swat in response. He threw a worried look at the group before leaving, phone being pulled out as he went. The remaining party sat back down, quiet conversation flowing that Evan seemed to not hear, nor did he notice the worried looks thrown his way. A heavy sigh came from the tanned man, who leant back, running both hands across his face then through his hair, staring at the ceiling. He tugged at the raven strands, only looking up when the sofa dipped next to him. Brock stared calmly at the Canasian, exchanging a look with Marcel who settled on the other end of the sofa. The two shared a nod, before Brock chose to speak.

“You ok?” His distressed friend slumped forward, sighing once more.

“I don’t know…” was the quiet reply, causing another concerned look to flash around the rest. Tyler spoke up next, sounding gentler than the crew would ever think possible.

“Heyy, cheer up dude. You’ll see him again soon and everyone knows you’ll be playing together.” Evan’s head rose, brown eyes fixing on the taller as he slowly shook his head.

“It’s… it’s not that…” Brock’s face morphed into one of surprise, but before he could speak, Wildcat began again.

“Then what’s up? You look like someone killed your puppy.” Evan didn’t answer, only continued to stare at the other gamer, eyes looking distant and lost. Brock shook his head at Tyler’s enquiring look, already knowing what Evan was on about. He twitched his phone, indicating he would message them later, before his Uber arrived. The Mom friend hugged his comrades goodbye, pausing when he reached Evan. The Asian had rose to say goodbye, so was at eye level with the other, who clapped his hands on strong shoulders with a reassuring smile.

“Remember, good can come from this. It’s ok Ev.” Brown eyes filled with confusion, which remained as Brock hugged him, before grabbing his bags and leaving with a wave. Evan stayed confused and quiet for the remaining time, eventually leaving himself for the airport, Wildcat and Mini in tow. They left Tyler at his gate for Tennessee, Evan gazing blankly at the passers-by as Craig whispered in the taller’s ear, the two hugging each other tightly, before reluctantly pulling away with murmured promises.

Craig guided Evan to their flight, the Canadian not noticing the Brit’s stares from three rows back, only looking away when his phone buzzed.

**Saving Private Evan**

**PedoBear:** anyone know whats up with vanoss

 **420blazeit:** somethings up with him?

 **Tittyjuice:** why are we saving evan

 **FineWine:** he went all quiet and shit after delirious left. And who switched these shitty nicknames over???

 **PedoBear:** I couldnt think of any better ones

 **Brycecream:** wait you guys met delirious????

 **Tittyjuice:** I knew I shouldve come this year

 **Razorscooter:** Yeah we did. And shouldn’t he be in this chat. He knows Evan better than any of us

 **Mom:** That wouldn’t be a good idea children, Jon might be the source of this issue.

 **Y’all:** Bull fucking shit. Jonny aint done shit to anyone

 **EvilTwinPablo:** I don’t think that’s what moo meant…

 **Pukeriser:** yeah, don’t blame brock >:(

 **Pukeriser:** and when did my name change?

 **Mom:** when you threw up on my shoes. And no, I’m not saying Jon did wrong, I’m saying he is the basis around which Evan is having an emotional breakdown.

 **Marcello:** that didn’t look like an emotional breakdown, it was like someone killed his dog

 **DarthVaderDePotNoodle:** wait, evan has a dog?

 **LuigisDeathStare:** it’s a metaphor Daithi

 **FineWine:** you fucking idiot

 **Pukeriser:** look, we all agree noglas an idiot, but what about evan

 **Ohmgasm:** what about evan?

 **Y’all:** *facepalm*

 **PedoBear:** did you just ignore all the messages except brians?

 **Ohmgasm:** …maybe, but give me a sec

 **Ohmgasm:** ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 **EviltwinPablo:** exactly

 **Ohmgasm:** so why is evan having an emotional breakdown about delirious? Is it cause you guys saw his face?

 **Razorscooter:** im pretty sure he got over that in their hug session

 **Brycecream:** then what? And hug session?

 **Marcello:** they were hugging for at least ten minutes. And they slept together. And they spent two days having special time

 **Brycecream:** awwwwww <3<3

 **420blazeit:** get in there boys, succ that dicc

 **Mom:** slept as in sleeping John. And please don’t meme peoples sex lives

 **420blazeit:** but mooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

 **Mom:** no

 **TittyJuice:** don’t worry john, we can meme together

 **Razorscooter:** gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

 **420blazeit:** You know it ;)

 **FineWine:** can you stop sucking eachothers dicks and get back to the problem

 **EvilTwinPablo:** aww tyler, its like you care

 **FineWine:** I don’t, I just hate playing with miserable vanoss, makes my life more difficult getting good footage

 **Pukeriser:** and there goes the caring. And I’m sure Brock knows the issue

 **Mom:** I have an idea. Im surprised you guys haven’t guessed

 **DarthVaderDePotNoodle:** that’s cause were dumb and you know everything cause your our mom

 **Razorscooter:**... he has a point

 **Ohmgasm:** surprisingly so. So mom, spill the beans on our brother

 **Y’all:** I only know jonnys side of this, but I can’t see how anything would cause vanoss issues. Its not like dels subtle bout how much he likes the dude

 **LuigisDeathStare:** neither of them are

 **Mom:** that certainly isn’t their issue. Our problem is more Evan focused

 **EvilTwinPablo:** we can’t help him if we don’t know. I mean, the dudes been staring at a blank tv this whole flight

 **Brycecream:** is he really that bad?

 **Marcello:** yep. Spill brock

 **Mom:** I’m not saying I’m right btw, it is just a knowledgeable guess….

 **TittyJuice:**??????

 **Mom:** do not under any circumstances mention this to either of them. If we try and force this thing, it’ll blow up in our faces.

 **FineWine:** we aint gunna say shit, get the fuck on with it

 **Mom:** ok, ok. It’s just…. Up until know Evan has always considered himself straight…. Like never even looked at a guy in an appreciative sense before….

 **Ohmgasm:** ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 **Pedobear:** well shit

 **Brycecream:** poor evan

 **Pukeriser:** ahh

 **DarthVaderDePotNoodle:** I’m confused. How can he think he’s straight when he likes delirious?

 **EvilTwinPablo:** are you actually retarded nogla?

 **FineWine:** jesus, how can you literally be this stupid?

 **DarthVaderDePotNoodle:** what?

 **Mom:** don’t bully your brother, no matter how stupid he is. And that’s the issue, he’s confused about that fact Nogla

 **DarthVaderDePotNoodle:** ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 **Y’all:** he better not hurt my brother due to a fucking identity crisis

 **Pukeriser:** evan would never hurt delirious

 **Razorscooter:** dude would probably rather shoot himself in the dick

 **Marcello:** which is why I don’t get why he can freak out over liking delirious

 **TittyJuice:** does this mean evan is officially bisexual

 **Mom:** I like to think it more as Deliriousexual

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Group chat names:  
> Mom = Moo  
> FineWine = Tyler  
> EvilTwinPablo = Craig  
> Pukeriser = Brian  
> Pedobear = Panda  
> Razorscooter = Scotty  
> Marcello = Marcel  
> Y'all = Luke  
> TittyJuice = Smi77y  
> 420blazeit = Kryoz  
> Brycecream = Bryce  
> Ohmgasm = Ohm  
> LuigisDeathStare = Lui  
> DarthVaderDePotNoodle = Nogla


	28. Shower Thoughts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: more sexual identity issues plus a graphic scene of self pleasure + fantasy oral sex

**Evan’s POV:**

Evan didn’t think he had ever been so relieved to walk through his own front door. Sighing heavily, he dragged himself up the stairs, ignoring his pile of mail, and straight to his room. Not even hitting the lights, he flopped on the unmade bed, burrowing his face in the pillow in hopes of blocking out the street light streaming through his window. It was dark outside now, had been since he and Craig had landed in L.A., but the brightly lit city held no favours for his pounding headache. The Canadian knew he should get up, have a drink or take a shower to feel better, but he felt drained to death, wanting to sleep but feeling unable.

His phone buzzed a couple times, a groan following its reveal, the bright screen blinding. Fumbling, Evan managed to turn down the brightness, squinting at the messages.

J: _heyy im back home. Hope you had a good flight_

M: _if you need to talk just call_

He managed to type a response to Jon, not wanting the man to be worried, but couldn’t bring himself to answer Moo’s message. He knew his friend was just being kind, as were the others with their concern (he had felt Craig’s gaze the whole flight back), but he didn’t know what to say. Hell, he didn’t even know what to think at the current point in time.

It was confusing as fuck, suddenly wanting to date his male best friend. He was determined to ignore the ‘love’ issue for now, figuring it was just a slip in his emotional state, and could be dealt with later. Just the idea of being attracted to a dude was throwing him off kilter as it was, considering he had never even glanced at another man in an appreciative sense. He had been certain he was straight since he first hit puberty, heart pounding every time a pretty girl looked his way, unknowingly showing off on the ice whenever the girls team was around, leaping around the house when one decided to accept his date offer.

Never had he looked twice at a guy and thought _you know what, you’re good looking_ before meeting Delirious, never thought any deeper into his joke flirting. Even now, as he thought of his other friends, he didn’t see them as any more than them, just different people with different faces. Yet Jon… Jon was remarkable. Evan never thought such as amazing personality would come with equally amazing looks. He could never just be another face, with those gorgeous blue eyes and cherry pink lips, a look that fit both innocent and dead crazy perfectly. Plus the laugh Evan was one hundred percent sure he was completely addicted too, the higher quality in real life just making it harder not to crave.

He wished he could hear it now, let it comfort and cheer him up as it never fails to do so, yet he didn’t reach for his phone like he had so easily before. There was no way of predicting if this change in Evan’s heart would be obvious to the other, and if so, if it would affect their relationship. The very last thing he wanted to do was lose Jonathon’s friendship, let alone over something as stupid as a crush, so there was no way he was going to risk it.

How he was going to hide it, however, was a different matter. Brock knew, that was for sure, as the man knew everything about them, whether they said or not. And since Moo knew, Brian would know, who would tell Mini, who would tell Tyler, who would bitch about it to anyone who would listen. Yet Evan couldn’t bring himself to care if they knew. As long as Jon never found out, he was safe. But that would take practice, as he was already failing. Looking back at PAX, none of his actions towards the elder man seemed remotely platonic, plus his urge to kiss the other would be at the forefront of his mind from now on. So yeah, he was gunna have to be careful.

* * *

 

The morning Sun woke him easily, streaming through the curtains he had forgotten to shut. It had been two weeks since PAX finished, and Evan had returned to his life of an empty house and videogames. He still played with all the guys, Delirious included, and most the time all was fine. But there were a few sessions where he had to concentrate on keeping his mouth shut, should he blurt out something stupid.

Last night had been the perfect example. They were playing Fortnite, one of the rare times Evan joined them for the game, and it had been going so well, until Evan had been shot. Delirious’s character had come to revive him, the man himself yelling about how he would save him, only to fail. He had apologised in such a sincere voice for letting Evan down the he immediately went to tell him _you could never let me down_ only for the other to burst into giggles. That near slip had left him on edge for the remainder of the session. He knew Jon was suspicious by the time he left, mainly due to the fact he didn’t hang around to chat, using the excuse of exhaustion, which was real enough by the fact he lay down for a moment and fell asleep straight away.

He had done it a few times, no one every mentioning it further than the odd reminder from Brock he was there to talk. Still, he didn’t take his friend up on the offer, not sure what to do with the building emotions that seemed to get worse no matter how much he tried to ignore them. Well… except for one…

The shower was hot against his back, only adding to the heat flowing through his veins. Evan took a deep breath, releasing it slowly as he let the vision of azure eyes and a cheeky smile overwhelm him, burning through his mine like a wildfire. The memory of Jon sat on his lap, face close and ass grinding unconsciously against his groin made his heart rate rise, blood beginning to rush south. Unable to resist any longer, Evan gripped his rapidly filling cock, head tilting back as he released a soft moan. Memory Jon suddenly morphed into fantasy Jon, who grinned wickedly down at him, releasing that gorgeous giggle as he ground down purposefully, pretty eyes locked on Evan’s.

The fantasy continued, Jon rocking sensually on his lap whilst biting that cherry like lip, lids falling to half-mast. Evan moaned louder, momentarily drowning out the soft sound that came from stroking himself, hardly paying attention to the water still raining down upon him as he became lost. Fake Jonathon was now leaning down, lips inches from Evan’s own, who could have sworn he could smell pine. When he tried to close the gap, the elder pulled back, releasing other giggle, before slowly sliding down the taller’s body.

Evan’s hand sped up at he watched pale hands undo his jeans, zip pinched delicately between black nails. His mind seemed content to torture him as their fantasy versions managed to slowly divest him of his jeans and boxers, blue widening in delight when his cock sprang forth. The elder seemed pleased, immediately dipping to engulf the head, Evan having to suddenly grip the base of his actual cock to stop him coming at just the mental image of perfect lips stretched around him, freckled cheeks hollowed.

He could almost feel the wet heat that would be present, hand starting once again in the rhythm of fantasy Jon’s movements. He was panting now, legs shaking slightly as he rested a forearm against the shower wall, head finding purchase there. Jon was perfection in his mind, eyes closed and mouth eager as he bobbed his head in time with the hand Evan would be resting on his head, testing those brown locks to see if they were as silky as they looked. He could picture it perfectly as Jon would pull away, shushing his protesting whine with a hand, so small and delicate compared to his own. The pale hand would be perfect against his cock, which would almost seem too big for such a small man to take.

His balls tightened at the image, moans now spilling uncontrollably out of his mouth as Jon leant back, head dripping to peer up through his fringe and he bit his lip, giving Evan that same seductive look he had delivered unknowingly in the arcade. But this seemed entirely too purposeful, white teeth releasing pink, which formed words that echoed in his very soul.

_“Come for me Evan.”_

That tipped him over the edge, deep groan bouncing off the bathroom tiles as he came, striping the floor with his release. His hand continued to pump, eager to milk every last drop of ecstasy from his body, only releasing when the motion was near painful. Evan slumped forward, breathing heavily as he watched the water slowly wash away the evidence of his session, parallel to the shame that washed away the last few remnants of the fantasy. He shoved himself upright, ignoring his weak legs as he washed, exiting the shower soon after. Wasting no time, the Canadian was soon dry and dressed, seated at his desk as he allowed the self-hate to come forth.

He couldn’t help but feel as if he had violated his friend in a way, thinking about him in such a state, and it left him with a sick hollow sensation, unable to move as he stared at his screen.


	29. Break

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello, im back again with more emotional stuff.

**Meanwhile:**

**Y’all:** he did it again

 **Marcello:** seriously?

 **Mom:** oh Evan…

 **Y’all:** Jonny is stressed as fuck over it too. Pretty sure if vanoss keeps up this shit hes gunna start demanding answers

 **FineWine:** would you blame him?

 **Ohmgasm:** cant you just tell delirious whats going down cartoonz?

 **Y’all:** he wouldn’t believe me

 **Razorscooter:** would you if you were told the guy you were crushing on was busy having a sexual identity crisis over you?

 **Ohmgasm:** I guess not…

 **Mom:** it would also be unfair on Evan. He has to be the one to tell Jonathon

 **FineWine:** well buckle u boys, we’re gunna be here fucking years

 **Pedobear:** has anyone tried talking to evan about this? John you like dick, can you convince him its an ok thing

 **420blazeit:** im gay, not a fucking therapist you fuck

 **Tittyjuice:** yeah, he would be shit at that

 **Mom:** yeah, I don’t think John is the best option (sorry). Anyway I’ve told him he can call multiple times

 **420blazeit:** thanks for the support mom

 **Mom:** youre welcome (◕ᴗ◕✿)

 **EvilTwinPablo:** did brock just kawaii?

 **Ohmgasm:** I think he just did

 **Y’all:** can you fucks get back on topic

 **EvilTwinPablo:** theres not much we can do. Both me and Lui have been to evans and neither of us got an answer

 **FineWine:** I vote I come kick his door down and bitch slap some sense into him

 **Mom:** no, Tyler, just no. I’ve got a plan should he do it again

 **Pedobear:** and whats that?

 **Mom:** you’ll see

 **DarthVaderDePotNoodle:** well see what?

 **Y’all:** *facepalm*

 

 

* * *

**Jonathon’s POV:**

To say he was worried would be a gross understatement. Jonathon was pacing his room, fingers tangled in his hair, contemplating whether to call Evan or not. The Canadian was acting weird, leaving recordings early, being quiet, and not texting him as much, all of which put Jon on edge. Add to that the fact this had all started since they left PAX, he was almost inconsolable. Luke had tried to reason with him, but his mind latched onto the idea this was due to his reveal, and could not shake it.  It had been the one thing he had been trying to avoid, changing things by showing his face, and it looked as if his worst nightmare had come true.

Now Evan was drawing away, he could barely sleep, Luke was round most days to keep him calm, and the others didn’t even mention the issue. It was driving him insane, and he didn’t know what to do. Jon had to wonder how long it would be before he cracked. He never would’ve guessed it would be the very next time he played with the Canadian.

They were playing GMOD death run with quite a few friends, even having managed to drag Wildcat away from Fortnite. It was normal at first, Nogla fucking up as death, Panda failing to crouch jump, a random hole in the floor. Jonathon was chill, laughing along with the rest, soothed by Evan’s chuckles coming through his headset.

The two were getting along fine, joking around as usual, making sly digs to rile the other up. The round finished, with Delirious ending up as death (a rare occasion), and it was going well until they hit the friendship test. Vanoss vs Wildcat, it seemed like an easy choice. But that didn’t stop Tyler from screaming.

“What the fuck dude?!” Jon just giggled happily.

“Vanoss is nice to me sometimes and you’re a bitch,” he chirped back, laughter dying at Evan’s sudden silence. The game continued, Evan joining back in quickly, but it all seemed forced. The Asian had gained an edge to his laugh, a delay to his responses that sent Jon’s anxiety sky high. When they mutually decided they had enough footage, Evan immediately disappeared once more, murmuring about fridges and timers before he disconnected.

The awkward silence that followed broke him, sounds of surprise following his low growl.

“Del, you ok?” Brian quizzed, snapback covered head tilting on Jon’s screen that held the skype call. He barely paid attention, pulling out his phone and fumbling with it for a moment.

“I’m gunna call him,” he said shortly, before disconnecting himself. Pressing call, he fidgeted as the ringing echoed in his ear, fingers gripping his hoodie sleeves. The repetitive noise seemed to drag on for years, his hope falling the longer it went on. He was just about to drop the call and go and drown his sorrows in alcohol when a quiet click came through.

“Jon?” Evan sounded exhausted and withdrawn, an odd combination for the lively man. Jon bit his lip, stealing himself.

“What’s wrong Ev?” His question was met with a stunned silence, the other not used to him being so blunt.

“W-what d’you mean?” was the stuttered reply, making Jon heave a sigh, feeling ridiculously tired.

“You know what I mean. You’ve been acting weird since Boston,” he murmured. “You dash away from recordings, you’re forcing your jokes, and I don’t hear from you unless we’re playing. And it always happens after something I say. Have I done something? Is it cause you’ve met me? Can I fix it? This is driving me fucking insane Evan, so please just tell me.” He was almost yelling at the end, breath coming in rapid pants as he sat trembling, waiting for the conformation he had ruined their friendship.

Yet none came.

“Jonathon, breathe, please. I’m not mad at you or anything, I promise.” The answer seemed a tad frantic, but he had to assume that was due to his now wheezing lungs. “I’m sorry, this isn’t you fault, please just calm down and breathe. In and out slowly…. That’s it.” The encouraging words eventually slowed his heart rate, lungs beginning to function normally again. After he released a final sigh, Evan began again.

“Jon, I fucked up, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to stress you out, or anything, I just… fuck this is hard. I’ve just got a lot on my mind, and it keeps distracting me at the stupidest times.”

“Then why didn’t you tell me?” Jon whispered, confused. “You know I won’t judge.” It was a line Evan had used to the American multiple times, helping him to say what was on his mind, and he could only hope it would do the same for his Canadian friend.

“I know,” came through softly. “But this is something I have to work through on my own. I don’t want to lose anyone over it, especially you.”

“You could never lose me,” he breathed back, head falling back to stare at his ceiling, knowing in his very heart he would only walk away if Evan himself told him to.

“Never say never,” came back, the Asian man sounding so unsure before releasing his own sigh. “Look Del, I’ll try and stop being an awkward dick so much, if you promise me you’ll stop blaming yourself, kay? I mean I can’t promise I’ll be perfect, but I can try.” The masked gamer hummed for a moment.

“Kay. But only if you promise you’ll be ok. I fucking worry about you, man.”

“I promise.” Jon finally relaxed at that, a yawn ripping through his next words.

“Go to bed Jon,” Evan muttered to him, blue eyes rolling in reply despite the other being unable to see.

“Says fucking you. You sound as if your about to collapse.” A light snort was his reply, making a tiny giggle escape his lips.

“I’ll do you a deal, we’ll both go to bed.”

“Ev, that is the best idea you’ve had all night.”

* * *

**Meanwhile:**

**Mom:** plan is in motion boys


	30. Visitor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIRTY CHAPTERS LADS!!!!! EXAM STRESS IS NOW KILLING ME, BUT FUCK IT

**Evan’s POV:**

He woke the next morning feeling groggy and stressed, the guilt from the previous night still weighing down his shoulders. The Canadian had no idea his weird mood had been worrying Jon so much, even to the point of blaming himself. Cursing his stupidness, Evan guessed he should’ve realised. Jon always pick up on the little changes in the Canasian which was partially why they were such good friends, and why Evan liked him so much.

He groaned into his palms, hating himself just that little bit more. He had been upsetting Jon by being an idiot, and why could he just not be attracted to the guy?? Why couldn’t he just be happy he had finally met his best friend and they could now hang out and have fun? And why did Jon have to be so damn cute, using the Asian’s own words against him and worrying about him. _Stupid adorable Jonathons._

He eventually crawled out of best, collecting a bowl of cereal and settling on the couch, reruns of CSI on the TV. He smiled at the memory of Jon giving him blueberries that morning, almost wishing the man was back next to him. Despite the mess of feelings the American brought forth, Evan still missed his presence, the warmth that had found its home under his arm and against his side. Having delirious next to him felt like coming home.

He knew he should have spent the day editing his latest video, but instead found himself only leaving the couch to wash out his bowl and grab his guitar, spending the next several hours watching shit TV and gently strumming the familiar strings. He spent some of the time thinking how he could cope better with his sudden realisation and the rest lost in multiple memories of the blue-eyed man. It wasn’t until about two in the afternoon that someone knocked on his door.

He stilled, fingers still pressed against his guitar, not moving to open the door. The person knocked again, and guilt began to well up again. He knew it was most likely Mini or Lui coming to check on him due to his apparent AWOL, but he had no idea what he would say to them. Eventually the person gave up, but Evan’s guilt persisted. He didn’t like avoiding his friends, but he was so lost himself, he didn’t know what else to do.

He was just about to start playing again when he heard the backdoor creak. Yet, before he could stand, Brock walked around the corner, stopping in front of the couch, arms crossed. Evan gaped up at him, confused.

“Knock, knock,” the elder man began, raising his dark eyebrows when the Canadian stayed silent. But Brock seemed still ever patient, waiting for his response.

“Who’s there,” Evan eventually managed.

“Who.” Wasrm browns narrowed, already knowing what was about to happen.

“Who who?” he replied, voice containing a tiny bit of warning.

“So, the owl can talk. Now spill.” Brock looked ridiculously smug at his own geniusness, making himself comfortable next to the now glaring Asian.

“Hoodini does not appreciate Moo’s puns,” he grumbled, earning an eyeroll.

“And Moo does not appreciate Hoodini’s avoidance,” Brock sassed back, before allowing his face to soften. “Seriously Ev, talk to me.”

“I could’ve talked to you when you were in Ohio,” Evan replied.

“Yes, but you wouldn’t. So, I’m now here to talk you through your problems like a good Mother.” He snickered at Brock’s serious face.

“You’re taking your role a tad too serious there, man. You realise you’re not actually my Mom,” was his cheeky response.

“I am. Now respect your mother and talk about your issues with wanting Delirious.” Evan choked at that, chest heaving as he coughed. Brock landed a few slaps on his back, helping to dislodge the spit that had attempted to kill him, before leaning back to watch him gasp for air.

“What?” the question came out an octave to high, adding to the heat already building in his cheeks. Moo just looked unimpressed.

“Do you really think I couldn’t guess. I know you, Evan. And whilst I realise this is confusing for you, you don’t seem to be working through it very well, which is worrying me.” Evan stilled at this, cocking his head at his friend. The returning gaze was patient and understanding, so he sighed, allowing his body to flop back into the soft pillows, fingers mindlessly plucking at his guitar.

“Well you and Delirious can make a club, he called me last night cause I’ve been acting weird.” Brock looked curious now.

“And did you talk to him about it?” Evan shook his head. “Why not?”

“What am I meant to say?” he quizzed back. “Heyy Jon, sorry I’ve been acting weird, I’ve suddenly become attracted to you, am having a gay crisis, and I’m terrified it’ll ruin our friendship. But don’t worry, I’ll get over it and we can forget about it?” He sounded hysterical by the end, stress hitting him once more. Moo hummed a tad, leaning back with fingers stroking his chin thoughtfully.

“Not quite like that, but basically, yes.” Evan was immediately back to gaping, without a clue how Brock thought that was a good idea. The other man shrugged, continuing. “Well for one, liking one guy doesn’t make you gay. Maybe bisexual, but I think you just have an exception when it comes to Jon. Two, I don’t think it will stop you guys being friends. You’ve practically been inseparable since you started playing together.”

Evan didn’t move, mouth remaining open. _What??_ Brock sighed heavily, giving him that same look of pity that had appeared in Boston.

“I’m gunna order pizza, and we’re gunna have a looooooooooooooooong chat bout this,” the elder sighed, rising with phone in hand.

**Meanwhile:**

**Pukeriser:** anyone know what he’s on about?

 **EvilTwinPablo:** something to do with helping evan I guess

 **Marcello:** jealous bri?

 **Pukeriser:** why the fuck would I be jealous

 **Tittyjuice:** cause ya boi is paying more attention to vanoss than you

 **Pukeriser:** brock isn’t my boy….

 **Marcello:** he could be if you got you head outta yo ass

 **Pukeriser:**???????????

 **EvilTwinPablo:** and we thought evan was clueless

 **Mom:** children, stop bullying your father. I’m at Evan’s now and trust me, this is gunna take a while

 **Pukeriser:** thanks Brocky…. I think

 **Marcello:** good luck moo, ev can be thick as shit sometimes

 **Tittyjuice:** but is he nogla stupid?

 **FineWine:** pretty sure that’s fucking impossible

 **DarthVaderDePotNoodle:** fuck you wildcat

 **Marcello:** no, that’s minis job

 **EviltwinPablo:** what

 **FineWine:** what

 **Marcello:** *facepalm*


	31. Plan

Its one thirty am and I have an exam in the morning….. this is bad

Chapter 31:

**Evan’s POV:**

Two hours later, Brock stood with a yawn, taking their plates in the kitchen before heading towards the spare bedroom, leaving Evan sat on the couch, staring unseeingly at the muted television. The two had spoken for a long time (by which he meant Moo had done a lot of reasoning whilst he sat there looking for holes in the elder’s logic), and Evan was left exhausted but his mind was still running at a million miles an hour.

The nub and gist of what Brock had told him was:

  * It’s ok to like guys and this won’t change his whole identity or anything, so learn to live with it
  * Despite the comments, none of the guys give a shit if you like dudes, because we’re all shipping H2OVanoss
  * Tell Jon, because he’s worried about you, and Cartoonz might murder you if you cause him anymore stress
  * No, you may not be in love with him, and that might never happen, but would it really be such a terrible thing if it did



The last point was his main issue. It would be pretty bad if the feeling wasn’t returned, because no one really wants to be in love with someone who doesn’t love them back, and should it affect their friendship.. _yeah fuck that._ But should, by the tiniest chances, Jon end up liking him back in such a way…. Well…..

Evan felt like a teen with a bad crush all over again, imagining holding his crushes hand, and going out to dinner, and just being around them. The idea of being able to hug and kiss Jon, to call him _his,_ made some deep part of himself light up with pleasure. Jonathon already looked good in his branded shirts, but Evan knew he’d look twice as good wearing one of the youngers actual shirts, or draped in his jacket, only bettered with marks on his neck to prove the elder was taken, that only Evan could have him and see those gorgeous blues flutter and pretty mouth forming moans as he tasted that pale skin….

That was the point when he realised he was half hard, and the guilt once again flushed away the image. Flopping back with a groan that only sounded a smidge desperate, he shook away the lingering arousal, finally persuaded that sleep was necessary. Those thoughts would be allowed back when Brock left.

**The next morning:**

**The Weenie Squad:**

**FineWine:** yo bitches, clear your schedule for a week in like a months time

 **EvilTwinPablo:** why

 **FineWine:** because I fucking said so that’s why

 **Marcello:** and why should we listen to you bitch

 **FineWine:** cause im taller than all you short asses and will not hesitate to beat the crap out of you

 **Pukeriser:** one, im pretty sure nogla is the same height as you, and two, @Evan could probably easily beat the living shit outta all of us

 **AsianPersuasion:** you called?

 **FineWine:** one, nogla is a scrawny cunt, and two, im pretty sure your right there

 **AsianPersuasion:** why am I beating people up

 **Marcello:**  because ur an actual tank

 **Razorscooter:** tru

 **Tittyjuice:** tru

 **420blazeit:** tru

 **Pukeriser:** tru

 **Finewine:** tru

 **EvilTwinPablo:** tru

 **Pedobear:** tru

 **Brycecream:** tru

 **Y’all:** tru

 **H2Hoe:** tru

 **Ohmgasm:** tru

 **LuigisDeathStare:** tru

 **DarthVaderDePotNoodle:** tru

 **Mom:** tru

 **AsianPersuasion:** you too brock :( I cooked you breakfast and everything

 **Mom:** gotta tell the truth. And you poured me a bowl of cereal…

 **AsianPersuasion:** it’s the thought that counts

 **Mom:** no it really isn’t. Tyler, why do you want us to be free

 **FineWine:** cause you sluts are coming over to my house and we’re gunna have a fucking partay

 **Tittyjuice:** and why do we need a whole week for that?

 **FineWine:** because we’re gunna make an event out of it. A whole week of video games, booze, playing cards, and hanging out

 **Pukeriser:** sounds like a terrible idea…. Im in

 **Y’all:** me too

 **Tittyjuice:** me and the second channel are coming

 **420blazeit:** did you just decide im going?

 **Tittyjuice:** yup

 **420blazeit:** ok, im in

 **Pedobear:** can we brink our chicks

 **FineWine:** yeah

 **Pedobear:** im in

 **Razorscooter:** me too

 **Marcello:** yup

 **EvilTwinPablo:** me too

 **LuigisDeathStare:** me three, plus nogla

 **FineWine:** shit

 **DarthVaderDePotNoodle:** wooooo paaaaaaaarrrrrtttttaaaayyyyyyy

 **H2Hoes:** WAIT

 **H2Hoes:** I gots a important question!

 **FineWine:** what?

 **H2Hoes:** @Brock, what type of cereal

 **Pukeriser:** really?

 **AsianPersuasion:** Cheerios

 **H2Hoes:** trix is better, you have failed the test and failed me

 **AsianPersuasion:** I’ll buy you a box and send it to you

 **H2Hoes:** you have redeemed yourself, im in for the party!

 **EvilTwinPablo:** seriously??

 **Mom:** Ohm, Bryce, Evan, what do you think

 **Brycecream:** I’ll go if I can! I take it your going brock

 **Mom:** im legally require to supervise these idiots when in large numbers

 **Ohmgasm:** lol. I might make an appearance ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **EvilTwinPablo:** your fucking weird ohm

 **AsianPersuasion:** that I can agree to. But spending a whole week with you idiots…..

 **DarthVaderDePotNoodle:** awwwww come one vanoss

 **FineWine:** don’t be a pussy bitch

 **Marcello:** you gotta come, we gotta complete the squad

 **H2Hoes:** please Ev

 **AsianPersuasion:** ….. fine, but this is a bad idea

 **H2Hoes:** YAY

 **EvilTwinPablo:** that’s why its so good

 **Tittyjuice:** so whens this going down?

 **FineWine:** lets say the 16 th for a whole week. Let get fuuuuuuuuucked


	32. Together Again

**Evan’s POV:**

The next month passed in a blur for Evan. Brock left after two days, making him promise to not disappear and actually show up at Tyler’s. He had shrugged in response, wondering how badly he would be murdered by Wildcat for not showing up, only to get a frown from Moo.

“Jon will be upset if you don’t come.” That had caused dark brows to raise, a non-committal hum coming from the Asian. Brock just sighed, patting his shoulder with a smile, before leaving for the airport. Evan had returned to his couch after, heaving a sigh of his own, head tilting back. He was still a bit unsure of his standing with Jonathon, having gone into extreme depth with his fears in a therapy session from Mooma. Brock had been an extremely good friend, patiently listening and discussing counter points that he seemed to be able to create out of thin air, whilst still making total sense.

And after having been reassured about his sudden bisexualness so many times, Evan found it a bit easier to come to terms with. Moo had also talked him down from his plan to avoid Delirious, explaining that if he wanted to maintain their friendship, he just had to act like he always did, because that was why the clown was his friend to begin with. And there was no point in fighting for the platonic if he wasn’t going to enjoy it.

Hell, the only thing he really disagreed with Moo about was telling Jon, and no amount of reassurance was going to make him risk it all for more. Moo just nodded, sympathy in his eyes. But overall, Evan mostly accepted this was a thing that was just gunna be, and he would have to live with it in order to keep Jonathon by his side. He began relaxing back into his normal state, no longer vanishing after recordings and supressing the rapid beating of his heart whenever Jon said something particularly cute.

The American still occasionally asked if he wanted to talk, to which he replied he was fine, and brought up their gathering to distract the elder, who, like the rest of the group, was practically bouncing off the walls with excitement. The group chat was constantly active, with people throwing out ideas, asking questions, and making plans. It had worked out Ohm could only be around the first four days, and Smitty (and therefore Kryoz) could only be around the last four, which had led to much bitching from their resident giant, before he had agreed to have the party Thursday night so everyone was present.

They also threw out party invites to their wider circle, and with cheap hotel prices, the majority agreed to come for the main event. Sark and Seananners basically decided to drop everything, Chilled and his group decided to make a road trip out of the whole thing, and after some begging, even Droid agreed to come down. It was shaping up to be the night of a century, Mini offering to make cocktails, Scotty and Anthony talking about fireworks, Smitty volunteering to bring his collection of Cards Against Humanity Expansion Packs, Ohm cheering about real life UNO, and for some odd reason, Nogla yelling about potatoes.

The mania only got worse as the days past. A week before Evan was due to fly out to Tennessee, he found himself listening to the guys after a recording session all squeal like teenage girls about a boyband. He left silently, letting his growling stomach guide him downstairs, feeling his phone buzz in his pocket.

J: _theyre getting a bit crazy bout this_

_Says you :p_

J: _Fuck you bitch, im not that bad_

_Well no, but your still crazy_

J: _fight me. I aint crazy, im delirious_

_Why not both?_

J: _too shay. Annnnnnnnnnnnndddddddddd, my main point, why aint you excited??_

Evan couldn’t help but burst out laughing at the spelling, nearly dropping the frying pan in his hand. He managed to hold it together enough to throw it on the stove, before wiping his eyes to reply.

_It’s touché you fucking idiot. And I am excited, im just not pissing myself over another party_

J: _fuck you and your weird e, stupid french canadian bullshit. Im not really that hyped for the party either if im honest_

_Call me a French Canadian again bitch, and ill push you off a building. Then why have you been going mental?_

J: _hehe, vanosss weakness. Because im excited to see you guys again_

_Any normal Canadian would stab you for calling them those blasphemous words. And nawwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, you call me fucking sappy_

J: _theyd still apologise after thou. And shuch the fuck up_

_Fuck off. And never. Bt if it makes you feel better, im excited to see you too_

And Christ, wasn’t that the truth. Despite his minor breakdown about the man, Evan still missed spending time with his insane friend. PAX had been like trying out a drug and becoming instantly addicted, and no matter how much they played together, it wasn’t the same as having the smaller next to him, warm under his arm as that crazy laugh echoed in high definition. He prodded his cooking pancakes absently mindly, lifting his phone once more when it vibrated.

J: _a week is too long…._

The Canadian could help but agree. 

* * *

 

A week later he was on his plane, heading towards Nashville International, leg bouncing with nerves. He was alone, Craig having flown out two days early to no one’s surprise, and Lui on a different flight that landed a few hours before his. He tapped nervously at his thigh, the woman next to him giving him an odd look, before turning back to her book. He had told the guys he would find his own way to Tyler’s house, being one of the last to arrive, and wanting the extra time to freak out about how he would act around Jon.

The plane eventually came in to land, Evan giggling at the Jon like voice in his head yelling about ‘mid-land’ and ‘flyer’s-licence’. His emotions seemed to jump wildly as he exited the plane, excitement and nerves battling during his hunt for his luggage. By the time he was in the taxi, having given the driver Tyler’s address, his leg was bouncing wildly, fingers tapping away at his prone knee. He watched the scenery pass by, focusing on his breathing to try and help himself calm down.

The taxi driver shot him a few concerned looks, to which he threw back an awkward smile, before returning to gazing at the Southern countryside. His phone started to buzz.

W: _where you at faggot?_

M: _you land safe?_

J: _bitch, where you aaatttttttttt??????????_

He smiled at the messages, so typical of each of his friends. Leaving the messages on read without replying, he counted down the moments until he arrived at Wildcats. He entered the town, feeling his grin rising above the anxiety, excitement building at the idea of seeing his friends again. The cab pulled up in front of the large house, driver giving him a weird look when he giggled at the shouts already echoing forth, before asking for the fare. Evan threw some bills his way, mumbling to keep the change as he went to grab his bag from the trunk. He barely noticed the car pulling away as he approached the front door, hand raising to knock on the wood.

The door was yanked open in moments, Craig on the other side, bright hair mussed and cheeks rosy with laughter, who proceeded to yank him into a hug.

“You’re not pizza,” Craig giggled, releasing him and turning. Evan laughed, following with his luggage, leaving it in the pile by the bottom of the stairs. He took a minute to collect himself whilst Mini passed through another doorway, shouting to be heard above the laughter (Evan could pick out his favourite noise echoing through already, making his heart leap).

“Heyy, I thought we ordered Pizza, not Chinese.” Evan’s eyes narrowed playfully, heading towards the front room as he called back.

“Call me Chinese again, and see what happens, you racist fucker,” he announced, arms crossed as he leant against the doorframe. A roar of noise greeted him, several appreciative and sassy calls coming forth, but the noise couldn’t distract him from immediately locating those pretty blues. They were alight with joy, and coming close fast as the small body launched over the back of the sofa (smacking Cartoonz in the face on the way), and flew towards him. The Canasian barely had time to open his arms before the laughing mass collided with his chest, thin arms and legs wrapping around him like an octopus.

He stumbled back slightly, his own arms coming up to wrap firmly around Jon’s waist, holding him close as he let out his own laugh, face buried in pine scented hair. The weight that had fallen on his shoulders after PAX immediately lifted, chest warming. Jon pulled back from where his face was burrowed in Evan’s shirt, blue eyes clashing with his own brown.

“Hi.” Evan couldn’t help but notice how those pink lips were pulled back in a grin, exposing white teeth.

“Hey,” he murmured back, locking their eyes once more.


	33. Rooms

**Jonathon’s POV:**

He held Evan’s gaze, heart racing with their closeness, body warming where he was wrapped around the taller. He couldn’t bring himself to be embarrassed at his reaction to Evan’s arrival, having missed the younger man too much for what could be considered friendly, the familiar warm arms around him helping to chase away the feeling. Said arms were also preventing him from getting back on his feet, but he didn’t care, content to cling onto that firm body.

“Deeeeelllllliiiirrrriiioouusss, you’re hogging Vanoss. Let us say hi,” Bryce piped up from behind them, causing the two to break eye contact, heads swivelling towards the noise. Jon had completely forgotten there were others in the room, and could feel the blush rising up his neck as Evan set him gently on the ground, giving one last squeeze before strong arms vanished. He stood back as Bryce attempted to break Evan’s ribs, the Asian man laughing as he patted the tall man’s back. Jon ignored Cartoonz’s exasperated look as he retook his seat between his friend and Nogla.

“Evan, Ohm’s here!!!!” Bryce was hopping around like mad, having been doing so since he arrived with Ohm, eager to introduce the man to everyone for the first time. He was currently dragging Evan by the jacket to stand in front of Ryan, and Jon couldn’t help but tense when two sets of brown eyes met. Everyone had commented immediately how gorgeous the gamer was, with his soft brown hair that matched his eyes perfectly, flawless pale skin, and stubbled strong jawline. Hell, even Jon thought the man was sexy as hell, and would probably try to date him, if his heart wasn’t already set on Evan.

Yet Evan just gave the other a quick scan and a grin, before throwing his hand out.

“Heyy dude, nice to finally see ya,” the Canadian offered, laughing when Ryan bypassed his hand to stand and hug him.

“And you, oh UNO king.” The odd name set them both giggling, sharing a high five before Evan turned back to the room (Jon would never admit that his own pride glowed at the fact Evan had been much more excited to meet him).

“So, you bitches ordered food, or what?” Tyler flipped of the shorter, turning back to the half-forgotten card game on the table, Craig rolling his eyes from the taller’s side.

“Pizza’s on the way.” Evan seemed to accept that, walking over to Jon and wedging himself between the shorter and Nogla, heavy arm immediately being thrown around his shoulders. Jonathon basically melted, moulding into the warm side he was squashed against, a soft sigh escaping him. Most of the guys had turned back to the card game, and Luke seemed content just to roll his eyes, meaning he could relax into the welcoming atmosphere, listening to Evan’s honey voice as the younger caught up with Nogla.

Apparently he was comfortable enough to doze off, despite Tyler and Marcel’s yelling, and rewoke to the smell of cinnamon and pizza, Evan gently nudging him awake.

“Hey,” the soft word washed over him as he cracked an eye open. “You’re gunna wanna eat before Nogla steals your food. It’s pepperoni as well.” The last bit was said slightly teasingly, but it still made Jon wake up, immediately stuffing half a slice that Evan offered in his mouth, glaring at the watching Irishman. He proceeded to immediately choke, setting off his companions into fits of giggles, various breadcrumbs spraying forth. Melina and Simone shrieked, Chrissy too busy thwacking Scotty’s back where he had choked.

Cartoonz thumped his own back until the shorter could breathe again, hastily gulping down his forgotten drink on the table. Evan was still crying with laughter when he recovered, earning a sharp elbow to the ribs. They eventually calmed down, various conversations picking up again around the room that continued through dinner and back into games. They played MarioKart and poker, betting alcohol and used gift cards, until it was late, finally deciding bed was the best option.

The mass of people moved to the bottom of the stairs, grabbing various suitcases and bags, Tyler stood on the bottom step, arm’s crossed.

“Right bitches, I’ve got five spare rooms, and three have been bagsied by couples. So that leaves two double beds, the single bed in my office, and four couches between nine of you, which works out pretty perfect. So fight between yourselves, and there’s blankets in the closet for the losers.”

Before Jon could even open his mouth, Luke piped up.

“I’m taking the bigger couch, so you dicks can fight over the rest.”

“Me and Brycey boy will join you Toonz, make a sleepover.” Jon was about to volunteer to join them, when Lui piped up.

“I’m the smallest, so I’ll take the smallest couch and leave the beds for you guys. That and I don’t wanna risk sharing with Nogla.”

“Fuck you Lui,” the tall Irishman yelled before perking up. “Bagsy t’e single.”

“No one wants te share with ye anyway Nogla,” Brian snorted, ignoring the other’s grumbling. “I’m having Brock then, cause he’ll protect me from any wake up pranks.”

Jon gaped slightly, wondering what the fuck was happening. Did that mean…?

“So,” Craig began, “Toonz, Ohm, Bryce and Lui in the front room, Nogla in the study, parents in one room and… _besties_ in the other.” Both Jon and Evan winced at that, sharing an exasperated look.

“Try not to burn my house down you two,” Tyler groaned, turning to walk up the stairs. Craig followed, before reappearing with an armful of blankets and pillows. Jon narrowed his eyes at the Brit, who just stuck his tongue out. Then it hit the elder.

“Oi, where you sleepin’ Mini.” The other went red, but stared back defiantly.

 “None of your business,” was the slightly high-pitched response. Jonathon cocked his head, catching Evan’s eye once more, bursting into laughter at the mouthed “ _guess_ ”. Craig flushed further, walking away up the stairs, flipping them off over his shoulder.

“Enjoy Tyler’s dick Craig,” Brian yelled after the other, earning an angry yell from the already vanished Wildcat.

“Shut the fuck up, faggots.” _Hypocrite,_ Jon thought, hiking up his suitcase. He followed the crowd of people up the stairs, Chrissy being kind enough to show him both the bathrooms before her and Scotty split of. Marcel stole the only other room with a ensuite for himself and Simone, Jiggly showing Melina to the usual room they stayed. Nogla practically launched himself on the too small bed in the office, giggling and he burrowed down in the covers, feet hanging off the end, Brock rolling his eyes affectionately before he and Brian disappeared into the second to last room.

Jon followed Evan to the very end of the corridor, standing in the doorway and the Asian dumped his bags and sat on the bed, gazing round the walls.

“I stayed here last time I was round. It’s a good bed,” the Asian cheeked, waggling his eyebrows. Jon perked an eyebrow, and the two burst into giggles, Jon stumbling over to join Evan on the bed, both lying head to head. Tilting his chin up so he could stare at Evan upside down, Jon grinned.

 “Hey,” he whispered. Evan copied his action, whispering his own soft greeting. “I’m really glad you came. I thought for a while…” he trailed off uncertainly, wondering if Evan would ever tell him just what had been bothering the Canadian. But instead of an explanation, the younger just rolled, leaning over his face ( **AN: Like a spiderman kiss but lying down** ), smiling that wonderful smile that Jon felt was just for him, that softened the Asian’s features into affection, eyes warm and welcoming.

“Like I’d miss out on seeing you idiots again. You guys are my family, whether you like it not.”

The statement warmed Jonathon’s whole chest, making his own smile return.

“And your, ours Ev.”


	34. Murder and Sweaters

**Evan’s POV:**

He woke from his sleep to the sounds of shouting echoing throughout the house, not opening his eyes until a sharp crash joined the noise. He squinted at the light that was leaking through the curtains, vision half blocked by the brown fluff his face was pressed into. Jon was snuggled against his chest, slim fingers gripping his t-shirt, head tucked under the Asian’s chin. Evan’s own arms were wrapped around the smaller’s waist, leg crooked around one of Jon’s own to completely entwin them. He ignored the racket downstairs, taking a moment to bask in the warmth of his friend and the morning sun.

He felt as if he could drift back off when the door was thrown open, Brock appearing looking harried.

“I hate to interrupt, but I need your help Evan. Tyler is on the verge of murder.” Evan huffed a sigh, but before he could shift another shout rang out, making Jon stir, groaning as his gripped doubled. Ignoring Brock’s chuckles, the now trapped Canadian loosened his own grip, hand coming up to run through messy brown hair, immediately quieting Jon’s grumbling, a soft sigh escaping the American.

“You gotta let me up Del,” he murmured in the man’s ear, getting a sleepy whine in return. He let out a breathy laugh at the elder’s cuteness, hand lowering to work out the pale one in his shirt. “Come one, you can stay in bed.” Bright blues cracked open then, glaring up at him sleepily.

“My teddy.” Evan snorted at that, poking Jon softly in the ribs in hopes of removing the insanely cute pout from his lips, and _how could one man look so kissable when he’s half asleep._ Brock decided to throw in his own few words.

“I’m sorry Jon, but I really need him. None of us are strong enough to restrain Wildcat.” Jon let out another whine, hands clamping back down from where Evan had moved them, head shaking as his eyes slid shut once more, narrow form relaxing back into Evan. Said hostage just sighed once more, poking a little harder this time. Flinching at the prod, the paler man finally rolled away, burrowing down in the covers and allowing Evan to rise to his feet. He gave one last grin to the tuff of brown sticking out of the duvet, before moving towards the grinning Brock in the door.

“You guys are ridiculously cute, you know that,” Moo cheeked as they hurried down the stairs, Evan not even having the chance to glare before they reached the bomb site that was the kitchen. He couldn’t help but pause in shock, brain taking a minute to process the car crash in front of him. Brian, Lui, and Bryce were covered head to toe in flour, Simone was attempting to calm Marcel, whom was red in the face with what appeared to be egg in his hair. Scotty and Jiggly were dripping wet, Chrissy doubled over laughing and Melina looking confused and a tad concerned, next to Cartoonz and Ohm who were calmly sipping at mugs of coffee. Craig was sat on the side, munching away at an apple, eyes trained on Tyler.

 The tall man was the focus of the attention, face furious, spatula in hand, facing off with a battered covered Nogla who was desperately trying to keep the island between the two. A bowl of batter and several pieces of fruit scattered the floor. Ice blue eyes suddenly flashed, spatula being launched towards Nogla, who ducked with a yelp. The utensil clattered to the floor, sliding through batter to rest at Evan’s feet, who sagged with exasperation, before calling out.

“Alllllrrriiigghhhtt, lets calm down here, nothing to see. Tyler put down the pan, you can’t murder Nogla.” The taller let out a furious cry, eyes flashing to the Asian.

“Like fucking hell I can’t, do you see what this shit has done to my fucking kitchen,” came as a roar. “He’s got fucking shit in every single fucking tiny butthole of a crack.” Evan just crossed his arms and popped a hip, listening to David’s return whine of,

“I was trying te make breakfast for everyone.” Heaving another long sigh, the Canasian resisted the urge to rub his temples.

“Yes Nogla, and that was nice. But you also got food fucking everywhere, so you’re gunna clean it up so Wildcat doesn’t decapitate you.” Tyler relaxed slightly at that, Craig hopping down from his perch to stand next to the taller, Nogla making another noise of protest.

“It’s Lui’s fault, if he hadn’t had scared me I wouldn’t have dropped te bowl.” Brock but in then.

“But did you have to make it a full out food fight?” His friend sound as exasperated as Evan felt, hand rising to run over his face.

“Look, here’s what we’re gunna do. You were involved in the throwing of food or liquids, you help clean up.” Lui shrugged, Bryce just grinning happily at them all. Nogla looked a smidgen more relieved, but Brian let out a whine.

“Do we haf to?” Brock’s eyes narrowed, glaring down the Irishman.

“Yes, now get to work. Anthony, Scott, don’t even think of sneaking off or I’ll fucking ground you for a month,” was snapped out, the two deserters spinning with a guilty look upon their faces. Mumbled _yes Mom_ ’s came from the room, head’s being hung. A warm presence appeared at Evan’s shoulder, uttering a confused sound.

“What the actual fuck happened here?” Evan turned, brain immediately malfunctioning upon the sight of his friend. He barely heard Luke’s mumbled _food fight_ , too busy fighting the urge to pin the smaller against a wall. Jon was wearing his hoodie, way too large for the elder’s slimmer frame, sleeves hiding pale fingers whilst the hem hung down to his thighs. And by Christ, did he look good in it. A way of possessive bliss rolled through the tanned man, body heating at the sight. _And he thought Jon looked good in his branded clothes…_ he couldn’t help but throw his arm back around the clown, heart melting at the sleepy grin he got back.

Attempting to get his heart rate back under control, he rescanned the room, watching Tyler calm as Craig rubbed his back, Brock pulling various cleaning supplied out of the closet, Chrissy attempting to help remove the egg shell from Marcel’s hair. Shaking his head slightly, he gestured at Mini, both of them proceeding to guide their companions towards the living room, Toonz and Ohm following. Chrissy and Melina soon joined, Marcel giving in for a shower, and Simone helping Brock supervise. They let Tyler pick the channel, not wanting to wind up the man anymore, before relaxing into their seats.

Jon was tucked into his side much like the night before, scrolling through his phone, angled so Evan could see the screen as well. They browsed through a few tweets, giggling at a meme, before Chrissy spoke up.

“Sooooo, are we gunna talk about how Jonathon is wearing Evan’s sweater, cause that is cute as shit.” Evan could feel the blood rushing to his face, head tilting back in a hopeless groan.

“Wait this is Vanoss’s?” The confusion in Jon’s voice made Evan lift his head again, frowning down at the smaller, along with most the room.

“Dude, it’s like six times too big for you, plus it has a hockey stick on it,” Ohm blurted, head tilting. Jon looked down, as if seeing the hoodie for the first time.

“Oh…” Toonz snorted.

“Yah, he don’t exactly function in the mornings, so I wouldn’t bother.” Jon shot a small glare at the bearded man, Evan huffing a giggle at the feisty look in those blues.

“Fucking fight me Cartoonz. And I just picked it up on my way out… sorry Ev.” Grinning down, Evan just shook his head.

“No problem, it was a mistake. And Chrissy’s right… you do look cute.” He burst out laughing at the yell of protest, allowing small hands to bat at his chest, secretly basking in the truth behind the words.


	35. Gossip

**Jonathon’s POV:**

By the time the kitchen had been cleaned it was almost lunch, Jon’s stomach growling loudly with hunger. He let out an impatient whine, only to launch to his feet when Brock appeared, announcing breakfast had been remade as a peace offering, the elder man running into the kitchen with Ohm hot on his heels. The other’s followed at a more leisurely pace, entering just as Jon shoved a slice of bacon in his mouth, moaning at the taste. Toonz slapped him on the upside of his head, filling a plate and leaning against the counter beside his brother, eyebrows raised in sass.

Jon just grumbled at the taller, loading up his own plate with eggs, bacon and waffles, hopping to sit on the side. The room was soon filled with people, all munching through food, Simone passing Marcel a plate when he returned, hair damp. Half way through, Tyler sighed, swallowing his mouthful.

“You cunts make a pretty good breakfast. Consider your debt paid.” Nogla and Brian both cheered at that, Lui letting out a squeaked ‘hooray’. “So what’s the plan after this?”

“Well,” Brock started “We could go out, but I know some of the guys wanted to do videos, plus it’s a good day, and you have a pool…”

“It was winter like a month ago,” Craig deadpanned, eyebrow raised.

“So?” Jiggly snarked back, grinning wickedly. “I ain’t no pansy.” Bryce joined in.

“Not to mention, it’s warmer here cause it’s spring.” The younger boy looked excited at the idea of swimming, grinning widely when Jon caught his eye. He grinned back, own excitement increasing at the thought of spending some time out in the sun.

Brock hummed looking thoughtful.

“Gotta agree with Bryce there,” he began, shooting his own smile at the now bouncing gamer. “But before we do anything, Delirious, Evan, are you guys gunna get changed?” The two glanced at themselves, Jon realising that the others were all clothed for the day, whilst they were still in their pjs. He shared a grin with the Canadian, who winked back before turning to Brock.

“I would have been ready if you hadn’t dragged me out of bed in such a hurry,” the younger drawled, cocking a dark eyebrow as a cheeky smile graced his face, making Jon giggle. Brock just rolled his eyes in return.

“I’m sorry you couldn’t wake up on time,” was the blunt reply from their Mom friend, earning several ‘ooooo’s. “Now mush, both of you.” Both men whined playfully, Jon sliding down from the counter to join Evan by the door.

“Do we haaaaavvvveee tooooooo?” Jon knew he sounded childish, but the giggles were starting to build every time he caught Evan’s eye, plus he didn’t really want to give up the cinnamon scented hoodie he had accidently stolen.

“Yeah, we’re kinda enjoying the view of Evan in a too small shirt.” Melina immediately clapped her hands over her mouth, as if she didn’t mean to let the words out, when everyone swivelled in her direction. Panda let out a squawk of protest, Chrissy bursting into laughter as Simone patted the distressed girl’s shoulder. Evan himself just looked a tad shocked, along with the rest of the room, not expecting the usually quiet girl to burst out with that.

“Don’t worry Mel, we were all thinking it,” Simone soothed, earning a muffled groan. Chrissy nodded through her tears, doubling over as she gasped for air. The boys all exchanged a confused look, Jon catching the tinge of pink working up the side of Evan’s neck. He had to agree with the girls himself, having almost drooled when Evan had come back from changing the night before, half wondering how he could sleep in a shirt so tight. It defined the mans muscled shoulders and chest perfectly, sleeves stretched around firm biceps. Though the current picture was even better, tanned skin flushing red in the taller’s embarrassment, combining Jon’s love for the cute and the sexy side of Evan Fong.

His heart rate picked up when the Asian turned to him, grinning awkwardly, hand running nervously through black locks that looked amazingly soft. Jon had to wonder if he could burrow his hands there, and feel the softness for himself, perhaps whilst that gorgeous mouth did unspeakable things to his body…..

A tanned hand waved in front of his face, snapping him back to the present.

“You ok there Jon?” Brown eyes were filled with concern, previous embarrassment forgotten. “You look a bit spaced out.” Flushing slightly himself, he gave his head a shake, smiling up at his friend.

“I’m ok. Just lost in thought I guess.” That made the worry vanish, soft grin coming back.

“Busy going delirious?” The Canadian cheeked, laughing when Jon swatted him, giggling himself.

“Fucking awful joke. Now come on, before these fucker’s get impatient.” He grabbed the other’s wrist, attempting to ignore how his palm tingled at the contact as he yanked the younger towards the stairs. They ended up racing, shoving each other playfully in their race to reach the room, laughter echoing through the house.

**Meanwhile:**

“Please tell me we’re gunna talk how perfect they are together,” Bryce blurted once the pair were out of earshot, earning several groans from the room.

“You’re telling us,” Brian mumbled, downing the last of his coffee, clean of all traces of flour. “They’ve been doin’ tis te whole time they’ve been near each ot’er.”

“Fucking gay as shit,” Tyler threw out, still munching on a piece of bacon.

“Well duh,” Scotty piped out, eyes rolling. Ohm spoke up next, straightening from his slouched position.

“I mean, Jesus. They are literally wearing each other’s clothes, and Del was one hundred percent mentally undressing Evan just then, not to mention Evan’s ‘friendly arm’ constantly on Del’s shoulders.” The man sounded disbelieving, fingers waggling in quote marks. “How are they not together??”

“And this is why we made them share a room,” Lui added, grinning evilly. Brock let out a snort, hand lifting to muffle the giggles that formed when eyebrows rose. Craig suddenly smirked.

“They were cuddling, weren’t they?” Brock just smiled, tapping his nose before breaking down in a fit of giggles.

“Juicy details, now,” Chrissy demanded, scooting her seat toward the knowing party. Brock took a moment to calm himself, glancing around and lowering his voice as if giving out the world’s dirtiest secret.

“Yeah they were cuddling, but when I tried to get Evan, Jon wouldn’t let him go. Called him his teddy and everything. Evan didn’t even shove him off, just gave him that dopey look he gets around Jon and petted his hair.” The room exchanged a grin, a couple of awws being brought forth. Cartoonz joined in.

“Delirious is definitely not a big cuddler either. I let the dude sleep in my bed once a few years ago, and he managed to kick me in the face and onto the fuckin' floor.” Brock smiled sneakily once more.

“Well they were definitely cuddling, legs entwined and everything. Hell, Jon was basically on top on our oblivious Canadian.”

“What does entwined mean?” Nogla queried, head tilting at the exasperated groans. “What?”

Brian just patted the man’s head like he was a dog.

“You’ll learn when your older.”


	36. Pool Day

**Evan’s POV:**

Jon stole away to the bathroom to change, leaving the Canadian to pull his swim trunks on in the bedroom. He was glad he thought to bring some as he yanked on a t-shirt (one of his baggier ones, his neck was still hot from Melina’s comment), grabbing his towel and wandered back down the stairs. He heard the laughter of the group echoing towards him, grinning as he stepped off the bottom step, only to have an obviously shirtless blur shoot past him, yelling illegibly.

Evan jogged after him, hearing the surprise of the others, before the noise of the backdoor opening, and a very hyper Jon yelling ‘Canon Ball’, and a large splash. He exchanged an exasperated look with Brock as he passed, getting outside just in time to see Jon’s head break the surface of the water. The smaller man had his arms locks around himself, displeased look on his face and hair full of leaves.

“I’m freezing my fucking balls off,” the elder yelped, scrambling towards the ladder. Tyler joined Evan, snorting at their friend.

“No shit dude. And couldn’t you have waited until I got the crap out? Those leaves have been in there all fucking winter.” Jon just shook his head violently, spraying the two with leaves and water droplets, ignoring their yells of protest. Evan raised an eyebrow as Tyler began to chase Del, doing several laps around the pool before Jon decided to hide behind the Canadian. Water soaked through the back of his shirt as Jon huddled close, zapping his warmth away, making him shove the shorter away, ignoring the whine of protest.

“Didn’t you bring a towel?” He questioned, watching goose bumps rise on pale skin, trying not to follow the water drops where they dripped down faint abs. His eyes wandered across Jon’s chest, noting the lean muscle and fine hair, narrow waist and faint sight of ribs. He almost didn’t notice damp hair shaking in negative, flinging more droplets onto the Asian. He huffed a sigh, sharing another exasperated look with Luke, before pulling his own towel from around his neck.

Jon seemed a bit shocked when he was suddenly draped in the soft towel, peering up at Evan with an almost shy smile, snuggling cutely into the fabric. Evan ignored his pounding heart, rolling his eyes at the smaller before going to flop in one of the various deck chairs on the porch, most chairs in the shaded area already having been taken. Brian flopped in the seat next to him, sunglasses on and beer next to him. Evan pulled on his own sunglasses as Bryce bounced over, Brock following whilst muttering about the red head needing sun cream only to be yanked by Evan’s Irish companion, being made to squeeze on the chair beside the taller, squished under a pale arm.

Evan giggled at Moo’s reddening face, earning a poked-out tongue as his friend snuggled into the Irishman, to which Evan just flipped him off. Bryce had sprawled out in the chair opposite, chattering wildly to Jon who was stood next to him, face tilted into the sun.

Brock threw a look at Evan when he noticed him staring at the elder, making the Canadian just raise his eyebrows, gesturing to the ‘parents’ of the group, before relaxing back in the sun. Marcel had brought out his portable speaker to play music, Tyler was fishing leaves out of the pool, Scotty started a card game, and the rest were relaxing. Evan grinned, feeling at home once more in the company of his friends.

Two minutes later a damp but warm mass flopped against his shins, Jon leaning his soggy head on the Asian’s knees as he continued chatting to Bryce. He couldn’t resist the urge to ruffle the brown locks, making them stick up wildly, earning himself a frown (but Jon didn’t fix it, so he counted it as a win). 

* * *

 

Two hours later Evan found himself next to Brian, sat by the pool, legs dangling in as they watched Lui and Mini battle it out in a game of chicken, riding Nogla and Tyler respectively. Scotty and Marcel had decided to make a try not to laugh video, and were both covered in a combination of spit and water, before giving in and dumping water all over Jiggly, who had been reading the jokes, their girlfriends being a live audience. Brock had eventually managed to persuade Bryce to sit in the shade, where he, Ohm, Cartoonz, and Delirious were playing Uno, Moo staying nearby to make sure the game didn’t become too violent.

The afternoon seemed peaceful, with the sun warming his face, and various birds chirping combining with his friend’s laughter, and Evan felt as if he could remain there forever. Jon’s shouts echoed over, the smaller attempting to strangle Ohm over the table, before being yanked back into his seat by Toonz.

A splash pulled his attention back to in front of him, just in time for a wave of water to splatter over him and Brian, both protesting loudly. Lui came up from when he had been sunk, head shaking as he glared at the cheering Mini and Wildcat, before shoving Nogla and blaming him for their loss. The tall man started whining in response, chasing the squeaker in an attempt to dunk him.

“YOU PLUS FOURED ME YOU BITCH,” Cartoonz suddenly roared, cards going flying as he launched towards Ohm. The two other players scrambled back as they began to wrestle, Ohm shrieking for help but only receiving hysterical laughter. “Bryce, Delirious, grab his legs!” Luke continued, hands locked around Ryan’s forearms. The younger immediately scrambled forward, grabbing the flailing limbs, Delirious still on the floor dying of laughter.

“Come one Delirious,” Bryce giggled, gesturing one handed. Jon eventually managed to stumble over, grabbing the free leg before all three men lifted the forth, Toonz nodding towards the pool. Evan was crying with laughter by the time they got the shrieking Ohm close, his captors allowing Moo to fish the rabbit decorated phone out of the masked gamers pocket before they launched Ryan into the water.

Just as Ohm surfaced Bryce and Jon threw themselves in, landing either side of the former, causing two waves to hit him, making the man splutter. After trying to drown each other, the three looked at Toonz, deviousness in their eyes (Evan would never get over how good Jon wore that look), only to watch the man tumble after Kino shot up behind him and tried to jump up.

They burst into laughter once more, Toonz glaring half-heartedly up at Kino, who was soon joined by Archie, both dogs going to greet Tyler. Craig squealed at the sight of Kino, coming to cuddle the dog, but the rest of them looked towards the house. Wildcat’s dad stood by the side gate, grinning at the sight of the dogs.

“Fashya ( **A/N: like how wildcat says in in Mini’s Would you rather egg roulette video, dunno how to spell it)** you have come to join us,” Wildcat called grandly, arms swept wide as he approached his dad for a hug.

“Well your dogs were pining for Craig, so I brought them for a visit. But you really have got a full house. How’s everyone doin’?” Evan grinned at the man, having always gotten on well with Richard ( **A/N: made this up** ).

“I see you are egg free today Rich,” Panda called out, getting up to shake the tall man’s hand, who just gave a full belly laugh. The additions that had appeared went around greeting various people, just as Evan felt something press against his submerged leg. Looking down he found Jon, half hiding behind the Canadian, wide blue eyes following Richard warily.

Bend down, Evan caught Jon’s eye.

“You ok,” he whispered, only gaining a glance and narrow body pressing closer to his leg as Jon went back to observing Richard. Tilting his head, Evan rested his hand on a pale shoulder. “Hey, he’s ok. Really nice dude really. And he won’t reveal you, he’s met Smitty and kept that a secret, and he’ll do the same for you, kay?”

At the still worried azure gaze, the Canadian made a decision. Dipping his hands into the water, he grabbed the others narrow hips, lifting the shorter from the water and dumping him next to the taller. Wrapping Jon’s towel (that Cartoonz had retrieved) around hunched shoulders, Evan threw his arm around the elder, pulling him close.

“You’re ok Del, I promise,” he murmured, earning a small smile as Jon wiggled closer.

“How’s my second favourite Canadian,” came from above, a shadow falling over the huddled two. Evan tilted his head up, catching the elder man’s happy gaze.

“Second?” he questioned, false offence filling his voice. Rich just laughed once more, grin a parallel to Tyler’s.

“Only to Wolverine,” the man cheeked, eyes twinkling.

Evan huffed a false sigh, fingers going to his chin in consideration. “I guess that’s fair,” he reasoned, grinning himself. “I’m good man, how have you been?”

“Good, good,” Rich replied, crouching to clap the Asian on the shoulder, before nodding towards Jonathon. “Who’s your friend?”

Jon flinched minutely, Evan just tightening his arm in response, before replying.

“This is Delirious, I’m sure you’ve heard Tyler threatening him,” he snarked, Jon raising his fingers to give a small wave.

“Hi,” he said, voice quiet and gentle. Evan heart almost bled for him, glad when Richard just gave him a kind smile.

“Yeah, I’ve heard of ya. Nice to meet you finally Delirious. And don’t worry about Tyler, he adores you guys really.” That earnt a light giggle for the smaller, Tyler himself letting out an indignant ‘OI’, before his Dad gave them both another grin, standing to go ruffle his son’s hair. “Don’t lie Ty, I know the truth. One upside to being your father.” That started the two bickering affectionately, attention off both by the pool.

Evan almost jumped out of his skin when soft lips brush his cheek, backing towards his ear and giving a whispered ‘thank you’ before disappearing. He turned back to the clown, only to find him about two inches away. He tensed, face warming rapidly, so quickly lost in liquid blue eyes. Minty breath washed over his own mouth, Evan unable to prevent himself from wetting his lips in an attempt to taste it, eyes locked on the gaze that followed his tongue. He stopped breathing when Jon mimicked the motion, heart rate kicking up to a hundred. _They were so close…._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyy guys, slightly longer chapter for ya, cause I'm gunna be unable to write the next couple weeks. I might be able to get another chapter up before friday, but there is no guarentee due to exams, the im abroad for a wedding. Thanks for all your wonderful support, I wouldve never thought my writing would be this popular, or that anyone woulld like it to begin with. Y'all are amazing.  
> Peace out xx


	37. NOgla

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last one before my holiday. See you in a couple weeks peeps!

**Evan’s POV:**

He and Jon had both frozen, eyes locked and sharing breath as they waited for the other to pull away. Evan’s mind had stuttered to a halt, every sense just filled with Jonathon. The piney scent, warm presence under Evan’s arm, the noise of his own breathing and pounding heart loud in his ears, and view of nothing put that gorgeous face made the Canasian feel like he was drowning.

He couldn’t help but sway forward, watching pale eyelids fall to half mast, a light blush creaking up Jon’s neck to join his freckles. The change made a rush of heart flow through the Canadian, mind zeroing in on shiny pink lips, wanting nothing more than to taste them. His own eyes began to close, head tilting slightly as their noses brushed.

A loud voice in his ear tore them from their bubble.

“Oii, stop making out and come have fun,” Nogla shouted, appearing by Evan’s shoulder. The two jerked apart, Jon falling back onto the grass screaming ‘bitch’ as Evan went tumbling into the pool, yelling.

“Motherfucker!” He hit the water hard, scrambling to plant his feet on the bottom before swimming up. He broke the surface, still balanced on tiptoes, and glared at the laughing Irishman. “Nogla! You scared the shit outta me, you bitch,” he snapped. The taller just continued to roll about on the grass, hysterically holding his stomach as tears ran down his cheeks, the other’s behinds him giggling as well.

Jon was sprawled out next to Nogla, giggling manically, eyes wide and wild. Evan flushed when he caught the smaller’s gaze, offering an awkward grin, to which Jon just giggled more, rolling away. The now soaked Asian just shook his head, turning to swim towards the steps, determined to ignore their almost kiss. That was completely not an almost kiss, more like a weird moment when he was wayyyyy too close to his best friend’s face, and the other was probably just squinting in the sunshine or something….

He was just glad the water was cold, easily sapping any remaining heat from his body as he rose out of the pool. Water poured from his clothes, dripping from his hair and legs. He continued glaring half-heartedly at the laughing group, grinning evilly when his eyes landed on Nogla, striding quickly over to the man. David didn’t notice his presence, too busy laughing.

Evan shook himself violently, flinging water all around him, the majority hitting the dark-haired gamer below him, leaving Nogla to scramble away shrieking.

Leaving the others too it, he began ringing out his shirt, running a hand through his own raven locks to remove some of the water. Brock approached with his towel, looking apologetic whilst still grinning, shrugging towards the taller Irishman. Evan just took the offered towel, rubbing his hair and face whilst groaning tiredly, frowning down at his still soaked shirt.

Sharing a look with his Mom friend, he sighed, yanking the dripping fabric over his head and towel drying his chest. Brock took the shirt of him, draping it over the back of a chair, and giving Evan a shoulder shake before returning to Brian, slapping the paler on the upside of the head.

Evan just heaved another sigh, accepting that this was his life.

**Jonathon’s POV:**

He ended up sat next to Toonz after Nogla’s prank, half listening to his and Ohm’s conversation about cats and their evil habits. He was mostly lost in thought when Luke’s arm landed on his shoulder, bringing him back to the garden.

“Stop thinking so hard dude,” Luke commented, earing himself a raised eyebrow. His brother just rolled his eyes. “I can practically see your brain turning, not to mention you haven’t stopped staring at Evan since he took his shirt off.”

Jon flushed violently, shoving an elbow into Cartoonz’s side as he grumbled, the older man laughing. Ohm leant over, face sympathetic.

“Don’t worry Delirious, I’d stare too,” the taller winked, Jon’s eyes immediately narrowing towards him, jealous side wondering if Ryan was just taking the piss or not. As soon as he glanced back towards the shirtless Asian, Ryan started snickering, reaching out to ruffle his hair. “Easy dude, I ain’t gunna steal your man candy. As gorgeous as he is, Evan isn’t my type.”

Jon and Luke exchanged a curious look, turning back to Ohm at the same time, who gave them a weird look.

“Freaking hell, you guys are related.” Both men just raised an eyebrow, question answered as soon as Bryce appeared, throwing himself in the older man’s lap, giggling wildly. Ryan just beamed at the younger, gripping his waist and nuzzling into strawberry blonde locks. The two shared a loving look before turning back to Jon and Luke.

Jon smiled softly, happy his friends were happy, but still feeling the painful tug of envy. His eyes once again drifted to Evan, watching the Canadian laugh with Wildcat and his Dad, all three sharing a beer by the barbeque. He couldn’t help but wonder if Evan was actually going to kiss him, or if he had just been imagining the whole thing. He hadn’t even though about kissing the Asian’s cheek, especially after the lack of judgement about his nervousness over Richard.

The craving to be back next to his best friend returned full force, hitting him like a truck. He felt his shoulders sag against his will, gaze still locked longingly on Evan.

“You gunna tell him?” Luke gruffed, dark eyes focused on Jon with an affectionate exasperation. Jon just snorted.

“No fucking thanks, I’d like to keep my best friend,” he snarked back, frowning at the other three’s laughter.

“Are you kidding me?” Ohm gasped. “The dude is completely into you.”

“Yeah, he’s constantly staring at you,” Bryce added, shoulders shaking as he giggled. Jon just flipped them off.

“Go fuck yourselves,” he snapped, jumping as a hand landed on his shoulder.

“Naww, is Delirious embarrassed to have te attention of Vanoss?” Brian sassed, laughing when the elder tried to hit him, only to have Brock lightly whack the back of his head, before the new addition spoke.

“Don’t tease Bri, we want to get together, remember.” Jon groaned as the others all nodded, earning a light shrug plus a lopsided grin from Moo.

Folding his arms, Jon opened his mouth. “Imma gunna leave if you all keep being bitches.” Luke raised an eyebrow.

“Leave us for who?”

“Evan?” Ohm teased, gaining a growl. Jon narrowed his eyes, glaring the grinning group down, before turning his head away with a _humph._ He caught sight of Evan once more, locking eyes with the Asian, annoyance melting away at the happiness he could see shining in deep browns from across the yard. They exchanged a grin, before Jon turned back to Ohm.

“Actually, yes. Fuck you guys, I got better people to be talking to,” he snarked, rising to walk over to Evan. His brother murmured something that set the other off again, but the blue-eyed man ignored them, sliding up beside the taller Canadian. Richard was telling Panda a story of Tyler getting stuck on the roof, and Evan appeared to be enwrapped in the tale, making Jonathon wonder if he would be noticed. His mental query was answered a second later, when the tanned arm appeared around his shoulder, fingers dangling to brush his shirt.

Jon leant into the Canasian’s bare side, heat of the other man searing through him immediately. Jon sighed quietly, content to stand and listen to their conversation, Evan’s occasional laughter vibrating through to him.


	38. Balls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my beauties! I have returned! enjoy the chapter, the end is approaching.

**Evan’s POV:**

Tuesday and Wednesday passed pretty much the same as the Monday, with the group just hanging out, making a few videos, getting drunk, and playing games. Evan and Jon remained glued to each other’s sides, giggling away at their own stupid jokes, ganging up on the other’s in various pranks. Their favourite had been the Wednesday morning. The two had stayed up all night, waiting patiently for the rest to fall asleep, before sneaking out of their room. Evan had slipped away the previous day to pick up some supplies, having the advantage for being known to disappear randomly.

The truth was, sometimes he just wandered off to have a moment to himself, finding the group a tad overwhelming in large volumes. Before meeting Jon, he would usually spend some time texting the American, whom, if free, would ring the Canadian to chat about the most random shit. They once spent two hours discussing the benefits of cheese in sandwiches, only for Evan to be located by a highly confused Brock, having overheard him passionately declaring mozzarella was the best for grilled cheese. The Asian man just shrugged away the questions at the time, feeling much more relaxed.

It was four am when they finally snuck out of their shared room, supplies in hand. They worked silently and quickly, supressing their laughter as they creeped around the house. Evan had set an early alarm, but neither could sleep as the sun began to rise. The first shriek echoed from Brock, who triggered the bedroom trap, a trip wire that poured glitter of the elder. Most the others woke at this, rushing out and triggering their own traps, Brian becoming ensnared as he tried to enter the bathroom, only to find himself in a wall of cling film, his thrashing only making things worse. A glittery Craig stormed downstairs, muttering about caffeine, before letting out his own yell. The whole downstairs was covered in half filled plastic cups, spaced perfectly even with the gaps just too small to step in.

Evan had been crying at this point, Delirious on the floor next to him, as they watched the chaos around them. An equally glittery Basically lunged for them, but the two had just retreated back through their door, barricading it for a good hour whilst the rest attempted to gain access to ‘murder their bitch asses’ as Tyler put it. They had been made to clean up their mess by Brock, and nearly fell asleep in their lunch, but considering he was still giggling that evening, Evan thought it had been worth it.

He woke Thursday morning with a smile still on his face, warm and comfortable. It took a minute for him to open his eyes, yawning only to gain a mouthful of brown hair. Pulling back slightly he discovered he had rolled on top of the smaller man, pinning Jon to the bed with his body. The other was sprawled on his front, head tilted sideways, allowing puffs of air to escape his mouth as he snored quietly.

Evan sighed contently, relaxing back down on the warm form and burrowing his face in his friend’s neck, enjoying the closeness whilst he lazed in the early morning light. Delirious hummed in return, shifting to snuggle against the tanned arm framing the paler form, the Canadian’s hips sliding to properly frame the elder’s ass. A flash of heat ran through him, causing mocha eyes to fly open.

“ _Shit,_ ” he hissed, whole body tensing. Jonathon shifted further, frowning lightly as he released a sleepy moan, body pressing further into Evan’s front. Said man bit his lip violently to hold in his own groan, firm ass grinding straight into his morning wood, whole brain shutting down as the remaining blood in his head shot south. Jon remained sleeping, breathing still deep and slow whilst he shifted with his dreams, unconsciously grinding against his cover.

Evan was panicking. His senses were filled with Jon. Piney smell, warm body, quite murmurs all distracted him, eyes locked onto the pale slender neck that looked perfect for marking. His mouth watered at the thought of tasting it, feeling that soft skin beneath his lips, marking the perfect flesh as his own. His heart was pounding, breath coming in short pants.

Jon stilled for a moment before arching up, ass rubbing firmly on Evan’s length, a small whimper escaping the smaller before a whispered “ _Evvvvvaaaannnnn._ ” The Asian man couldn’t hold back his own grunt of pleasure, hips canting back against his will as his forehead dropped to rest between narrow shoulders, eyes closing once more.

He knew he was in deep shit, wanting nothing more than to roll Jon over and take him for his own. His lust filled body fought him as he struggled to back away, only to hear Jiggly from across the house. The memory of where he was made the Canasian shoot up, rolling rapidly back onto his feet, and almost running out of the room. Darting out the door, he almost knocked Lui flying as he escaped to the bathroom, locking himself inside.

Making a mental note to buy Tyler a new house (if he wanted) for keeping spare towels in the bathroom, Evan stripped rapidly and launched himself into the shower, water as cold as possible. Shivering violently, he resisted the urge to smack his face against the tiles in punishment. He should’ve rolled off immediately instead of tempting himself _like a fucking idiot. You fucking thick shit Fong, you could’ve fucked up everything._

Twenty minutes later he was still stood under the cold spray, head resting back against the wall, water falling on his face. He flinched when a quiet knock came from the door, Brock’s voice floating through.

“Everyone’s downstairs, come meet me in my room if you wanna talk.” Evan remained still for another moment, before finally shutting off the water. He crept gently out of the room in just a towel, changed, and went to Brock and Brian’s room. He entered to find their adoptive mother sat on the bed, scrolling quietly through his phone, worry in his eyes. The elder only looked when he perched next to him, face filling with concern.

Before Evan could even open his mother, Brock threw out, “you need to tell him,” leaving the two in a stunned silence.

“What?” he eventually breathed out, eyes wide. Brock didn’t shift.

“You need to tell Jonathon about your feelings before you go insane. I don’t know what happened earlier, but that is not normal for you, plus you look stressed as fuck. This is messing you up dude.” Evan stared at Brock for a moment, waiting for the elder to give, but the stare that was returned was firm. He flopped back, hands thrown over his face, an exhausted groan coming forth.

“I can’t man. I told you this. It ain’t worth the risk,” he huffed back, tiredness echoing in his tone. Moo spoke again.

“So you’re going to torture yourself instead?” Tanned hands flew away from his face as he shot up, frown gracing his brow.

“Yes, if that’s what it takes. And you’re not exactly one to talk. You’ve been hiding your feelings from Brian for _years_ ,” he snapped, teeth gritted as he glared down the other. “So don’t fucking tell me to go confessing when you don’t even have the balls.”

He knew it was harsh, and Brock didn’t deserve his anger, but the situation had left him riled up. Brock, to his credit, didn’t back down in the face of the furious Asian, just crossed his arms, and rose a brow.

“One, this is exactly what I meant. You’re getting defensive, which isn’t you Ev. And two, my situation is different, as there is no way in hell that Brian likes me back, whilst everyone can tell Jon is head over heels for you.”

“Bullshit,” Evan snapped back, arms crossing. “Brian fucking adores you, and if you tell him he would stop pretending to be straight, and fucking admit it.”

Brock froze at that, eyes flashing. Evan had to wonder if the usually calm man would hit him, muscles tensing under his friend’s shirt. But Moo just took a deep breath, and stood, gesturing for the younger to follow him down the stairs. Evan did, hovering a few steps back to avoid potential bruises. He remained quiet, watching the dark-haired man stride across the kitchen, grabbing everyone’s attention as he halted in front of Terroriser.

Brock didn’t allow the Irishman to speak, clamping a hand over his mouth before he could question the elder, before taking a large breath.

“Brian, I have been advised it is in my best interests to tell you I am one hundred percent in love with you.” Ignoring the dropped jaw, Moo ploughed on. “I have been for years, pretty much since we first met, and you started making those stupid jokes, and running your hand through your stupid sexy hair. I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want to lose your friendship. And I still don’t. So, in the likely event you don’t return these feelings, that is ok, I’m quite happy being your friend, and ignoring this ever happened. So you choose where to go from here, and I hope this won’t destroy our friendship.”

At that, Moo turned away from the gaping man, ignoring the shocked room, and locking eyes with Evan.

“Fight me,” was all the mom friend got out before Brian lunched forward, spinning the shorter, and dipping him into a passionate kiss.


	39. Realisation

**Evan’s POV:**

He stood gaping at the pair, in shock at the insanely ballsy move from Brock, as the other’s broke out cheering. Brock was hanging from Brian’s shoulders, eyes wide with disbelief and a hint if hope. The dark eyes quickly shut, relaxing into the kiss and returning it with fervour. The pair slowly straightened before splitting, both panting slightly.

“How in te world of fock could ya t’ink not tellin’ me was a good idea, huh?” Brian murmured, sharp blue eyes overly bright, Brock’s mouth quirking as he responded.

“I was scared I’d lose you, Bri. I thought I could live with it, just be happy being your friend, not taking the risk. But I had some help realising how idiotic that was, and how much I was suffering because of it,” Brock replied, resting his forehead against the Irishman’s.

Evan watched the process, chest tight with emotion. He couldn’t fault Brock, having supported TerrorSnuckel from the beginning, and was oddly proud of Moo for having the courage to finally admit his feelings, yet….

He caught Jon’s eye, azure irises unreadable as they locked with his own, flicking over his face before darting away. The Canadian watched a plump pink lip get caught in white teeth, smaller man nibbling gently at the flesh, light frown on the pale brow. Evan could feel him own frown forming, but was distracted by a bang.

“YEET,” Lucas screamed, launching his bag into the middle of the kitchen, before skidding to a halt next to it, Kryoz following at a slower pace. “Sup losers?” The room didn’t move, just staring at the arrived pair with confusion. “What?”

John just turned to the younger, blowing his vape cloud into the confused face. “Use your fucking eyes, dipshit,” the taller sassed, watching as Smii7y scanned the room, eyes finally landing on the two still holding each other in the centre. His face morphed from confusion, to disbelief, before splitting in a wide grin.

“FUCK YEAH, MOM AND DAD ARE FINALLY BANGING, WOOP WOOP!” he screamed, flying at the pair to squeeze them in a hug. John rose his vape in congrats to the confused couple, before walking off to rummage through the fridge. He returned with a stick of Salami, biting the end off, before muffling out a question.

“So what’s happenin’ with dis party then?” Tyler finally turned away from the commotion, towards the long-haired gamer.

“We gotta set up, which you can help with now you’re here. And stop eating my food you slut,” the tall man grumbled, arms crossed. John just raised a brow.

“I don’t appreciate your slut shaming Wildcat,” was the reply, before pale blues turned towards Jonathon, scanning the smaller with an unimpressed look. Evan twitched, holding himself back from stepping between the two. “Delirious huh? You’re pretty short.” The older Canadian in the room grit his teeth, taking a step forward, only to see a wicked grin flash across the freckled face he wanted to defend.

“I never knew your main job was being a fuck boi,” Jonathon sassed back, flipping off the taller, whom huffed a laugh in response.

Chaos then ensured, the large group splitting to either setup, shop, clean, or move furniture. Due to the extra guests, and the state the ground floor would be after that night, extra beds had to be set up. Lui agreed to bunk with Nogla in the single (leaving them wondering how the two would fit, no matter how small the squeaker was, the two were physically too big to manage), Scotty and Chrissy giving up their room and putting the Scotty and Marcel in Jiggly’s bed whilst the girls took Simone and Marcel’s, leaving a bed free for Ohm, Bryce and Luke to share. Tyler dug out an ancient air mattress, throwing it at Smii7y, who set it up on the deck for him and Kryoz, winking the whole time he spoke about fresh air and its health benefits.

Jon had offered to let Toonz share with him and Evan, but the bearded man had taken one look at Evan before denying, shooting the younger a sly wink, who flipped him off before being dragged out shopping. They went to the closest Target, loading up carts with various cases of beer, bottles of liquor, chips and dips.

Brian was in the middle of randomly grabbing sodas when he dropped the question.

“So, what did you say to Brocky t’at made him tink confessing was a good idea, huh?” The Irishman’s casual question immediately put Evan on edge, the Asian’s whole body tensing momentarily. It was only the calm way Brian continued to load up the cart that let him relax again, giving in to the curious blue eyes.

“He was on at me about telling Delirious, and I told him that it made him a massive hypocrite, to which he decided to prove me wrong.” His answer made him wonder if Brian would know what he was referring to, but the elder seemed to catch on immediately, nodding slowly.

“Well…” the other began again, “I’ve gotta tank ye. Brock telling me t’at… well, I getta keep ‘im to myself now, don’t I?” the last bit came out a bit wistful, Terroriser’s face moulding into the loo of love and content Evan had seen on Luke’s face all those weeks ago. The envy returned, stronger than before, Vanoss wishing he could be as free in his affection for Jon as they were for their loved ones. Sighing heavily, he turned away, pretending to browse a shelf of party snacks in order to hide his no doubt fallen face.

A couple of quiet beats later, a pale hand appeared on his shoulder, Irishman beginning again.

“Evan,” came the thickly accented voice. The Asian froze, by didn’t turn. “Bud, come on. You could have this too, ye know. We ain’t fuckin’ with ya when we tell ye he loves you back.” That made him turn, eyes wide, and mouth spluttering before he could think.

“What? I – you… look, ok – just, what? I don’t love him! Fucking hell, what the fuck are you on about??” he protested, backing away from the hand still on his shoulder, head shaking wildly. Brian didn’t move, staring at him with sad eyes. “You’ve got your facts mix up, dude.” Evan’s only reply was a heavy sigh, Irishman turning away to locate Scotty, who they found trying the climb the toy isle shelves, Panda below with a cart full of Cheetos.

“Don Cheeto dared him,” was all that was said, Brian snorting at a joke Evan didn’t get, before the manager appeared to yell at four-zero. It took them almost an hour to pay and load up, returning to the house to find disarray. There was stuff everywhere, the dogs running free, Richard holding a speaker whilst several ‘tech-savvy’ men attempted to hook up the deck. Luke and Ohm were moving various pieces a furniture out of the main room, clearing a large space for dancing. Evan stood watching the anarchy, only to spot a glimpse of blue in the hall. Following it, he found Jonathon and Bryce wrapping fairy lights around the stair rail, but not like normal people. Jon was hung upside down to hook the wires around the lowest point, his companion stood below untangling as they went.

He rolled his eyes, offering the rotated man ( _that he was definitely not in love with_ ) an exasperated smile, to which he got back a super cute grin, pale face red from the blood rushing to the smaller’s face. Snorting slightly, he turned to go and help unload the car.

Of course, he wasn’t in love with that lunatic. Evan would now readily admit his partner in crime was stupidly adorable, and more often than not, completely fuckable, but that didn’t mean he was in love with the dude. It was completely normal to be attached to his best friend, and want to spend time with him. So what if he also loved cuddling with Jon. Or sleeping next to him. Or waking up to that beautiful face. There was nothing more to the hatred that filled his soul at the idea of Delirious in a relationship with someone else. He just didn’t want to be forgotten….

Right?

 

 

_Fuck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By Christ I Love you guys. you're all so kind to me, and i just feel blessed to have such wonderful readers.


	40. Party Begins

**Jonathon’s POV:**

Something was wrong.

The party was in full swing, people crammed into Tyler’s house, and music pounding through Jonathon’s soul. He had lost Cartoonz a while ago, the bearded man having vanished from his side whilst he spoke with Nanners about some of the strange faces who were shooting curious looks his way.

He knew they guessed who he was, due to his signature blue hoodie and hockey mask, but none had approached yet. He didn’t stand out as much, due to Ohm wearing his light grey bandana in their pact to keep their faces hidden from the rest. Neither felt like revealing themselves outside of the friend group, only promising Droidd a look the next day should he decide to hang around.

Yet Jon knew the lingering gazes were all asking the same, who was under the mask. And he wouldn’t have minded if he was still with Toonz, or had Evan by his side, but neither men were to be found. Hence the problem.

He wasn’t too worried about Luke knowing his brother was most likely caught up in conversation, but his favourite Canadian had the American worried. The younger had been acting strange since coming back from shopping, going back to acting like he had after PAX with Jon, stiff and distant. He could feel the involuntary frown on his brow that no one could see, as he considered his friend. Evan had basically disappeared for most of the afternoon, volunteering for any job that required leaving the house, or being as far away from Jon as physically possible.

Delirious had tried to speak to him earlier, but on his approach, the younger had quickly found an excuse to vanish after only a few words, leaving the shorter frustrated and confused.

He remained that way as the festives began, eyes staying pealed for any sight of the elusive Canasian, yet unable to find him. Huffing softly, he weaved between the crowd in hunt for a drink, finding Lui and Droidd in the kitchen chatting with a British sounding man.

“Hey, Del, come meet Syndicate,” Lui called, gesturing the elder over. Jon recognised the new face from a couple of Evan’s photos from Vegas, throwing a hand out to the friendly looking dude. His offer was taken, the handshake given with a bright grin.

“Nice mask man, you planning on ending tonight with a stab?” the man offered, earning a snort.

“Nahh, it’s my night off from the murder spree,” Jon sassed, making the Brit giggle, and Lui shove him.

“My dad could woop your ass!” was squeaked hyperactively, sending the four into fits of laughter. They shared a few drinks, Jon taking the opportunity to catch up with Droidd, having not spoken to his friend in a long time. They chatted about life and gaming, making jokes about Cockatoos and poking fun at Lui. At one point, the group parents appeared, Brock almost squeezing the life out of Arlan, mumbling about his long-lost child. Brian pulled the shorter away, shaking his head.

“I’m sorry, he’s had a couple,” the Irishman grinned, allowing his boyfriend to snuggle into him with a dopey grin. Arlan just laughed, and congratulated the pair, starting up the conversation about how they got together. Jon phased out, bitterness filling his soul at the happy couple, glad his mask could hide any clue his face would give. He couldn’t be angry at the pair, they were only making each other happy, and he would never wish any less for the two. But with Evan not even speaking to him…

“…and Delirious, and the world will be right,” Lui chirped, making the masked man’s eyes shoot towards him.

“What?”

“You and Ev,” Syndicate gave helpfully, smile dropping at the elder’s sudden tenseness.

“There is no me and Vanoss,” he deadpanned in response, frown deepening when Lui snorted. “Got something to say, Monkey?”

“Nope,” the squeaker piped, dark eyes dancing with amusement. Brian’s hand landed on his shoulder before he could consider decking the shorter man, pulling Jon back a couple steps.

“Easy dude, he’s just being a twat.” Jon grumbled, shaking the hand off as he downed the remained of his drink. Lui had taken on the offended role, mouth opening in protest, only to be stopped by Arlan shaking his head, allowing Jonathon to turn away and walk off. Brock detached himself from Terroriser, stumbling after the elder, who paused to allow their Mom friend to catch up before continuing. The two dodged around several people, finding the backdoor and leaving the house to flop onto the deck, Jon tossing his head back in exhaustion. Wordlessly, Brock threw an arm around the shorter, allowing him to use his friend’s shoulder as a pillow.

They were silent for a while, both just staring at the stars above whilst the music thudded through the house behind them. The quiet was almost soothing, Jon thought, allowing him to just sit and relax for what felt hours.

That was until Smii7y and Kryoz came stumbling out. They were giggling wildly arms hooked around each other as they to collapse next to the other two, John immediately digging out his vape to take a huff and blow the steam into Lucas’s face.

“Sup Boyz, where’s ya boyz?” the Vaper croaked, ruffling Brock’s hair, who squatted him half-heartedly.

“Inside,” the elder sassed earning a raised eyebrow. Pale blue turned to the other Jon, gesturing for an answer.

“Lost Toonz a while ago,” Delirious mumbled, only to have the youngest giggle.

“Not Cartoonz, dimwad, Vannnnnnooooooossssssssss,” Lucas slurred, eyes hazy and unfocused from his place draped across his friend’s shoulders. Jon tensed, back straightening as he shot upright to glare at the Canadian.

“I have no idea where Evan is,” he ground out through gritted teeth, eyes narrowed and shoulders stiff. John slapped the upside of Lucas’s head, who just giggled further, before turning back to the other two men.

“Ignore him. I do have a question though.” Brock sat up then, allowing Jon to exchange a look with him before they turned back, both men raising a cautious eyebrow. “How come Vanoss is the only one you call his actual name? Like, you always use our screen names, even Cartoonz. But you call Evan, Evan.”

Jon opened his mouth to respond, before shutting it slowly, head tilting. _That was… a good question._ He’s never really thought about it, having called everyone by their screen names out of habit. Even Luke had basically morphed into Cartoonz as soon as he had adopted the name. Hell, Jonathon found it weird if people used his given name, the syllables not sitting quite right in his ears.

Yet it was so easy to say Evan, and hear the smooth Jon return. He never questioned the moment Vanoss, some random Canadian on the internet, became Evan, his best friend that he never met. Then he showed his face to the group, and still only Evan was someone more than just a friend to play with. Hell, Evan was no longer even just his best friend.

The younger man was his confident, his partner in crime, his go-to. He adored the other, and no matter how much he denied it, was one hundred percent in love with the taller.

His eyes landed on Brock, ignoring the concerned look to phase back to that morning where the other had taken the risk to gain so much more. And he was left with a cold shoulder….

Launching himself to his feet, he spun, ignoring the confused calls that followed.

He needed to find Evan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyy guys. I am so sorry for the late update. I've been struggling with working overtime, plus a horrible case of writers block. I hate letting you guys down, and am doing my best, but updates may be a tad slow from now on. sorry again, love you all xxxxx


	41. Hiding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyy guys, i managed to get another chapter out

**Evan’s POV:**

He sipped at his drink, barely noticing the conversation around him as he followed the brown topped head from across the room with his gaze. Evan knew Jonathon was looking for him, yet didn’t approach the shorter. He couldn’t. He didn’t trust himself around the elder anymore, terrified about what would slip out of his mouth. The last thing he wanted to do was confess his new-found feelings.

Hence why he was half hiding behind Tyler’s large form, in one of the darkest corners of the room. They and Marcel were chatting with Sark and Ze, Evan having long lost any idea of what they were meant to be talking about, phasing out early to watch Jon. He didn’t even notice went the words stopped, and gazes turned his way, until Basically was waving a dark hand in front of his eyes.

“Evan? You in there man?”

The shorter Canadian started, blinking in confusion as he shifted his focus to the concerned men surrounding him.

“Wha?” _Eloquent Fong._ Tyler seemed to agree with his inner monologue, snorting with laughter.

“Nice Ev. Jesus, did watching Delirious melt your brain or some shit?” That earned the taller a sharp elbow to the side, jet black brows furrowing as he grumbled.

“Cut it the fuck out Wildcat. There ain’t shit between me and Delirious, and there’s never gunna be. So drop the shipping crap,” he snapped, anger rising further as ice blue flashed with amusement.

“Then why you watching him?” Was snarked back, making the shorter’s jaw clench. Marcel thumped Tyler’s arm as Sark rested his hand on the Canasian’s shoulder, gently tugging as if that could stop Evan from hitting the group giant. Ze spoke from the sidelines, face confused.

“What the fuck?” The other Canadian questioned. “I thought you guys were together?”

Emotion flared once more in Evan, before zipping away just as quick, leaving him feeling exhausted and flat. He caught the concerned looks as his shoulders sagged, ignoring them to turn towards Tyler. He gazed tiredly into the curious blue eyes, releasing one more, heavy sigh.

“Answer this. Would you tell Mini?” He was highly surprised when Tyler snorted, rolling his eyes.

“I already have you twat. We’ve been fucking for like six months now, we just couldn’t be pissed to tell you dickholes because fuck that.” The small gathering’s eyebrows rose, various expressions of shock gracing their faces, mouths hanging open. “I don’t just let any bitch sleep in my bed.”

Evan scanned the self-satisfied look on Wildcat’s face, following icy-blue as they located Craig on the makeshift dance floor, twerking with Eli whilst shaking with laughter. The Brit looked towards them and grinned happily, flushing slightly at the wink his boyfriend shot back, before flipping the American off.

“What the fuck dude?!” Marcel exclaimed. “How could you not tell us? How could we not guess?”

“I’m impressed mate,” Ze commented, emotion gracing his face. Sark just shook his head, mumbling about hooligans and questions of why he hung out with them, eyes rolling in exasperation and fondness.

Evan just slipped away. He was tired of the company, deciding to grab a case of unopened beer and wander into the empty garden, collapsing behind a tree where he could see the sky. Emotions whorled as he opened a can, eyes unfocused as they found the stars, unconsciously tracing constellations he had learnt years ago. He was halfway through his fourth drink before he even noticed, vision blurring even further and making the stars hard to distinguish.

Snorting to himself, the realisation that he was getting drunk under a tree because he couldn’t cope with being in love with his best friend all seemed a bit ridiculous. He wished he could be as brave as Tyler and Brock, have the courage to tell Jon and be able to be together. But he couldn’t. The spike of fear that rocked his body stopped him, made him panic that he would lose the other forever, reminded him that he didn’t deserve to call the beautiful enigma that was Jonathon his own.

_Jesus Fong, you are pissed aren’t you? Enigma. What is that?_

He could help but agree with the more-sober part of his brain, dumping the rest of his beer in the grass and lying back to gaze at the leaves above. He giggled at the thought of hiding away in the tree, true Hoodini fashion, but the branches seemed to sway too much for him to work out a way up. He had no clue how much time passed before a figure appeared above him.

“Ev?”

It was Jonathan.

“Heyyyyyyyyy Delirioussssss,” the Canadian slurred, unable to stop the sappy grin that stretched across his face. “What you doin’ oot here?”

Giggles burst past his lips at the concerned look that came across Jon’s face, brain unable to locate the reason why he found the other’s expression so funny as blue eyes danced to the crumpled cans and half empty pack of beer beside him, before the elder let out a heavy sigh.

“You’re off your face, aren’t you?” The words seemed more like a statement than a question, but that didn’t stop the dark head from nodding vigorously, further chuckled escaping.

“Don’t tell Brock,” the younger whispered, as if the mentioned could hear them. “He’ll just get soberer to prove me wrong.”

“Evan, what the fuck are you on about?” the other questioned, crouching over the still sprawled man. Evan giggled once more, all thought of hiding from Jon gone as he reached up to yank the smaller onto his chest. The American released an ‘omf’ as he landed heavily on the Canasian, hands scrambling to prevent their heads smashing together. “What the fuck Vanoss,” Jonathon mumbled, face still heavy with concern.

 _As if I know,_ Evan thought, easily spying the saddened look behind the concern, knowing it was his fault despite his drunken state.

“I’m sorry,” he slurred, earning a surprised look.

“For what?”

“For being a dick.”

“You’re always a dick,” Delirious deadpanned.

“For being an extra dick. Specifically, to you. I never wanted to hurt you Jon.” Evan wanted to scream in frustration as Jonathon seemed to sadden further, small body sagging slightly as the elder sighed. He couldn’t hold back the whimper of disappointment as Jon rolled off him, standing to offer him a hand getting up. He almost fell over when he was upright once more, a warm pale hand pulling his arm over narrow shoulders to help support him, before dragging him back towards the house.

“Where we going?” Evan queried after a moment, silence grating again him.

“To get you some water and a bed,” was the blunt reply, making the taller halt rapidly. He could feel the cold breeze against his flushed cheeks as the smaller glanced up in question. “Ev, come on,” echoed in his ears as his arm was tugged, making the less sober of the two dig his heels in.

“No.”

Jonathon froze then, warm presence slipping away in order to face the Canadian, eyebrows furrowed in frustration.

“What?” Evan could feel the irritance radiating off the small body, observing the furrowed eyebrows, crossed arms and popped hip of his companion. He could feel the hunger building uncontrollably as he scanned the heated look in those darkened blues, heat welling as he took in those black nails tapping impatiently against the narrow chest he had seen draped in his logo.

“You’re fucking hot when your angry,” was all he managed to garble.


	42. Argument

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #FUCKINGDRAMA

**Jonathon’s POV:**

He stood gaping at the Asian man swaying in front of him, heat rushing to his exposed cheeks as he observed lax features, brain running at a thousand miles an hour. _Did Evan mean that?_ Hope built in his chest at the appreciative Mocha irises scanning his smaller form, hovering over his mouth.

Said hope was immediately shredded when a giggle burst from the taller man, cheeks flushing as he doubled over in laughter. Cheeks heating further, Jon slammed his mask back over his face. He regretted taking it off to talk to his friend, unable to help wondering why Evan was being such a dick.

Gripping a red jacket sleeve, he yanked the still chuckling idiot towards the back door, only pausing to man handled him through doorway, before pressing him into a chair and shoving a glass of water into a wobbling hand. Evan obediently chugged the liquid, and it was only Jonathon’s irritance that prevented him from drooling over the exposed tanned throat. He refilled the empty cup quickly, resisting the urge to throw it over the Canadian when he ignored it.

“Drink,” he growled.

Evan just blinked in confusion, head tilting cutely.

“Whhhhyyyyyy?” The younger whined. Jon sighed.

“Because you’re drunk, and it’s annoying.” The responding snort made his anger flare further, fists clenching. “What?”

“You,” Evan hiccupped back. “You’re mad cause I’m drunk and irritating, but it’s your fault I’m drunk.” A strong finger attempted to prod his chest, missing wildly to skim under his arm, but making Jonathon flinch anyway. His whole body tensed after, the accusation finally registering.

“What?” the elder repeated, jaw clenched, and eyes narrowed. Evan just giggled further, swaying on his seat and nearly falling off when he spun to face the entering Brock.

“Brock!” the Canasian crowed. “Look! I’m doing the talking thing! To Jon! You proud?” Brock froze, turning from Brian and Luke, brown eyes scanning between the drunk man and the severely pissed off one.

“Ummmmm,” their Mom friend paused. “What exactly did you say?”

All eyes shot towards Delirious as he released a harsh laugh, Luke immediately striding towards the smaller, who shook his head to stop his friend. Swinging back towards Evan, Jon stabbing a finger in his direction.

“He blamed me for him getting smashed,” he snarled, easily shaking off Luke’s calming hand. “I ain’t done shit!”

Brock facepalmed.

“You have,” Evan protested, stumbling back onto his feet. “You’ve… you’ve you! And that’s unfair!”

No one could get a word in edgeways as Jon’s temper finally exploded, hand’s flailing wildly as he began shouting.

“What the fuck?! YOU were the one who decided to fucking ignore me! YOU are the one who never says what’s going on in his head! You decided to be a pussy and get drunk instead of just talking to me what the problem was! Why the fuck did you ever ask to meet me if you were gunna turn into a cunt straight after?!”

His chest was heaving with the force of his emotion, body trembling wildly as he faced down the now irritated looking Evan. He stared down the handsome face, unwilling to backdown from the fight in which he knew he was innocent.

“Because it thought it be fun! I wanted to hang out, have fun with my best friend,” was slurred back, younger man almost hitting Brian in the groin with a poorly thrown arm. Both men ignored the Irishman’s shout, along with the slowly growing group of people watching them, in order to continue their argument.

“Then why can’t we? Why do you keep doing this?” Jon could hear the desperation leaking into his own voice, the question digging deeply into his love of his friend.

“Because!” Evan shouted back, hands digging into raven locks as the taller began to pace.

“Because what?” Jonathon pleaded, eyes glued to the distressed man in front of him.

“Because you’re you! Because you couldn’t be like the others, you had to be different, and it screwed everything up!”

The room froze.  Jon could only hear the pounding of his heart and Evan’s heavy breathing as the pain washed over him. His focus never left that tanned face as realisation bloomed. He felt numb to the regret he could see building behind normally kind eyes, hurriedly backing away from the hand that reached towards him.

_How could you ever think he would love an idiot like you_

Heart breaking, Jonathon turned and ran.

* * *

 

**Evan’s POV:**

Luke shot after Jon, only pausing long enough to give Evan a death glare, before disappearing out of the house. The remaining people in the room remained still, mostly consisting of his friends, all waiting for him to make the next move. Evan blinked at their shocked faces, his own words ricocheting around his mind, screaming his mistake at him. Emotions swirled wildly within, fighting to come out on top. _Pain, regret, anger._

**_What have you done?_ **

His body jolted into action well before his mind could register it, fist slamming through the closest wall, making the surrounding party jump with surprise. His mind phased out the yelling that followed, the hands on his arms, and the pain across his knuckles. Brock’s now pale face appeared I front of his eyes, the man’s mouth moving urgently with words that Evan could not register. Brock was eventually replaced with Marcel, dark hands slapping his cheeks lightly, before giving in to half pull, half carry the catatonic man back outside.

Evan scanned the back garden for any sign of brilliant blue, self-hatred increasing tenfold when he released Jonathon was nowhere to be found. He remained plaint and blank as he was forced to sit on a deck chair, Ryan appearing to prod at his injured hand whilst Marcel kept hitting his face. The world seemed to be in chaos outside of his storm eye, people vanishing and reappearing whist having intense conversation, only for everything to halt when he spoke.

“I’ve fucked up, haven’t I?” The croaked question didn’t feel as if it should have come from his mouth, but the shocked looks pointing his way confirmed the fact. No one spoke for a beat.

“Yeah, you put a fucking hole in my wall you dick wad,” Tyler deadpanned, unimpressed look barely masking his concern. Evan stared at the American for a moment, before reality hit him like a freight train, hysterical laughter bursting from his chest.

More concerned looks were exchanged, Marcel going to move forward before Evan forced him back by swinging his hands into his hair, gripping at the strands. He yanked harshly, body shaking with the force of his outburst, half wondering why he was laughing until the moisture became apparent on his cheeks.

So he sat there, injury ignored as he completely broke down into sobs, understanding that he had just lost Jonathon for good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> love you guys so much. i don't deserve your kindness


	43. Breaking

Chapter 43:

**Evan’s POV:**

He was breaking.

The wall of emotion was washing over him, tightening his chest and choking his breaths. His hands shook wildly in front of his eyes, tanned digits curling into fists in a futile attempt to stop the motion. Each gasp that past his lips was like a saw on his throat, stealing his voice and silencing his pain. He fought to regain control over himself, the stares of the surrounding people burning into his skin.

He flinched wildly when an arm wrapped around his shoulder, whimper escaping his chest as a small hand wound its way into his hair, pushing the locks away from his forehead. Ohm reappeared before him with a bandage and disinfectant, gently cleaning and wrapping his scraped knuckles, Evan barely registering the sting, soft eyes giving him a sad look before backing away again.

Another arm wrapped around him from the other side, the Canadian finally turning his head to see a worried Brock, and a cursory glance to the other side revealed it was Simone comforting him, also supporting a look of concern. Shame added to his turmoil, unable to prevent the self-hate at showing weakness like this in front of his friends. He was meant to be the strong one, the person who was unphased by anything thrown their way.

It seemed Jonathon could break down any of his walls.

Shrugging away the surrounding arms, he stood shakily, furiously scrubbing at his damp face as he stumbled a few steps forward. He dodged Tyler’s looming presence, only to nearly fall into Brian, his intoxication obvious despite feeling much more sober. The Irishman caught him, releasing a heavy sigh as the Canadian attempted to escape once more.

“Easy t’ere bud, you need te sober up before ye go anywhere. Come on,” he stated, pulling Evan back towards the house, leaving no room for argument. He was lead through the side door, avoiding the crowd of people downstairs to slip up to the upper floor of the house. Evan managed to trip over most of the steps, only being prevented from cracking his skull open by Brian’s strong grip, which forced him to sit on his bed as soon as they reached his and Jon’s shared room. He greedily drank the water he was presented with, eager to be back in control of his body before he could fuck his life up further.

The next few moments just consisted of him drinking water and Brian leaving to refill his glass, the still thumping music seeming distant in the quiet of the room. Evan had to wonder if the people still partying downstairs had any clue that his world had just changed, that he had just lost everything because he was a fucking twat. His gaze shifted to land on Jonathon’s bag, a tiny burst of hope emerging at the fact the elder man hadn’t left for home yet, that he still had a chance to fix this.

Brian seemed to notice his distraction, discarding the glass to sit back down again. The Irishman watched him for a short while, making Evan wonder how much of a mess he looked.

“You look fockin’ awful dude,” Brian then stated, as if he knew what Evan was thinking. The Canadian chuckled flatly, shoulders slumping further, turning towards his friend with despair in his veins.

“I feel fucking awful,” he replied, body finally giving up to collapse back onto the covers. His head landed next to Jon’s pillow, nose being filled with the familiar scent his (ex-?) friend’s head had left there, over which Evan had had his melt down this morning. The event seemed to be years ago now, so much having happened since then.

Brian hummed in agreement to his statement, blue eyes calm as he scanned the depressed form.

“Makes sense. You probably deserve it for getting plastered like t’at and t’inking it be sensible to talk to Delirious.”

“And now I’ve lost him,” Evan murmured dismally, blinking rapidly at the ceiling to keep further tears at bay.

“Not really,” Brian returned, making mocha brown eyes fly to pale face in response. Evan scanned for any hint of joke, and upon finding none, the Asian propped himself up on elbows, face distorting in confusion.

“Did you fucking miss what happened? I basically told Jon I hated him!” the shorter protested, voice rising as he spoke. The paler of the two didn’t even flinch, gaze remaining steady as he argued back.

“Yes, but you don’t actually hate ‘im, do you?”

“Of course not!”

“Then ye just gotta tell ‘im t’at.”

Evan froze. It all seemed so simple when Terroriser put it like that, but…

“I can’t,” he whispered miserably, body slouching once more. “I’ll fuck it up, or say too much. I’ve got no control around Delirious, no time to think before I’m blurting out random crap.”

Silence settled over the room then, the two men occupying it lost in their own thoughts. Evan lay back down, content with having lost enough of his dignity to curl around the pine scented pillow, resting his cheek upon it as his eyes fell shut. He was exhausted, registering that it must be some ridiculous time in the early morning by now, his emotional rollercoaster draining away his energy. Yet he knew he wouldn’t sleep, the self-hate driving away his desire to dream, favourite smell even unable to smooth him with the knowledge that came with it.

Yet still, he couldn’t find the motivation to look when Brian sighed once more.

“Look bud, I’m not Brock, but I recon I can still see te problem here. You care about ‘im more than as a friend, and you don’t wanna tell ‘im in case it ruins tings.” The Irish accent was even and calm, yet still sympathetic. “And I’ve had tat, and I was te lucky one, having Brockster admit first.

But t’ere isn’t much ye can lose from here. No excuse you can make will make t’at’ll make sense now. You need to tell Del te truth and admit it all. Why you’ve been acting so weird, why you said what ye did. And no, I don’t know exactly what that is, but t’at isn’t for me te know. T’ere only ever been so much you’ve been willing to admit to any of us, and we’ve never minded cause we knew Delirious was your go to. But now ye bottlin’ everyting up, and it’s ruining ye, and as your friends, we actually give a shit.”

The Irishman stood, turning to face the prone form that refused to look at the blue gaze.

“We care bout ya Ev, and we care about Jonathon. And right now you’re both suffering, and we wanna help. So please, for te love of god, talk to the dude.” Upon his finishing statement, Brian moved to leave, only pausing at the door when Evan spoke up.

“I love him,” he croaked, pain washing over him once more. “I love him so much it’s broken me.”

It was almost a relief, saying it out loud, admitting his feelings to someone other than himself. Yet the feeling was still tainted by the loss and the knowledge the man he should be telling would most likely never forgive him.

Brian just looked at him, with eyes that were too pale blue to lift his hopes, and spoke once more before leaving.

“Tell ‘im then.”

The door shutting left Evan on his own once more, room feeling cold and empty now his friend had left. He stared blankly into space for a while, able to do anything but feel, until his eyes fell upon his laptop bag. His heart thudded as a baseline to the emotions he was choking on, helping his hands plug in the device to open his music program, need for music almost overwhelming.

God help him.

* * *

 

**Meanwhile:**

**Saving Private Evan:**

**Ohmgasm:** Well shit

 **Tittyjuice:** No fucking duh Ohm

 **EvilTwinPablo:** I’ve never seen evan like that. It was freaky

 **Razorscooter:** more like scary. He put a damn hole in the wall

 **FineWine:** yeah, my fucking wall, which I now have to fix. And why are we all messaging when we are in the same fucking room???

 **Mom:** Not now Tyler. And because we don’t want people prying further

 **Tittyjuice:** a bit late for that, I’m pretty sure everyone heard them yelling

 **Mom:** still, we shouldn’t be discussing their business where everyone can hear

 **Brycecream:** Brock’s right. People love gossip, especially about Evan and Jonathon. If this gets out it could fuck with both their channels

 **EvilTwinPablo:** that’s if they don’t do it first….

 **Ohmgasm:** good point, are they gunna be ok?

 **Pedobear:** Hopefully

 **LuigisDeathStare:** does anyone know where they even are?

 **Mom:** Brian’s with Evan upstairs

 **DarthVaderDePotNoodle:** Delirious and Cartoonz went out the front door. I think they’ve gone for walk or something

 **Marcello:** they better not leave

 **Pukeriser:** I fucking hope not or evan’s gunna be destroyed

 **Brycecream:** Brian!

 **Ohmgasm:** Brian, your back!?

 **420blazeit:** shouldn’t you be with vanoss?

 **Mom:** Bri, where are you?

 **Pukeriser** : I’m on my way down. You guys still out back?

 **FineWine:** kitchen

 **Pukeriser:** ahh ok. And Evan’s spending some time thinking

 **Marcello:** did he say anything?

 **Pukeriser:** only what we all knew

 

Brian entered the room then, observing his friends, their girlfriends catching up on the conversation on various borrowed phones. All men exchanged a look, before glancing at the fist sized hole in the wall, then turning back to each other, thoughts echoing the same.

They needed to see this fixed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi people. Just another note to say thank you to all you wonderful people who have supported this work. In real life I get ridiculed for writing fanfiction, but online, you guys show me nothing by kindness, for which im thankful. if i'm ever feeling sad I just go back and read all of your wonderful comments, and come out the other side smiling, knowing someone is excited for me to be doing this. I love you guys for it, and try to keep regular updates for you all. Sadly real life does get in the way, and im crazy busy more often than not, so sorry if i disappear for a while. I'm trying to give you guys the best ending im capable of, and am planning ahead constantly.  
> I'm off to start the next chapter, so hope you enjoyed this one  
> Till next time you fabulous people  
> Cheesewheel


	44. Pain

**Jonathon’s POV:**

He was running. The pavement was hard under his sneakers, deserted streets a blur through tear filled eyes, chest heaving with pain and breathlessness. He could hear Toonz behind him, begging for him to slow down, but the words just powered him on more, not wanting to stop and allow reality to catch him. If Luke reached him he would take him back to the house, back to the man who hurt him. At least if his legs were burning he couldn’t feel his heart breaking.

Jonathon’s knees finally gave way when he reached a park, collapsing beneath a swing set dirt and grass staining his pants. He gasped for air that seemed all too thin, flinching wildly when a familiar hand landed on his shoulder, gripping his hoodie to prevent escape.

“Easy, it’s me, Jon, it’s me,” Toonz hurriedly supplied, hand remaining as Jon broke down. Tears finally escaped his lids, streaming down pale cheeks as sobs escaped his throat, narrow body shaking violently with the force of his sorrow. Pain ripped through him ruthlessly, world spinning as he threw himself into Luke’s warm embrace, his brother’s arms unable to stave off the emotional hell from inside.

He wished it would all stop, that he could be free to process and plan, but his brain just kept shouting Evan’s last words, highlighting the loss of his best friend. He wanted to scream, to shout and protest, to go back in time to when all was ok, before he showed his face. Back to when everything was normal, where he could love Evan in the peace of his own house and know the younger man would never find out. Back when the Canadian was his Evan, a man who would joke and talk with him, when they could play without a care in the world.

He had fucked that up by revealing himself, and now the Canasian was most likely partying away, glad he had gotten rid of the burden that was Jonathon in person, content with the rest of his friends. The idea of Evan moving on so quickly made his heart shatter further, further cries spilling forward onto Luke’s chest, the elder man shushing him gently as they rocked in the dirt.

His mask was pulled off as soon as his breaths began to wheeze, Luke positioning him to gain maximum lung capacity, his brother feeling like his last link to the world. His shaky grip double, desperate not to lose the only person he had left. Cartoonz tightened his hold in response, murmuring promises that Jon could barely understand in his state, only able to let the familiar accent to sooth his damaged soul, anchor him to reality.

Eventually his sobs slowed, emotional toll making his body sag further into the embrace, having neither the will nor the energy to hold himself upright. The pain still washed through his chest, less acute now the initial shock was over, leaving him feeling empty and lost without the overwhelming panic and regret.

“’m sorry,” he slurred, hating the way he could feel his companion tense in anger, whimper escaping when his hold became overly tight.

“Don’t you fucking dare Jonathon,” Luke growled in response, words tight in an attempt to keep them soft. “Don’t you dare be sorry when you’ve done nothing wrong.”

The dead sounding laugh that escaped him was alien to his own ears, further tears escaping with the hopelessness he felt.

“But I did,” Jon choked, head shaking. “I fuckin’ fell for him when I shoulda known better, I showed my face when I was better off hidin’, and now I’ve lost it all. I fucked up and now he hates me, and I can’t fix it.”

“Oh Jonny,” Luke whispered over his renewed sobs, large hand running through his hair. “Evan doesn’t hate you. He fucked up big time, and I’m half inclined to never let him near you again, but he doesn’t hate you.” Jon pulled back at those words, struggling to focus of his brother’s dark gaze, reading the sadness that seemed to engulf his friend.

“W-what?” he stuttered, confusion adding to the whirl pool that was his emotional state. “But… But he said…” Jon couldn’t bring himself to repeat the statement. It all hurt too much. Luke just sighed.

“I know what he said bro, and I fuckin’ hate him for it, but I also know what he was trying to say. And the truth couldn’t be further from what happened if you tried.”

Jon pulled back fully then, sitting back on his ass to consider what Luke had said. He scanned the bearded face in front of him, attempted to work out what the other was on about.

“I’m confused,” he finally stated, head tilting.

“I know,” Luke replied evenly, eyes now calm.  “And you probably will be until Vanoss explains.”

“Why can’t you explain?” Jon argued back, frustration now beginning to build. Why was Toonz being so cryptic?

“Because you wouldn’t believe me Del. It’s like now, with the fact you don’t believe that Evan doesn’t hate you, because you have this idea in that thick head of yours that you should be hated and disliked by everyone.”

“It’s not an idea, that’s what he said!” He was pissed now, fists clenching as he leant away from Luke’s comforting hand. “You were fuckin’ there!”

“Yes, I was. And I clearly remember he never said, ‘I hate you Jonathon.’”

“He basically did! He told me everything was my fault!”

“That’s because he’s an idiot who was drunk enough to make a mistake,” was the calm response.  “And sadly, you’re not going to understand until you talk to him.”

Jon snorted at that, the situation having gone from world ending to just plain ridiculous.

“You want me to talk to him?!” he questioned, sounding a bit hysterical. “You want me to talk to a dude who basically just told me to fuck off, that I was the cause of all his problems?? No fucking thanks!”

“It’s either that or we leave tomorrow, go home and forget this ever happened. Cause I’m not letting you torture yourself by staying and believing you have to avoid him,” the elder shrugged, gaining an incredulous look. Jon did consider it for a moment.

He could go back, get Luke to distract the others whilst he packed, and head home now, go back to Greensboro where he could hide away from the world. He could still play with Luke and Squirrel, maybe with Ohm and Bryce if they were willing, do a few more lets plays. He could move on from this, learn his lesson and get on with life, forget the past few years every happened. He still had Cartoonz by his side, and that’s all he ever needed before.

There was a life to return to, a way he could restart. But it would mean leaving the squad behind for good. It would mean no more Evan. He knew the Canadian had spoilt him, the world seaming so dark and dismal without the other in it. Who would text him back at four am, when the normal world was sleeping? Who would encourage him to be crazy, wind him up to full potential? Who would send him stupid gifts to make him cry with laughter?

He may still have Luke, but he had been shown a world with more, and now he was addicted. He had a group of friends who cared for him, all with different personalities and traits that he loved. It would kill him to leave it all behind, no matter how easy the action would be.

Or he could go back to the party, confront Vanoss, and risk having his heart ripped out a second time. He could ask for the truth as find something much worse than this. Be told he was pointless, and should leave, go home and give up. He could have the same ending as scenario one, only with more damage to his soul, left barely able to function.

Or, in the very unlikely event, he could get Evan back. Keep his best friend, go back to how they were, fix it all. He could remain with his love for the other hidden, as he had done for years. They could be happy.

But it was a big risk, and with so much potential to blow up in his face, would require more bravery than Jon thought he had. Just the idea of going back to the house made him shake with nerves, heart doubling in rate. The pain of the previous incident was still fresh on his mind, and with no logical explanation to why Vanoss said what he did, had the chance to kill him.

He knew he didn’t want to lose his life as it was. He didn’t want to turn and say goodbye. He wanted to take the chance.

But could he be brave enough.


	45. Strength

**Jonathon’s POV:**

He sat with Luke in that park for hours, slumped against his brother under a tree, exhaustion making him drift in and out of sleep. The sun rising eventually woke him fully, sky paling from the midnight blues and purples it had been. Jon watched the bright reds and yellows appear, allowing them to calm him for a short while, feeling the break of a new day wash over him like a warm shower. The sunrise was like new hope, the mark of a fresh start. It allowed him to move in any direction he should choose, no matter how difficult or easy.

The birds singing mixed in with Luke’s snores, the elder of the two having managed to fall completely asleep, occasionally murmuring in his dreams. Jon refused to disturb him, even ignoring the buzzing phone in the taller’s pocket, choosing instead to watch an early jogger pass by. They were given a pitying look, as if the woman thought they were homeless, which Jon supposed they looked like.

His clothes were filthy from being in the dirt, face still sore from his tears. He ran a pale hand through brown locks, feeling the tangles and grease, suddenly eager for a shower. The sun was higher now, shining on their faces as Luke groaned at the light, batting at thin air in his unconscious state. Jon shook him gently, giving a tight-lipped smile as dark eyes met his own blue.

“We should go Toonz. I need a shower and to get this over with,” he whispered, exhaustion obvious in his voice. The two men stood and stretched, but before Jon could start walking back to Wildcat’s, his arm was gripped.

“Are you sure?” Luke questioned, calm as ever. Jonathon just shrugged back, giving a strained grin.

“Not really,” he reponsed, earning raised brows. Sighing, he continued. “I need to do this. I need to fight for this, Luke, or I’ll never forgive myself. Even if it kills me, I’ve gotta try.”

The taller knew Jon was serious, the younger rarely using his brother’s given name unless it was important. The large hand released him as dark eyes scanned his face, most likely able to see the desperation in him.

“You really love him, don’t you?” The question seemed to come from left field, yet still didn’t surprise the clown.

“Yes.” It was a simple straight forward answer, saying so little, yet so much. This wasn’t just a crush, some silly attraction he could get over. He had fallen for Evan Fong, and fallen hard, opening his world to the Asian in a way that would make it collapse should he leave. Jon didn’t want to go on without trying to salvage this, he didn’t want to be weak.

So, straightening his shoulders and taking a deep breath, the younger spun once more, and began marching towards the house, purpose in every step. Luke trailed behind, checking his phone and sending a couple messages before catching up to walk at his brother’s side, showing him his support in this battle of wills.

They made it to the front door before Jon faulted, having to take another deep breath before opening the door. The house looked deserted, cups and plates lying everywhere, various decorations hanging limply from the walls. Silence echoed where there had once been booming music, making Jon’s nerves double.

Cartoonz prodded him over the door step, floor boards creaking slightly. They scanned the bottom of the house first, trying to find any of their friends, only locating Smitty and Kryoz sprawled out on the deck, snoring their heads off, surrounded by empty bottles. The hole in the kitchen wall made them exchange a look, both curious as to how out of control the party became after they had left. They went upstairs, Jon pausing in front of his and Evan’s door, muscles seizing as his fear spiked. Toonz paused behind him, staying still for a moment, before reaching past Jon to twist the door knob and push it open.

The door creaked as it swung in slowly, exposing the room inch by inch, Jonathon’s heart ready to burst out of chest. Yet it was only an empty room that was revealed, clothes and bags still scattered across the floor, everything left where Jon had last seen it. Relief washed over him at the empty space, added on with the fact Evan didn’t seemed to have gone. In fact, the only thing missing was the other gamer’s laptop bag, which was curious. Having the careers they did, they were all rather protective of their technology.

Jon blinked at the empty bed, wondering how on earth no one of the other guys hadn’t taken advantage of it’s vacancy, when a voice from the other side of the corridor made both himself and Luke jump.

“Jonathon? Luke? Where the hell have you guys been? And why are you so dirty?”

Cartoonz’s defensive position relaxed when he realised it was only Brock, Jon not even having the energy to laugh at the Karate like pose his brother had taken. He scanned their friend’s worried gaze, shrugging a bit helplessly as an answer.

“Park,” was his single word response. Brock’s brow just furrowed further, concern deepening at Luke’s confirming nod.

“You slept in a park…” Moo questioned slowly. “How the heck were you not mugged or stabbed?”

“You’re asking us?” Luke grunted, eyes amused. “By the way, why is there a giant fuck off hole in the wall?”

Jon tracked Brock’s strange motions, watching as the younger’s body stiffed in response. He seemed to think carefully over his words, before opening his mouth to reply.

“Ah. Well…”

A door swinging open interrupted the mom friend, Bryce wandering out yawning and rubbing his eyes tiredly. It seemed to take the younger a while to notice the group staring at him, and even longer to realise two of those group had previously been missing.

“Del! Toonzy! You’re back! Are you guys ok?” Bryce cheered, rushing over to hug both men. “Where have you been?”

Jon phased out as Luke gave a reply, easily lost to his thoughts as he clumsily patted the younger man’s back. Brock was eying him with concern, to which he just blinked back, too tired to accuse the man of knowing more than he was letting on. Exhaustion was bone deep, only dread able to creep up at the sight of curious faces appearing in doorways, most likely woken by their second youngest friend’s loud words.

He really didn’t want to explain to the multitude of questioning eyes.

“Would you cunts shut the fuck up? It’s 6 fucking am. Either go to fucking sleep or be fucking useful and clear up bitches.”

It had to be the only time Jonathon would be happy to hear Tyler’s bitching so early. Shrugging at his brother, he went to grab some clothes before slipping away to shower. Multiple doors shutting followed his motion, only the low whispers of Brock and Luke remaining, Jon pointedly ignoring the fact they were most likely talking about himself.

He left the water warming as he stripped, pants sticking painfully to his scrapped knees, making him wince as he ripped the fabric away. His breath hissed from between clenched teeth as he stepped under the too hot water, allowing to wash the previous night’s regrets away. Various muscles began to relax, back aching from being propped against a tree all night, and legs throbbing from the running he had done. He tilted his head back, allowing the tear streaks still on his cheeks to be soaked off, brown hair flatting until it touched his lids.

The shower was like a warm embrace, and frankly, Jon never wanted to leave.


	46. Music

**Jonathon’s POV:**

The smell of pancakes and coffee permeated the house, making Jon’s stomach growl as he threw discarded cups into a garbage bag. He had eventually persuaded himself out of the shower, choosing to help clean in order to avoid sleep, wanting to be present when Evan reappeared. The rest began to wake a few hours in, hungover grumbling echoing as they fought over the coffee maker and begged Ohm to cook breakfast, the man obliging mostly to get out of cleaning duty.

Jon squashed his nerves with violent intent when Lui beckoned him into the kitchen, fingers gripping tightly at his hoodie sleeves, chipped varnish scrapping uncomfortably against the worn fabric. He couldn’t hold back the rush of air that escaped his lungs upon entering the room, in the form of a disappointed ‘oh’ at the lack of Canasian in the room.

“He hasn’t appeared,” was all Marcel gave, one of the many in the group watching the blue-eyed man. Narrow shoulders gave a shrug as Jon collected some food, eager to not draw attention to himself. Luke handed him a cup of coffee, the elder man looking dead on his feet, dark bags reflecting the shorter’s own. A dark brow rose, silently asking if Delirious was ok, earning a light laugh. His brother easily read the message behind it, a silent yell of ‘of course I’m fucking not.’

He ignored the frown that was a response, concentrating on his bacon as if it were the centre of his universe, listening to the quiet murmurs floating between his friends. He knew most were about him, able to feel the stares digging into his side, wanting nothing more than to cringe away and hide, but didn’t fold to the urge.

He was done being a coward.

Having finished his food, he drained the rest of his coffee, dumping his plate and cup into the sink before turning back to the room. Blue-eyes flicked rapidly between the now silent gathering, before sighing.

“Where’s the bitch hidin’ at then?”

The group seemed to jolt, surprised at his blunt question. Only Chrissy and Luke remained firm, the latter due to already knowing Jon’s plan. Chrissy just rolled he eyes at her flinching boyfriend, turning to face Delirious with an open face.

“We’ve got no idea. Brian left him last night before he vanished, and we all know how hard it is to find Evan after he’s disappeared,” the woman stated, eyes apologetic. “Hell, I’m pretty sure you would have the best chance out of any of us.”

A round of murmured agreements followed, Brock stepping towards the shorter man.

“We’ll try and help. More eyes make a sneaky Hoodini easy to spot after all.” Jon let out a light laugh at that, shaking his head.

“I wish Moo, but if Vanoss doesn’t want to be found, we ain’t gunna find ‘im. I only know where he is usually cause he tells me.” His hopelessness seemed to permeate the room, shoulders sagging collectively. Only Bryce remained bright, bouncing over to put in his two cents.

“Well, we just have to wait for him to come back there, don’t we!” The bright tone clashed oddly with Jon’s low mood. “All him stuffs still here, and Evan’s not likely to leave without it. So when he reappears, we corner and capture him.”

There was an eager twinkle in the ginger haired man, his never-ending optimism refusing to falter as Jiggly pointed out the obvious flaw.

“Aren’t you and Ohm due to leave today? I though you guys had important shit to do?” Bryce’s head tilted, mouth opening to respond, only to be cut off.

“Do you really think we’d leave now, Jiggles?” Ohm’s expression screamed disbelief as the rabbit themed man continued. “We are staying until this ship sails, or we’re going down with it. No exceptions.”

The whole room brightened as Bryce nodded in agreement, Luke landing a brotherly slap on Ryan’s shoulder.

“I’ll stay too,” Droidd piped up. “I’ve watched you two flirt for years, I can’t not be around we you finally get to fucking.”

Jon let out a shocked snort then, laughter bleeding from his companions, Brian releasing a loud “T’at’s what we like te hear, boys. Let’s get shit sorted!” Hope was high as they organised areas to search, marching out like soldiers on a mission, rather than over the top internet gamers. With food in his belly, friends on his side, and cheer in the air, Jon felt invincible.

But the feeling slowly weaned as the hours passed with no results, leaving the clown posing man feeling drained once more in the face of defeat. His feet dragged as he checked the upper floor once more, checking every bedroom and bathroom. He sighed heavily as he entered the office for what seemed like the hundredth time, body sagging heavily at the lack of Canadian. His body hit the small cot with force, unmade bed sheets feeling like a nest around him.

He wished he could find Evan’s nest, where ever the owl had decided to create it. Hell, they had even checked the roof of the house and surrounding tree tops, knowing Vanoss was easily fit enough to clamber up there. Yet after much swearing and sweating, their hunt proved futile, tiles and branches remaining free of missing men. If only he had been somewhere as simple as on the roof…

 

… _or in it._

Jon sat up rapidly, eyes zeroing the wall opposite. The door there was no very extraordinary. White painted wood, with a brass twisty type door handle, it looked like any other door in the house. There were a couple of dents, but much like the surrounding wall, they seemed to be controller shaped, faint evidence of Wildcat’s rage issues. A normal person wouldn’t give it much of a second look, assuming much like Jon had, that it was just a storage space.

Yet Jonathon distinctly remembered their first few days at Chateaux de Wildcat, with Nogla regularly complaining about the creepy and noisy door that lead to the attic, which Evan was determined to convince the Irishman was haunted. It had been Craig who told Jon it was actually where Tyler kept his drum kit and a few other instruments.

All too perfect for the musically inclined Vanoss.

The door did creak loudly as he eased it open, revealing a set of carpeted stairs beyond, light streaming down from the room above. Delirious waited a beat, ears straining to hear any sound, but only finding silence floating towards him. Taking a deep breath to gather himself, the masked gamer started up the stairs, keeping each foot fall as quiet as possible, body stretching to see over the landing.

From what he could see, the room was large and well-lit above, thanks to an array of lightbulbs, and a skylight on the far side of the ceiling. He managed to peak a flash of a black shirt before he rose above the level of the floor, finding the man he was so terrified to see.

Evan was sprawled across the floor, flat on his back, eyes closed and mouth open, soft snores escaping every time his chest rose. An acoustic guitar was lay hand over his chest, large tanned hands still lying softly on the strings. His laptop was open on the other side of the prone form, headphones nearby, screen still bright with the familiar sight of a mixing programme. Black hair was tangled mess, and dark circles plagued that gorgeous face.

Jonathon almost melted. People rarely got to see Evan like this, exhausted and chaotic in his natural habitat, surrounded by the effort he put into his music. And frankly it was something Delirious would treasure for the rest of his life. He took a moment to just soak in the sight, commit it to memory just in case he lost the chance to see Vanoss like this again.

He eventually tore his eyes away from the younger, focus now in the laptop and abandoned head set. His curiosity was strong, having always loved the pieces Evan created as Rynx, to the point where he had previously begged for an early preview. The Canasian usually gave in to his request, staying quiet as he played the music over his mic, laughing away any compliments Jon gave.

The man was humble as well as brilliant, and it was probably the reason the elder found the headset over his hair, and hand guiding the mouse to the play button.

He was silent as he listened, eyes locking once more on the sleeping man beside him, emotion rapidly mounting in his chest. The beat that flowed through his very soul was chaotic, bass jumping up and down, yet still managing to sound heart breakingly sad. The guitar chords were imperfect, yet full of feeling, an echo of Jon’s own conflict. Every note struck a chord in him, blue eyes beginning to water as the air was punched from his lungs.

His breathing was harsh when the sound cut of abruptly, song unfinished. It was like an uncut diamond, waiting to be polished to perfection whilst being amazing all the same. It screamed Evan despite being different from his usual style, and it screamed at Jonathon, making him shake. It was too much, but not enough, repeat button being clicked time and time again, pale hand clamping over his gasps to avoid waking his companion.

He felt like he sat there for hours, crying silently as he watched Evan’s chest rise and fall, full of emotion yet still at peace. He managed to drag himself away after a while, legs weak as he descended the stairs to find his friends once more.

Cartoonz basically had to catch him, the man concerned by Jon’s tears, only to receive a shake of the head. He took a minute to gather himself, drawing strength from his brother, and wiping his tears, before turning to their Mom friend.

“He’s in the attic, asleep for now.”

Brock rushed off, allowing Jon to relax into his new found seat on the couch, ready to finally confront his friend.


	47. Confrontation

**Evan’s POV:**

He didn’t remember falling asleep. Then again, he didn’t remember removing his head set and placing it over his laptop screen, yet that’s what he found when Brock shook him awake. Moo was silent as Evan gained his bearings, face giving away nothing. The Canadian just blinked at his Mom friend, wondering what had happened in his absence. Information was hidden behind those dark eyes, and he had asked before he could register the words.

“What’s happening?” Brock started. “Your hiding something.”

His oldest friend heaved a sigh, hand raising to rest on the younger’s shoulder.

“Jonathon’s downstairs. Apparently, he’s willing to hear you out.” Evan froze, muscles tensing so rapidly he thought he might get cramp. He must have looked terrified, because Brock’s face softened, hand squeezing firm muscle reassuringly. “Easy Ev. This could be your chance to fix everything.”

“What the fuck am I meant to say?” He croaked back, feeling the panic rise once more. The emotion was faintly tinted with hope, yet Evan struggled to focus on it. He had no idea how to approach this, let alone fix it.

“The truth.”

The laugh that burst forward was hysterical, echoing last night’s madness.

“You,” he giggled manically. “You expect me to tell him the truth?!”

Brock’s expression never changed.

“Yes.”

Evan darted forward, feeling completely out of control as he grabbed the other’s arms, shaking the elder as if it could help him understand the insane situation in which the Canasian had found himself.

“Are you fucking insane?! He would hate me for life.”

Brock just wrapped two firm hands around his tanned wrists, halting the motion with a firmness that only a parent could have.

“And he will never understand if you don’t. Do you really want to leave him thinking that you hate him?” Brock was as calm as ever, locking eyes with the frantic man opposite. “There is no way you can spin this that makes sense, no half-truth that he would believe.”

“But… but…” he stuttered back, panic receding for hopelessness. “What if he hates me for it?” The last part was a whisper, fear that Evan hated showing leaking through, leaving him vulnerable and exposed. But the eyes that gazed back held no judgement, just caring and concern.

“I highly doubt that, considering the idea of you hating him was distressing enough to make the dude sleep in a park.”

Mocha brown eyes widened at that, shock running through his system. His confusion must have been obvious, because Brock elaborated.

“I heard them come back, and they were covered in dirt. Said they’d spent the night in a park, though Luke recons Jonathon hadn’t slept.”

Horror hit him like a brick wall, hands retracting rapidly from Moo’s shoulders to run through his tangled hair. _Jesus,_ he thought, body tense. Anything could have happened to Jon, he could’ve been attacked or mugged, or _worse…_

Yet the man had returned safely, in order to confront Evan about his words, to seek the truth behind the Canadian’s harsh words.

He had a chance to fix this, to take back the mistake that seemed irreversible. Yes, Jon could still walk away, but at least he would know that Evan could never hate him, understand that it wasn’t the American’s fault.

He had to try, if only for Jon’s sake. 

* * *

 

**Jonathon’s POV:**

He sat for what felt like hours, pretending to scroll through twitter, when really the various words passed without his focus. His ears were straining for any footsteps coming down the stairs, flinching at the loud noises coming from the gaming lads around him. The violent game of Mario Kart was promising a broken controller, especially if Brian kept winding up Marcel. Insult were flying hard and fast, soon followed by a shoe when Mini was blue shelled, the Brit screaming in fury from his perch on Tyler’s lap.

The latter seemed proud of his boyfriend’s fury, grinning madly as the rage continued, making Jon’s envy rise. His relationship with Evan was hanging in the balance, and yet the world kept turning, everyone else stayed happy. It was torture to see his friends so happy, knowing he might have to walk away from it all, never see them again.

Ignoring the previous night, his stay at Tyler’s had been heaven, allowing Jon to indulge in the company of the friends he had had for years, the people he had only just met but loved with all he owned.

How could he go back to just having Luke? His brother was amazing, yet Delirious had been shown more, been spoilt by the company of his fellow gamers.

It’d be hard to leave behind.

He was lost in thought when someone cleared their throat behind him, Jiggly blurting out an ‘Oh _shit,_ ’ when he identified the people behind Jon. The whole room paused, eyes going wide as they darted between the new arrivals and Jon, tension rising rapidly.

Jonathon knew the cause immediately, body freezing as he struggled to keep his breathing even. _Don’t panic, don’t panic,_ he repeated mentally, forcing the imminent attack down with a strength he didn’t know he possessed.

Releasing a slow breath, he turned, gaze sweeping over Brock first, understanding the supportive look the other was attempting to convey. He let his eyes linger for a moment, desperately trying to hold the courage to look at his potential end.

“Delirious?” The familiar voice was nervous in a way Jon didn’t think was possible. Brown clashed with blue, fear dominating both colours, secrets hiding behind each iris. “Can I talk with you?”

Jon shrugged, rising from his seat, suppressing his shaking as much as physically possible. Toonz shot him a look as he passed, promising support should it all go wrong, plus pain to Evan should he hurt the elder. Said man had already turned away, only occasionally glancing back to check if Jon was following him.

The shorter man was, eyes focused on those strong planes of Evan’s back, committing them to memory, allowing his feet to fall without regret. Anxiety was rising with vengeance, choking his throat and stealing his air, leaving him vibrating with tension. The pair turned into the kitchen, Jon’s fingers auto gripping his sleeves, knuckles straining with the force he was using.

This would either make him or break him, and as Evan turned his gorgeous face back around, pinning that kind gaze on Jon’s smaller form, the elder man thought he was going to throw up. _He couldn’t do this…_

Yet he had too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello my lovelies. As we near the end, i would like to thank you all once again for your amazing support. I wouldn't have made it nearly this far with out you all, and for that i'm grateful.  
> If any of you want to get to know me a little better, feel free to check out my youtube channel. its just random crap really, and i havent posted in a while, but ill be back to that soon.  
> Once again, i love you all, and you are amazing.  
> Cheesewheel  
> https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcfgOOlWVBQR_znqqDdT-Ag


	48. Confession

**Evan’s POV:**

The silence was unbearable.

It had never been like this between the pair, Evan having never been worried about saying what was on his mind to the elder, finding it so easy to chat nonsense when they were together. In contrast, the silence was like a bucket of ice after a hot shower, sharp against his nerves, leaving shivers to run down his spine.

Add to that the terrified look in those beautiful blues, the shaking breaths that left the narrow chest before him, made Evan’s own nerves all the worse. He opened his mouth several times, trying to verbalise his sorrow and guilt at causing Jon so much pain, but nothing seemed adequate. SO the two men remained quiet, staring each other down, unable to read the other for the first time since they’d met.

It was Jonathon who broke the stiff silence.

“Explain.”

The word was rough, as if the smaller hadn’t spoken in a while, and full of suppressed emotion. Evan’s heart bled for his companion, wanting to curl around him and chase the negativity away, but knowing it may not be welcome. Instead he took a deep breath, running a hand wearily through his black locks as he released it.

“Ok,” he whispered back, mind scrambling for the right words. Jon looked surprised. “Ok, I’ll explain.”

Blue eyes were locked on him now, curiosity bleeding through the wall of emotion, yet fear was still dominant. Evan swallowed as he looked back, soaking in the pale features once more, promising himself he would never forget Jon like this, so scared yet facing down the world with courage Evan couldn’t match.

The man before him was amazing, and he had to wonder how it had taken so long to work out how he felt about the elder. Opening his mouth once more, he took the dive.

“I didn’t say those things because I hate you. I didn’t mean it like it came out, and I don’t deserve your forgiveness for my actions that hurt you. But I need you to know that what I said wasn’t what I meant.” The words shook as they left his lips, eyes never wavering in their gaze, scanning for any change. None came.

“Then what did you mean?”

The question was blunt, can could be described as cold by anyone who didn’t know the clown. Evan could hear the underlying doubts, the slight wobble. He could still read the worry in those clenched fists and tense shoulders. He could see how important it was that he fixed this.

“Well, that’s the hard part, isn’t it,” the Canadian continued, voice hollow. “I spent all that time wishing I could meet you, send time hanging out together, I never once thought that it could change how I felt about you.” Jon flinched then, face paling further. The man seemed to lose all hope, face turning as he began to walk away. The younger panicked, not even thinking as his hand shot out to grasp the thin forearm, preventing escape before he could finish.

“Wait, don’t… I don’t mean it in a bad way Jon,” he stuttered out, desperate to explain. “I don’t hate you, I never could. When I met you, you were so much better that I ever thought, I’d never had a better time than when I’m hanging out with you.”

Confusion met his words.

“Then why do you keep avoiding me?” the American croaked. He looked exhausted and hopeless, ready to give up and go to bed, yet Evan couldn’t let him leave like that. He had to trust Brock and tell the truth.

“Because I was afraid of letting you know how I really felt. I didn’t want to scare you off and lose you forever. I’m addicted to everything about you, and I don’t know how to move forward without you in my life. I live to see you, hear that crazy laugh, to make you happy.”

“That doesn’t make sense, Evan,” Jonathon sighed, tugging his arm in an attempt to escape. Evan just smiled sadly back, preparing himself for heartbreak with his next statement.

“It does Jon, it does,” he whispered, world shrinking down to the gorgeous man before him. “It makes so much sense because I’m in love with you.”  Jon didn’t move, but that wouldn’t stop Evan now. “I love waking up next to you in the morning, I love hearing your laugh and being the cause of it, I love your sense of humour. Your also stupidly gorgeous, with your stupid perfect face, and ridiculously blues eyes. Seriously, how are they that blue.

But anyway, I am about six thousand percent in love with you, and I was afraid it would make you hate me, so I’ve was trying to hide it, and there have been acting weird,” he ended in a rush, blood rushing to his cheeks, warming them embarrassingly.

He felt like an absolute sap, confessing in such a way, the relief was enormous, leaving him feeling ten times lighter.

At least, until Jon burst out laughing.

 

**Jonathon’s POV:**

His laughter seemed harsh, even to his own ears, yet he couldn’t help it. Of all the excuses he could have imagined, this was not one of them and the idea seemed so ridiculous he became hysterical. He barely even noticed Evan’s hurt look as he huffed out what he knew to be the truth.

“ _Bullshit,_ ” he spat cruelly, lashing out to protect his own damaged soul. “You don’t love me.” Evan’s mouth opened rapidly, obviously ready to protest, yet Jon didn’t allow him to speak. “I knew you could be a troll Vanoss, but trying to play me like this is more than just a dick move, it’s sadistic. I fucking bet you know how I feel about you and though that was a fucking great joke, let’s give him hope and then crush him, the fuckin’ retard.”

He knew he should stop, but the words were coming hard and fast.

“Oh yeah, let’s play a prank on Jon, make him seem like a right dick for falling for his best friend, I bet you got the other’s in on it too MPHM.”

A large tanned hand had clamped over his mouth, mocha eyes wide with something that Jon couldn’t read.

“What did you just say,” the younger whispered, hand moving away slowly to allow the shorter to speak. Jon blinked, confused by the other’s surprise.

“I said you’re a dick for playing a prank on me,” he repeated slowly, still trying to tug his arm free. “You deaf or some shit?” The other seemed to ignore the question, shaking his head rapidly.

“No no no no no, the other bit,” Evan rushed out, hands tightening their grip in urgency. Jon narrowed his eyes back, teeth gritting in anger.

“Piss off, you fuckin’ heard me. I’m not letting you fuckin’ laugh at me even more, dickhead.” Evan didn’t flinch at the growled words, pressing closer to the now struggling man, desperation openly visible on his handsome face.

“I’m not laughing Jon, trust me, I swear,” the Canadian begged, making the elder snort.

“Why should I trust you? You basically told me you hated me,” he hissed back, spotting a shadow falling through the doorway. _Of course the guys were listening in._

“I told you, that wasn’t what I meant. It was a drunken mistake, cause I’m an emotionally stunted dick who doesn’t know how to deal with his emotions. I was stressed and drunk, so I took it out on you, and I never should have done that.” Jon had never seen the younger like this, so raw and exposed with his emotions. “I’m not going to stop you walking away because of that, but I won’t let you go unless you believe the truth that I’m in love with you.”

Brown irises screamed for forgiveness, strong jaw clenched in worry as firm hands finally released, soft sigh escaping the taller.

“Please Jonathon,” was whispered, desperation painfully obvious. “Please.”

Said man stared back, unable to believe it. How could such a perfect man possibly love a person like him? He was a wreck of a human being, unable to do even simple tasks like reading, and talking properly. He was the coward that hid behind the screen and a crappy mic, who couldn’t stand the criticism of his voice enough to stick with it, who had panic attacks every time he couldn’t meet his subscribers demand.

Yet Evan was looking at him as if he was the only person in the world, whilst begging to be believed. Jon scanned his for any sign of deception, a hit of a lie, but none was to be found. Instead he could only see those kind eyes that had shown him nothing but support and friendship in their time together. Memories echoed in his mind.

_“You know I won’t judge.”_

_“You are definitely not average looking, Del.”_

_“Don’t worry Del, I’ll keep you company.”_

_“_ _Don’t you dare be sorry”_

_“I’m really glad you’re here with me Jon.”_

_“Trust me Del.”_

_“You gunna be ok?”_

_“I’m Excited to see you too.”_

_“Chrissy’s right… you do look cute.”_

_“You Ok?”_

_“You’re ok Del, I promise.”_

_“I’m sorry.”_

_“I never wanted to hurt you Jon.”_

_“You’re fucking hot when your angry.”_

_“I’m in love with you.”_

It couldn’t be true, could it? Where those soft words and lingering looks really be proof of Evan’s words? Did this amazing man return his feelings?

Those gorgeous eyes, open face, and repeated actions all screamed for one answer.

Yes, he did. Evan loved him back.


	49. Proof

**Evan’s POV:**

His heart was ready to burst out of his chest. He was locked on to the smaller man, waiting to hear the truth behind the words Jon had snarled in anger. He had to admit, the laugh that came after his confession nearly ruined the Canadian, only the additional shock keeping him on his feet until he heard the slip. And now he was hanging on edge as he waited for Jonathon to realise he was being honest, seeing the anger and disbelief in those eyes change to confusion and wonder.

Evan didn’t even notice he was leaning forward until a small pale hand landed on his chest, halting his motion. He almost flinched when said hand shifted over his heart, feeling the pounding organ, making blue eyes widen.

“You… you…” Jon whispered, voice wobbling ever so slightly. Evan could only nod. “B-but… it doesn’t make sense.” Evan smiled sadly once more.

“Does to me,” he whispered back, terrified to speak louder and break the bubble they had created. “Your everything I could ever want Jon, and more than I deserve. Anyone with eyes can see that.” A light brown brow rose.

“You sayin’ I don’t have eye pupils,” the smaller murmured back, laughter hiding behind his voice. The taller snorted back.

“Depends, do you believe me?”

Jon paused then, bright blues blinking curiously up at him, hand still resting on his chest. Black painted nails shifted to curl in the fabric of his shirt, wrinkling the fabric, and distorting the faded logo. Evan visually traced up the pale wrist, watching it disappear into that famous blue hoodie, cuffs tattered from use. The fabric was baggy of Jon’s small frame, hiding the lean muscle Evan knew lived there, making the man seem even more petite. His eyes hovered over cherry pink lips, wondering once more how they would taste, before finally drifting back up to meet those amazing eyes.

The blue seemed even brighter, filled with hope and confusion, pinned on Evan’s own, waiting for a punchline that would never come. Evan couldn’t stand it anymore, couldn’t stand the distance.

“Can I hug you?” he questioned softly, truly setting his heart out to be smashed to pieces. No verbal answer came, just a nervous nod from the clown, yes still permission.

The Canadian moved slowly, raising his arms in a way that a person would approach a frightened animal, pressing forward against the hand that separated him. There was no resistance as he ensnared his friend, arms locking around the narrow waist and shoulders, being engulfed by the familiar scent of pine. His muscles automatically began relaxing, head dipping to rest his chin on soft brown locks, feeling the other melt into his chest.

Jon’s other hand joined the first in gripping his shirt, face burrowing in his shoulder, small frame still shaking slightly.

Evan couldn’t help but ask, “this ok?”, gaining another nod, this one more sure. They stood there for a while, arms periodically tightening to remind the other they were still with them, swaying gently in the silence of the room. It may have been hours, or minutes for all Evan knew, when Jon pulled back to look at him, face open and raw with emotion that was difficult to describe, yet the Asian man knew what it meant, could feel it too.

He scanned the face he had only know for a little over a month, the face that he wanted to know for years, the fact that caught his attention before he even knew who it belonged to. Yet, he could still see the man he had known for years, the person he had spilt his soul out to in the middle of the night, a stranger who he knew better than himself, who he could read without seeing, his partner in crime, his go to.

His best friend.

And the warmth, the strength of emotion that filled his very soul, that once terrified him, all came back. And he knew there was nothing but love in his soul for this man, and that he would tear down the world should the other need him to.

“Evan…” Jon breathed, the whoosh of air floating across the younger’s mouth, making his nerves light up. Dark lashes fell across electric blue, leaving the gaze at half-mast as Jon continued. “Show me.”

It was such a simple request, just two words, but they asked so much. Evan’s nerves rocketed, heart hammering once more as his gaze flickered downwards, body heating in a way he wasn’t used to in relation to another man. Instinct told him to hide it, that this wasn’t him, that it wasn’t safe. Yet the man facing him stayed calm, face open and trusting once more now he knew what was happening, now he understood Evan’s turmoil.

There was no anger or judgement, just a soft smile, so calm in a way that the world didn’t know Delirious could be.

“It’s ok, Ev. It’s just me,” the elder whispered, lids still half shut. “You know I won’t judge.”

The words resonated in his memories, easing his worries and making his own smile form, as he replied ever so carefully,

“I know.”

And with that, he cupped that wonderfully soft cheek, stroking his thumb across a high cheek bone, own gaze dropping. His traced his dry lips, watching as Jon tracked the motion, unconsciously mimicking it, making a primal hunger flare. Head dipping, he _finally_ captured that sassy mouth for his own.

**Jonathon’s POV:**

He was dead. He had to be to have _Evan Fong,_ VanossGaming himself, kissing him like he was drowning, and Jon was his last breath. One large hand was cupping his cheek, the other hooked around his waist, Jon’s own hands remaining fisted in the taller’s shirt. Their lips moved together as if they had done this a thousand times, moulded in such a way that it was hard to tell who was who.

It felt insanely cliché, all fireworks and instant addiction like in the crappy romance novels, but real. But then he felt a warm tongue touch the seam of his lips, heard the moan that escaped his throat as Evan pressed even closer. He was barely aware he was moving backwards until he felt the wall against his back, trapping him between the solid surface and well-defined chest.

One of his hands released, sliding up a strong shoulder and neck, eventually finding hair as soft as it looked, fisting once more to tug softly at the locks. A low growl echoed through from his companion, vibrating their connection, making him weak at the knees. Hell, he was sure that if Evan hadn’t been supporting him, he would have sunk to the floor as a useless puddle.

He never wanted it to end.

A hand was just sliding down to grip his hip when a throat cleared from across the room, bursting their heated bubble and yanking Jon back into reality. They both pulled back, and Jon opened his eyes to find Evan’s gazing back, irises blown to the point where only a thin ring of familiar brown remained.

Both men were breathing heavily, hands still gripping tightly at the other. The gaze between them was heated, promising so much more to come, laced with the undertone of love. The shared emotion was more intimate than any sex Jon had ever had, leaving his gasping for breath. It took another cough for Evan to step back, arm sliding ever so perfectly over Jon’s shoulders, settling in its rightful place.

They found the crew crowded in the doorway, grinning like idiots, if a little shocked. He exchanged an exasperated look with the Canasian beside him, only to turn back when Brian began talking.

“Well, well, well,” the Irishman snarked, self-satisfied smirk on his face. “Look who’s last te get together.” Jon rolled his eyes as Evan face palmed next to him, looking exasperated, leaving the European giggling his ass off, despite Brock’s repeated elbowing.

That seemed to break the groups self-control, cheering and shouting echoing around the kitchen as they rushed the two men, bundling on them in a giant group hug. Jon could only make out fragments of sentences, feeling deafened as he was squished between Bryce and Lui.

“…bout time…”

“……..knew it would happen…..”

“..long enough…”

“……ya stupid focks…………”

“…Jesus Christ…”

“………so hot…..”

It was only when Evan called out, voice echoing over all the others, that the chaos calmed down.

“ALLLLLLLLLLLLLRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGHHHHHHTTTTT,” the normally level voice almost screamed. “Calm the fuck down, and back away bitches.” And surely enough, slowly people detached themselves, leaving the two men to stand in front of the group, listening to the excitable chatter. They exchanged a grin, wordlessly expressing their exasperated love for their friends. Evan tweaked a brow, making a giggle escape the shorter, leading the taller to beam at Jon, knocking the breath from him.

Evan was perfect like this, cheeks flushed and lips red, eyes pinned on him full of adoration and happiness. The man looked happier than he had in a long time, and it reflected on Jon’s own emotions, making him feel impossibly light. He scanned the man before him, before padding forward, leaning ever so slowly into Evan’s space.

The taller didn’t even flinch as Jon stood on tiptoe to reach his ear, letting his breath float across the lobe, enjoying the goose bumps that formed. He remained there for a moment, enjoying the fact that he could do this without regrets, that he could be this close to the man he had admired since day one.

Then he whispered the words he had held back all those years, set free the feelings that followed him everywhere, and it made him feel like the most powerful man in the world at Evan’s responding shudder.

“I love you too.”


	50. Smut and Cuteness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: contains smut

**Evan’s POV:**

He was on cloud nine. Jon’s returned words had make him feel as light as a feather with joy, grin never leaving his face as the group relocated back to the front room. There was some coo-ing from Nogla as the two curled up next to each other, Evan ignoring in favour of finally allowing his urges to hold the smaller man take over, arms wrapping firmly around the perfectly narrow waist before him to pull Jonathon tight against his side. The warm body melted into him, pale hands playing lightly with the fingers lying over his stomach, making the taller relax as well as the Nintendo was un-paused.

He almost dozed off, warm body and noisy banter surrounding him, exhausted from the emotional night that he had had. His face was burrowed in soft hair before he could register the movement, smile stretching his cheeks at the responding hum. He nuzzled the smooth locks, giggling at the low chuckle he had in return, blue eyes peaking up at him with mischief.

Without warning, a sharp elbow stabbed him in the ribs, manical laughter bursting forth at the indignant yell Evan released. A few eyes rolled in their direction at the noise, game continuing without fault even when the clown faced man hit the deck, Evan laughing joyfully above him, frantically slapping away the pale hands that were grabbing at him.

“Come here you bitch!” was screamed in the Canadian’s ear before he was finally yanked on top of the smaller man, the force pressing a squeal out of the narrow chest, noise adding to the ringing in Evan’s ears, who was busy trying to pin the now struggling man to the floor, giggles bursting uncontrolled from their lips.

The wrestled for a few minutes, the taller of the two determined to keep the upper, various yells becoming a new form of entertainment for the room.

“Twenty bucks on Vanoss,” John croaked from behind a cloud of mist, eyes dancing with amusement. Marcel snorted.

“Bull shit, everyone knows Delirious plays dirty as fuck,” the man snarked, dropping his controller in frustration as the screen flashed a disappointing fourth. “Are we really betting on these losers?”

“Of course we are,” Brian added, Irishman looking triumphant from his MarioKart win, arm flopped casually around a disapproving Moo. “We’re a bunch of sad sacks with nothing better to do. And raising the stakes always makes it more interesting. My money’s on t’em fucking before – OW!” Brock showed zero remorse as Brian rubbed his head, pouting.

“No betting!” The sharp words gave no effect, a pool of money already beginning to build on the table, Droidd noting down the various bets. Brock just huffed half-heartedly as Toonz leant forward, slapping forty dollars into the Mexican’s hand, declaring “All on Vanoss, Delirious is a fucking weakling.”

An indignant ‘OI’ was choked from the man who Evan currently had in a head lock, the younger man crying with laughter as his friend ( ** _boyfriend?_** ) attempted to escape his hold. The small form was arching wildly, black nails digging into his sleeve as he snarled various insults at the other. Only a second sharp elbow to the gut made his hold break, the blue clad man spinning to tackle him in an attempt to pin the Canasian.

Thankfully for Evan, Jon was too wound up to gain a proper grip, allowing him to easily roll them and capture the shorter’s wrists above his head, weight enough to stop the elder from bucking him off. Brown met rage filled blue, easily able to locate the spark of laughter buried beneath, grinning at his ruffled companion. He scanned the pink flushed cheeks and protesting mouth, tousled brown hair and fighting expression, and his amusement morphed into heat.

His weight dipped further, their lower bodies moulding together as he leant closer, eyelids dropping to half-mast. Jonathon’s own eyes dipped, flashing down to his lips before returning to relock with his own. The surrounding noise faded into the background as Evan sank further, brushing their lips together.

It was only a light touch, barely there, but enough to make the Asian immediately come back for more, head dipping again and again, leaving multiple soft kisses on those _frankly perfect_ lips, allowing himself to linger more and more each time. Jon had begun to lean up, straining against the younger’s hands every time he pulled back, fighting to keep the separation non-existent.

Evan just grinned wickedly, sinking to attach his mouth to that unnaturally smooth neck, feeling more than hearing the hitch in Jon’s breath, nipping at the pale flesh between kisses. The high-pitched whine he gained in return raised the temperature by several degrees, room shrinking down to the bubble they had created.

A pillow slapping him across the back of the head broke said bubble, dark head shooting up without releasing the form beneath him.

“What?” Delirious snapped from under him, face scrunched up in frustration. Evan tilted his head just enough to see Toonz’s exasperated look, dark eyes rolling.

“If you two are gunna fuck, get a room. I don’t wanna see that pasty ass again after last time,” the elder stated, hip popping out with the sass that oozed from his pours. The two horizontal men looked back at each other, cheeks flushing in unison as they remembered where exactly they were. Evan let go of the blue-eyed man, rolling away sheepishly, trying to avoid the amused looks he was getting from the surrounding room. Brown met azure once more, flicking in silent conversation. One of Jon’s light brows twitched slightly in amusement, Evan relaxing enough to give him a sly wink back.

The wicked grin and evil laugh that came back merely reignited the temporally doused flames of desire, Evan only looking away to shoot Luke a smug smirk before pulling himself and Jon to their feet, not even pausing to yank them out of the room and towards the stairs. The pair raced towards the bedroom like it was any other day, only the heated under current exposing the fun to come.

They crashed through the door, Evan slamming it shut before stumbling over to join Jon on the bed, lips locking ferociously once more. The shorter was quick to scrabble to the top, narrow fingers burrowing into his dark locks and tugging, making an involuntary growl escape his chest. Jon seemed to melt at that point, body sagging into his, pressing their faces even closer.

 

 

**Jonathon’s POV:**

The room was spinning wildly, but Jon couldn’t bring himself to care. He was too busy focusing on the man who was currently straddling him, hair sticking up wildly from Jon’s wandering fingers, tanned cheeks flushed and mocha eyes wild with desire. That strong chest hiding behind a crumbled shirt was heaving, Evan seeming just as breathless as Jon felt. He wanted nothing more to tear into those obstructive clothes and taste the man hiding beneath, feel those strong hands manipulate him, on his skin, in him…

His thought alone were enough to leave him trembling with want, hand scrambling to try and tug off Evan’s dark shirt, frustrated whine escaping his throat when he failed. His captor chuckled deeply, the sound sending shivers down the elder’s spine, before his face was cupped in large tanned hands, palms trembling almost undetectably.

The tremors made sense, when added to the nerves he could see hiding behind molten brown irises, Jon pausing to scan the gorgeous face above him. Evan paused as well, held tilting slightly in question, the silent _ok?_ floating between them. Calloused thumbs stroked across his cheek bones, palms holding his face steady so the younger could check him over for any damaged that might have happened. Jon just smiled softly, pure affection filling his soul for this wonderful, _perfect_ man, hands doubling their grip on the other’s shirt, determined not to let go.

“ _I love you,”_ he breathed, responding smile nearly blinding in its intensity.

“I love you too…” was whispered back softly, warm breath brushing across Jon’s mouth, followed by an even softer kiss, spit slicked lips locking as if they had all the time in the world. “I really don’t want to fuck this up Jon,” Evan continued when they parted, nerves now leaking into that honey smooth voice.

Blue eyes softened automatically, pink lips quirking into a reassuring smile as Jon lifted a single hand, pushing dark locks away from pretty eyes.

“It’s ok Ev, you know I won’t judge.” Matching smiles appeared at the well-used phrase. “And as long as it’s with you, anything we’ll do is perfect.”

“You can’t know that,” was the gentle admonishment, tanned nose nudging his own in a teasing manner. Jon just grinned wickedly back.

“Ask anyone, I bet they’d agree with me.” His eyebrows wiggled in amusement, glowing under Evan’s exasperated chuckle.

“I’d much rather stay here,” the taller returned, dipping once more to scatter kisses across his jaw, grin pressing into pale skin as Jon moaned.

“I agree,” he panted, tugging once more at the offending shirt. Evan relented then, sitting up to yank said shirt over his head before reattaching his mouth to the American’s collar bone, pressure guaranteed to leave a mark. Jon couldn’t deny his dick twitching in interest, the idea of carrying Evan’s mark sending a new wave of heat through him.

The light nip of teeth left him arching, hands frantically trying to find purchase on those broad shoulders, smooth skin like lava under his palms. Evan just continued, hands finding a home on Jon’s jean clad hips, pressing him back into the mattress, before sliding up his narrow chest, shirt being dragged with. _He didn_ _’t even remember when they had flipped…_ he didn’t have time to question the idea when his shirt was pulled off him, pale skin sharply contrasting with his tanned companion, shivers running through them both as the two chests were sandwiched together, lips locking in battle once more.

Faux black nails found purchase in Evan’s back, digging in as their erections connected, hips grinding slowly in a delightful tease. A protesting groan escaped Jon when the taller pulled back, large hands sliding down his narrow waist to rest on jeans button. A second groan followed when the Canadian paused, dark eyes dancing with mirth at the squirming man, chuckling at the distressed whine that the American couldn’t contain.

“Stop laughin’ at me bitch!” he snarled, hips twisting in effort to get out of the restraining grip, huffing as the giggles increased. “Either stop laughing and get on with it, or I’ll take care of myself.”

His own grin was sparked at the indignance that appeared, mirth being replaced with heat and determination, deft fingers undoing the button in a flash. The noise of a zipper lowering made his dick jump, brushing against tanned digits in its attempt to escape, gasp escaping at the fleeting friction. Evan dragged the fabric down, body following until that cocky expression was level with the tent in Jon’s boxers, smirk reappearing as he blew lightly across the fabric, hands still pinning his narrow hips.

Jonathon almost regretted challenging the man, preparing himself to die of blue balls in the _world’s longest foreplay session,_ when warm lips dipped to mouth the outline of his cock through the soft cloth. The air left his lungs as Evan peppered the area with wet kisses, thighs straining to break the hold on his hips, get closer to that beautiful warmth, high pitched moans spilling freely.

As Evan moved up and over his hip bones, his hands hooked underneath the edge of the elastic, mocha brown darting up to meet hooded blues, silently asking for permission. Jon could only nod, arching to aid the removal of the offending boxers, eyes sliding fully shut as he remembered to breathe.

Said thought vanished into thin air as Evan swallowed him down to the root, wordless shout echoing around the room as pale hands burrowed into raven locks, gripping spasmodically. Evan groaned when he tugged, resulting vibrations rocketing Jon towards the fast approaching end. His hips rocked uncontrolled as the youngers name left his lips, repeated mantra starting to sound like a desperate prayer.

Then Evan decided to flick his tongue through his slit, and Jon very nearly came. Howling with the strain of holding back, he forced those sinful lips off his dick, slamming their mouths together, moaning like a whore at the taste of himself on Evan’s tongue, hands scrambling for the other’s jeans, whispered pleas escaping from between them.

“ _Jesus fuck Evan… you didn’t even choke… fuck me, Jesus, seriously, I need you to fuck me right now.”_ Hair wild and lips spit-slicked, the taller pulled back, breathless and flushed. He gave a sly grin, leaning close to Jon’s ear.

“ _No gag reflex bitch.”_

Disbelief and lust shot through Jon, nonsensical noises escaping as their lips reconnected. They stayed locked together, tongues battle for dominance, as Evan’s jeans were shed, pale hand frantically searching through the neighbouring drawer for his lube ( _so what if he was prepared, a man can dream… and apparently those dreams can come true)_. He could’ve cried when he found it, frantically slapping it in the other’s hand, grinning into their kiss when he heard the tell-tale click.

The next few minutes were a desperate struggle for Jon, Evan prepping him in a way that was so slow and careful he thought he might cry from the build-up. Those long fingers were perfect for just grazing his prostate, body grinding down in effort to gain more friction, only for them to disappear with a teasing grin, soft lips easily swallowing his excessive moans.

The whimper escaped without control when Evan pulled away to shift through the draw, sensation of emptiness almost overwhelming. He rested his gaze on the furrowed brow above him, panting as he traced strong shoulders, eyes sliding shut as said expression changed to triumph, focusing on relaxing his nerves. Flinching at the sudden tearing noise, too loud in his straining ears, before his pounding heart took back over. A string of soft swears came from his companion, Jon easily bursting into giggles when his peak revealed fumbling tanned hands and flushed face, bright eyes flicking towards him in betrayal.

The giggles soon died once the elder realised Evan had removed his remaining boxers, eyes drinking in the sight of his cock, long and hard, head red and shining with precum. His hand drifted down without his permission, eager to touch, feel, _taste…_ stopped by a strong grip, hard head shaking as their lips reconnected. This kiss was slower, full of purpose and promises, an action of untainted love. It stole his breath in a whole new way, making his heart strain with emotion, chest feeling as if it would burst free from his ribcage.

Evan must have finished putting on the condom during this, because the next thing he registered was a thick length nudging at his entrance, arms twisting around the younger’s neck in effort to hold on, to pull him closer, connect them. Arching, he gaped as the stretch began, body straining to accommodate Evan, broad head opening him perfectly, slight burn just doubling the pleasure.

It felt like an eternity before the Canadian finally bottomed out, bodies pressed flushed together, chests rising and falling in tandem. Their foreheads connected, Evan’s jaw straining with tension as Jon panted wildly, blue eyes soaking in the site of perfection above him.

“Evvvvvvaaaaannnnn,” he moaned when said man shifted, cock rubbing sharply against his prostate. “Evan… please…”

“Please what?” the taller grunted back, tight control obvious even behind the teasing. Jon growled back in frustration, bucking up, moans escaping them both. Burrowing his hands in soft raven, he yanked firmly, basking in the growl that was his response.

“Make me yours,” he shot back, more of a plea than the demand he had hoped for. “I want to feel it, I want to feel _you._ ”

It was like hitting a switch. Any hesitance disappeared from the Asian, arm hooking under Jon’s thigh as Evan pulled back, hardly giving the smaller chance to miss the fullness before he was slamming back at full force, the noise of skin slapping echoing sharply in the room, action repeating rapidly.

Jon just keened. Each thrust was long as sharp, that beautiful cock hitting all the right spots, stealing any air he hoped to get. Teeth dug into the joint between his neck and shoulder, easily marking the pale skin, making sure the world would know what had happened in this bed. The idea alone pushed him even higher, voice cracking as lips moved up, catching his earlobe.

His nails dragged back over tanned shoulders, gripping as he found a sharp collarbone to gasp against, lips attempting to leaving his own brand, moaning at the unique taste mixed with the saltiness of sweat.

Jon could feel his orgasm in the distance, wanting to build and crest, forced to bubble under the surface by the glancing brushes and pressure that wasn’t quite enough. It was frustratingly addicting, Jon wanting the sensations to build but never leave. He moaned every time his pleasure spiked, eyes locking onto Evan’s, begging for more silently.

The message must have got through, because suddenly the younger shifted his angle, somehow increasing his pace, Jon shouting in surprise and ecstasy as Evan began hammering his prostate dead on, pale legs locking around strong waist in effort to hold on, pleasure spiralling out of control.

His eyes had slammed shut, head thrown back as the pillow mushed his hair, body bucking wildly. The headboard was slamming against the wall with each strong thrust, high pitched noises escaping his chest, combining with Evan’s grunts to create an alluring melody. Warm hands cupped his cheeks, Canadian propped up on his forearms as he gazed down at the other.

“Open your eyes, Jonathon,” the Canadian commanded between breaths, eyes locked onto pale features. “Open your eyes and look at me.”

Bright blue flew open, easily locating the other’s gaze, mouth slack with pleasure as he attempted to responded, no more than desperate whines coming forth. And for one beautiful second, brown softened, seeming to soak in the vision below him, memorising every detail of Jon’s face. His thrusts faltered for half a second, buried so deep inside of Jon he could feel it in his throat, before redoubling once more.

“Let go Jon,” was whispered, desperation staining the syllables. “Come for me.”

As if waiting for permission, he crested, muscles convulsing with the force of his orgasm, cum splatting between their bodies as his pleasure rolled rapidly, hips jerking wildly. Evan‘s thrusting only stuttered with his clenching, body probably feeling like a vice for the man who was straining to help him ride out his end, keep that keen from stopping.

It felt like it lasted days, despite only being a few seconds, body twitching with the aftershocks as he slowly came down. Yet Evan kept moving, albite not so harshly against his over sensitive gland, tight grunts evidence of his own edge. Despite feeling like jelly, Jon couldn’t look away, hands smoothing soft hair away from furrowing brows, catching the Asian’s attention once more.

“Stop being so Canadian and do it,” he panted softly, staying calm at the spark of surprise. “I want te see you,” he slurred, body gorgeously relaxed.

And with that, Evan let go, thrusts becoming short and sharp, cock barely leaving his fucked-out hole as the younger chased his own orgasm. He was obviously close already, hips soon stuttering as a sharp groan filled the room, slamming as close as possible as if he was trying to fit more than just his cock into Jon. That dark head dropped after a few moments, tanned body relaxing easily onto Jon’s smaller one, sweat and jizz cooling rapidly on their skin.

They lay there for a while, breathing calming slowly as the lust faded into post coital bliss. The taller rolled sideways, unsticking their chests as he pulled free from Jon, the American groaning slightly from the loss. Blue eyes slid shut, listening to the slick noises of a condom tying and being thrown into the trash, dull thud signifying the perfect shot. A tissue was poked into his lax palm, arm shaking with effort when he raised it to clean the mess he had created on his stomach.

Their eyes caught when he went to throw it away, rising tension breaking as they collapsed in laughter. The relief was enormous, from both the sexual tension, and the worry that something would change, and to just lie next to his best friend, dying of laughter with the relaxation you could get from a good orgasm… it was all Jon could ask for. The feel of the strong man next to him shaking with amusement, chuckles flowing for a joke only they understood, was heavenly, and as they came down from their high, he just smiled. Rolling to prop his chin on a firm pec, that gorgeous face grinned back down at him, eyes locking with joy. Evan threw his free arm around his shoulders, the action still so familiar despite the hell they had been through to get here.

It was perfect.

 

 

 

“You guys done now?”

They burst back into giggles.

 

* * *

 

 

**Epilogue:**

**Evan’s POV:**

“Suck my dick zombie fucks!” Tyler screamed as he blasted his train. They were playing Black ops four and failing massively, only Tyler able to stay alive in the chaos.

“REVIVE ME!!!!” Daithi screamed in response, only to have loud thuds echo across the discord call as his character finally bled out. Moo and Evan were crying with laughter, both slowly dying as well, when the score screen appeared.

“Fucking stupid sniper, HOW AM I MEANT TO KILL ZOMBIES WITH THIS SHIT?!” Tyler raged, having been killed to.

“Well that was a waste of an hour,” Moo chuckled, making Evan grin at his screen.

Tyler snorted, “Yeah, and it’s late as shit. Fuck this game, I’m ending my video here. Hope you all enjoyed and all that crap, peace out!” A small beep echoed as said man shut down his computer, leaving the other two with a still raging Nogla.

They ignored him, checking their own clocks and exiting the game.

“I should go, got a date tonight,” the Canadian piped, glancing at his clock. Moo made a small noise of interest, but it was Daithi who asked.

“Isn’t it like midnigh’ at yers?” the Irishman questioned, finally having quietened down.

“Yup,” Evan responded, happily popping the P as he span his chair in circles. “Best time for a date, everyone knows that.”

“Bullshit,” was the response. “Yer fockin’ crazy is all.”

“Probably,” was the Asian’s simple answer, grin forming as his office door began to creep open. “Got to go dudes, I’ll talk later.”

“Fuckin’ abandon us then will ye?” Nogla snorted, Moo hushing him.

“Leave them be Nogla. Have fun Evan and tell Jon we said hi.” Evan barely noticed the amusement in the American’s voice, murmuring a half response as he hung up, head set being discarded as the door opened fully.

“Ready?” His companion quizzed, fiddling with his keys.

Evan scanned the form in front of him. Narrow legs covered in black jeans, broken by a soft blue button up, nails freshly painted midnight black, and brown hair stylishly messy. The man was gorgeous, all pale skin and red lips, thin frame hiding a surprising strength. But it was his striking blue eyes, full of excitement and laughter, that drew Evan in, widening the Canasian’s smile as he stood, striding towards the other.

That beautiful gaze that had caught his attention now three years ago in an arcade in Boston was as addicting as ever, only hidden when dark lashes fluttered at the soft kiss he delivered to pink lips. Grinning once more and linking their arms, they turned to leave.

“I’m always ready bitch.”

Jonathon just laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY FINISHED. Sorry for the wait, I was determined to put a lot of effort in this chapter, plus it's a long one. To all those who made it, welcome to the end. This story went in a wildly different direction from what I originally planned, and was much longer, but I'm proud of it.  
> Thank you to everyone who supported me during this journey, wouldn't have made it without you guys! you've all be so wildly kind, and pure, and I love you for it.  
> I recently created a tumblr account, so feel free to follow me at: kittykatfursona where i post random quotes from my weird life.  
> Almost sad to leave.  
> Thank you all again, and PEACE OUT!  
> P.s. serious, your comments make me want to cry with how sweet they are.


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